Narcissistic Brothers and Sisters Impose Cruelty Upon their Siblings

There's nothing worse than a narcissistic sibling (except a narcissistic spouse, narcissistic mother or narcissistic father.) You find out very early in your life that you are under the control and siege of one of these insufferable brothers and/or sisters. Of course, mom and dad go along with this reign of terror because one or both of them created these psychological monsters. Starting very young the narcissistic sibling screams, shouts, kicks, accuses, demeans, taunts-------his sibling. He or she makes sure that the non-narcissist gets all of the blame for what he or she has done. This happens in families but with narcissists they take it to the extremes. Bent on destruction a narcissistic sibling can turn a mother or father against his own child. The child who wears the household crown rules. If you are not with him or her, you are the enemy and must constantly duck for cover or hide. This sets up feelings of terror and shame inside of the victimized child. He never feels safe, even inside himself. There is no one he/she can go to for relief. No one believes that the narcissistic sibling is perpetrating a kind of psychological torture. In fact everyone looks up to him. He is the charmer, the bright one, the achiever----Everyone else is inferior. Some children in these families become like little servants to the narcissistic ogre. They bow and scrape in order not to be bullied and kicked psychologically and at times physically. These horrific scenes are played out in the home where a narcissistic sibling lives countless times.

Growing up in this way is brutal and highly stressful. As adult survivors many individuals are still feeling shaken and unsure of themselves. Sometimes they marry narcissists and repeat with them the childhood pattern of abuse.
Fortunately, many of these psychologically beaten children wake up and realize that they never deserved this kind of treatment, that their parents were complicit in these "crimes of the heart" or so disturbed themselves that they walked through life in a mindless fog. Those who gather themselves up and recognize that they can recover from these abusive backgrounds, grow strong and steady on every level. It is not an easy path but it is sure. They rename themselves as individuals who have prevailed over unjust and cruel family scenario. Some of them benefit from high quality psychotherapy. Others develop ways of working with their creative gifts and share the depth and beauty of imaginations with others. Many of those recovering get back in touch with the lovely child who is still deep inside of them that never lost hope, who is capable of loving deeply.  Celebrate the beginning of a new life. The inner part of yourself, the most precious and meaningful has been waiting all of your life to unfurl the beauty and strength of your individuality. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com


 

Leave the Narcissist's Golden Circle

What price will you pay to remain a part of the golden circle with whom the narcissist surrounds himself/herself.
This is a group of individuals who have been hand picked by the narcissist to enhance his image, maintain and grab more worldly power, to substantially inflate his grandiosity and extreme feelings of self entitlement. As the spouse of a narcissist you are head cheerleader. Many spouses are willing to play this role in exchange for an easy carefree lifestyle where one's needs are fulfilled, you are waited and treated with great deference, You are looked upon as a special person because of the tremendous prestige of your spouse. This is good news and bad news. If you are looked upon as  prominent, special person due to your choice of marital partner and your position in the family, you are treated with special care not because of yourself as an individual but solely due to your close association and relationship another person.

All of those within the golden circle--spouses, children, siblings, close business associates, decorative venerating friends---know how they must obey to remain part of this highly select group. Some members are truly mesmerized by the narcissist, believing that he can do no wrong and that his powers of persuasion and manipulation are limitless.

If you have been enraptured by your role in the golden circle of the narcissist as spouse, child or professional associate and finally recognize that this person is unfair, manipulative, incapable of empathy, deceitful and exploitive, this is your opportunity to take leave of this role to find yourself as an individual. Spouses become highly stressed and disgusted with the control of their lives by the narcissist. Some of them do research and discover that they are married to a duplicitous, severe personality  disorder. If the spouse has children with this individual he or she may be very concerned about the negative influence of having a narcissist as a parent.

Waking up from the delusion of believing in the narcissist as a raison d'etre represents a positive shift that provides an opportunity to lead your life, using all of your creative gifts, protecting your children, living with deep inner peace. I have communicated with those who have left the golden circle, especially spouses. Although it can be difficult, these life shifts away from the psychological imprisonment to freedom , this is a positive life choice. With the help of quality psychotherapy, the encouragement and compassion of a strong support group and a deepened understanding of the true nature of the narcissist and all of the psychological nightmares they impose on all of those close to them, this represents ultimately a turn to emotional freedom and re-instituting your own life. Those who achieve this goal deserve our congratulation. They now can make all of their own life decisions---small and large, can move through expansive pathways of creativity and spirituality (in the way that this has meaning for you.) I hear very hopeful reports and a stories of gratefulness and victory when freedom has now become a realization. We celebrate your great accomplishment. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissistic Sociopaths-Sexual Predators Getting Away With It

Narcissistic sociopaths have no sense of limits, no empathy, no decency, morals or ethics.They are driven by their impulses to achieve maximum power and wealth. When they reach the higher levels of worldly acclaim and all of the social and professional perks that are attendant with these heady roles, they get away with perpetrating sexual assaults on women who move through their lives. This applies whether they are married or not. For a sociopath, abiding by the marriage vows is a formality. These fellows stay married to a one at particular time because it burnishes their image. May she is from a prominent family, has royal lineage that has been passed down through generations, is connected with an auspicious family that can become very lucrative to the narcissist's climb to the highest rungs of professional power and prestige. Some narcissistic sociopaths are always hitting on one woman or another. They believe they are irresistible.If they are in a position of power and this woman works for them, she often gives in to their advances and allows the sexual interaction to take place to save her job. In some cases these sociopaths sexually force themselves on women whom they know are vulnerable and will keep their mouths shut. This is especially true if the female victim is in lower social and professional status position. Sometimes, narcissistic sociopaths pay hush money if the female victim threatens to talk. And then, there are men who commit rape---a serious crime and never get caught. For some the sadistic act of forcing a woman to have sex creates a sexual thrill that the sociopath indulges in to prove that he has ultimate power over females. These men hate women and are dangerous. I despise thinking of how often predatory narcissistic sociopaths are committing these crimes against women over and over again and slipping away like it never happened. The female victim is perceived as an object to be used as a receptacle for the perpetrator's sexual perversions and crimes.

Many female victims keep quiet about these crimes perpetrated on them. They are afraid of recriminations--losing their jobs, being told they were to blame, not being believed. Women must wake up to the attributes of the narcissistic sociopath. You may be married to one and not know it. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble. com, Barnes and Noble stores, etc
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Drop the Narcissists-Create the Life That You Deserve

Even if you are married to a narcissist, this person doesn't own you---how you feel, think, how well you sleep at night, what worries you, your creative gifts, your choice of close friends---your life's destiny--That belongs to you and no one else. It is difficult to buck the narcissists who are in our families including parents and siblings, in-laws and especially spouses. I hear so many life stories filled with deep emotional pain. They know that the narcissist has taken over and commandeered even their thoughts and in some dire circumstances the last shreds of hope that they will be able to escape the narcissist's grip and take back the life that they deserve as separate individuals.

Do not live by fear. I know this is very difficult if you have been under the psychological and financial yoke of the narcissists for decades or even beginning as children in a narcissistic family. The narcissistic personality is not going to change. You can dance to every tune that they play and it will never be good enough. Some spouses stay with the narcissist for the lifestyle, for the prestige of "sharing" their lives with someone who is notable and financially very successful. When you live with a narcissist there is no sharing. THEY TAKE! And you give, sometimes more than you can bear. What this kind of relationship does to your children is very destructive. It tells them that one person can harm another emotionally and psychologically and have complete control in a household with no mercy and empathy and that is OK. You who know who the narcissist really is must come forward and tell the truth by your act of separating yourself in some significant way from this highly disruptive and disturbed person. Forget those, including relatives who are pressuring you to stay with the narcissist. He or she only shows his good side to them. Also they don't want to hear anything that is negative. They are too accustomed to not being capable of dealing with the truth. They live in delusion. As long as people's lives have a gilded image on the outside, that fine with them. They are not interested in what goes on, the nightmarish scenarios that take place every day inside the confines of a house where those victimized by narcissists are held psychologically captive. If you hold the truth, that is all that matters even if hundreds of others are deluded. We live in a time when the society is ready and even thrilled by the narcissistic style. The externals of life have replaced what the heart and intuition know to be the truth. Hold on to the truth no matter who disagrees or tries to whittle you down. They are seeing through a glass darkly. Know this and remain strong in your perception.

Strengthen yourself. Learn to detach and separate from the narcissist through quieting your nervous system and your mind. Find routine and practices that help you achieve a state of calmness. Do this regularly. Find practices that work for you: gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath, various forms of meditation, beginning with short period of meditation and nonjudgmental attitudes, walking and other cardiovascular exercise that increases in your stamina and vitality, drives the engine of the immune system and raises your moods. Find your creative path---Is it journaling, gardening, blogging, podcasting, photographing Nature around you, cooking---You will know what area of creativity is calling you. Watch yourself progress. The self is always evolving and moving forward. We provide it with the right environment inside and growth takes place. This is a natural process that we experience throughout our lives. You will find others who seek and know the truth.These individuals are invaluable. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION:UNITED STATES AND INTERNATIONAL
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, bookstores online, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Rising Strong and Steady After Divorcing Narcissistic Spouse

You have spent years denying that you were married to a narcissistic personality. Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known. You were serious about building and preserving your marital union. You tried so hard. It would seem to work for a while, then the narcissist would become difficult, even impossible and blame you for everything that went wrong in his life. Narcissists only care about themselves. Everyone else including spouses and children are living narcissistic supplies that will get them to their goals of ultimate control and winning.

Now that you know that you were married to a narcissist and have gone through the painful divorce process, you life is beginning anew. You are in the process of healing. Every kind of healing---physical, mental, emotional, spiritual--takes place when we provide the right environment and receptivity to it. Develop routines that focus on your healing every day. Don't be judgmental. Be kind to yourself. Take time to be alone and quiet with yourself. You may want to meditate or write in a journal or do some gentle yoga poses. Listening to soothing music lifts us out of obsessional thought and feeling patterns and brings us into a  positive state where we can begin anew and feel refreshed. Find or create a small support group of people with whom you can share the truth and who care about you. Be appreciative of what you have been through. Work with your creative gifts which have been in cold storage during your marriage to the narcissist. Do a form of cardiovascular exercise that works for you.This increases endorphins, strengthens the immune system and helps you to sleep. Many find that gentle yoga is a source of calming, strengthening and healing the body/mind. Pay close attention to your intuition. It will speak to you and offer wise words or present you with pictures or ideas, indicating the way forward for you. You deserve deep inner peace---claim it. It's yours. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com


Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D>
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION:UNITED STATES AND INTERNATIONAL
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, barnes and noble and many others
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissistic Women-Prowling for the Right Man

If you pay close attention you can spot a narcissistic woman who is after the Alpha Man in the room. First, they are dressed for action. They are wearing outfits that will get maximum male attention. It can be subtle but it is powerful and compelling to the male. Showing some leg if it is well sculptured and of course, the right amount of cleavage is part of the calling card. These women are obsessed with their looks and their figures. They literally watch themselves in the mirror regularly to size up how irresistible they are. Narcissistic femme fatales are often addicted to aesthetic procedures that keep them looking dewy and youthful. They don't talk about these secret obsessions that keep their bodies perfectly toned and their faces shining. Bottom line----they are looking to catch a highly successful, driven, confident Class A Man whether he is married or not. If they have a profession this is their vocation. I have watched these women work a room and they are "good." They have learned to display good manners on the surface. Slowly they place themselves next to the most desirable man in the room that fits their specifications--lots of money, properties, physically attractive, confidence. They gracefully swoop in. They get physically close to this fellow and use seductive but subtle eye contact and clever body undulations to maximize the impact. They know when they have snagged the guy. Men lock on and can't let go. These narcissistic women know how to keep these captives happy with sex, pandering to their egos, hanging on their every word, pretending that the man is in charge.

Narcissistic women don't care if their dream man is married or not. His wife can easily be dispatched. The narcissistic woman doesn't give a thought to the fact that she is breaking up a family. That's their problem. Actually, the NW believes that she is the best thing that ever happened to her chosen man. Some narcissistic women seal the deal after the new marriage by getting pregnant and having a couple of children with this guy to secure her power position financially. These women control everyone in this new family. They make all of the important decisions. The man relinquishes his free will to his narcissistic wife.

When the NW has wrenched every last narcissistic supply (homes, money, social connections, great lifestyle) from this man she often move on if she finds another victim who will provide her with a headier position of power. The NW moves often without looking back, even abandoning her children, to seek a wealthier, more generous new partner. Narcissistic women only care about themselves and their winnings. They play a ruthless game; they are truly predatory and can never be trusted. Preening themselves, they are always prepared to take the next step that will provide them with ultimate power over all the "right men."  To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION: UNITED STATES AND INTERNATIONAL
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Covert Narcissists---Their Sadistic Drive to Psychologically Injure You

Covert narcissists are so verbally adept. Know that when they call you something is up. They rehearse their lines. Actually, they have been deceptive for so long that trying to get the best of you is natural to them. Covert narcissists can be so subtle that if you tell someone else that you are being worked over by one of these vipers in disguise, they won't believe you. Don't wait to get agreement or even support from many people. They cruise about saying:"Oh, she is such a nice person; you must be exaggerating" or "Just ignore it. She doesn't mean it" or "You're overly sensitive. Toughen up. Don't take things so seriously." I hear from those who have been chronically victimized and shoved around psychologically by covert narcissists. I believe them---exactly what they are saying.

There are a number of covert narcissists and a growing number of narcissists sprouting every day in this superficial cultural environment. Many are just looking at the externals: how attractive is this person, are they making lots of money, how well educated are they and did they go to "right" schools, are they bright, are they popular. Responding in the correct way to these questions is often the measure a person takes of your value as a human being. How absurd and cruel!  Becoming keenly aware how to identify and deal with the covert narcissist will help you to protect yourself from them, to maintain clear boundaries from their toxicity and to independently go forward with your life, goals, relationships and personal growth.

Covert narcissists are control obsessed. They are masterful at the art of conversation, especially if they are trying to impress you or if they want something from you. If  you catch them off-guard the conversation can be very ugly. They will snipe away at you, pecking away bit by bit until they draw the psychological blood they have been seeking. They happily feed off of others. Don't become a victim of these bloodsuckers and below the belt punchers. Remember, they only live for themselves and those whom they have chosen for their inner circle of admirers. Admirers are brainwashed to believe that this covert narcissist is a close friend and confident. The covert narcissist glories in his/her circle. He controls them with the velvet glove----offering and fulfilling many of their wishes to keep them feeling good and to deepen their dependence on this person. This is like a small cult of personality. The members of the circle look to the covert narcissist as the leader and authority figure. For the covert narcissist this is an incredible source of narcissistic supply.





Regardless of their charm, their golden words and the favors they do for you, always remember that they are narcissists-----cold, calculating, ruthless, completely lack empathy, deceptive, clever liars, very secretive, exploitative.  If you get on their wrong side, watch out---they are filled with a roiling chasm of volcanic rage that never ends. They know how to wound and keep wounding you. Learn about covert narcissists in-depth. When you identify them, be fore warned. No matter how lovely, charming and magnetic they are---this is all a very convincing act. Keep you distance. You cannot have any kind of relationship with a covert narcissist.

Put the emphasis on your own psychological and spiritual (as you define it) development. Expand and deepen your creative gifts. You will find individuals who are not narcissists and are capable of deeply caring about and appreciating you as you are. Pay attention to your intuition---It is the source of truth. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com



Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissists-Seeking Pleasure and Escape-Causing You Pain

Narcissists are consummate pleasure seekers (Each narcissist defines his/her idea of pleasure). They are also escape artists. Bottom line---They are running to these diversions to escape from themselves. This is done on an unconscious level. Narcissists are extremely restless people, always plotting and planning their next business coup, the downfall of a competitor or bete noire, the seduction of a new romantic partner, an escape to a private paradise where no one, except their golden circle of admirers, can find them. Meanwhile if you have been married to a narcissist and are in the process of divorce or an ex, your life and your person have been deeply wounded psychologically during the years you have shared with him/her. The divorce battles are often the final blows that the narcissist inflicts on the man or woman who has become his prime enemy.

Some narcissists lead more than one life simultaneously. They "do a lot of business traveling" meaning they go on boondoggles and become intimately involved with co-workers. All of this is explained by the narcissist to the spouse as part of their legitimate professional roles. Some spouses accept these flimsy, see through excuses over decades. They cannot believe that their narcissistic spouse would ever betray them. This is tragic to be deceived over and over again. The emotional pain sustained by discovering each time that you spouse is lying again. I have known narcissistic spouses who are willing to overlook this reprehensible behavior because they are too intimidated by the narcissistic partner. They worry about the financial implications if the marriage is formally severed. I understand that we must be realistic and practical but staying married to a narcissist can cause extreme emotional and mental stress and in some cases, physical illness. Staying married to a narcissist is devastating to the children in the family. In some cases, one of them will follow in the footsteps of the narcissistic parent and become a narcissist. I hear from ex-spouses whose children have become narcissists due to the powerful influence of a narcissistic spouse. These life stories are very painful.

First, recognize that you spouse is a narcissistic personality disorder. There are many excellent sources for doing research into the narcissistic personality in-depth through books, blogs, video, etc. When you have identified this person as a narcissist, know that he or she is not going to change. This is a fixed disorder. The narcissist has no reason to change. Everything is going perfectly for him at everyone else's expense. If you are married to one, consider a divorce or separation.Do you homework, call upon your small loyal support group. Take good care of yourself. Do cardiovascular exercise, practice gentle yoga which calms the nervous system and clarifies the mind. Take a short period of time each day to meditate. Find the method that works best for you. Meditation steadies the mind and body and deepens the capacity for insight and intuition. Above all, recognize the value of your life and your uniqueness. You are entitled to live in peace with a strong sense of optimism about the present and future. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph..D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION:United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Raise Themselves and Their Siblings

There is an extra psychological burden placed on daughters of narcissistic mothers. If they are not the chosen child they are expected to be at the instant service of mother--day and night. Some narcissistic mothers think nothing of awakening their children even in the middle of the night if they want something or just need to vent. Their behaviors are often unpredictable and anxiety provoking to their children. Those outside the walls of the house, even those who are "close friends" of the family never have any idea of how sadistic and cruel these mothers are. Narcissistic mothers are incapable of psychological attachment to their daughters. They view them as animate objects to be used to fulfill their goals, especially to enhance their false image of being a good parent.
In many instances the oldest daughter raises the other children in the family. Some of these girls are as young as seven years old when the entire burden of taking care of the younger one is foisted on their small shoulders. I have been in communication with a number of daughters who had to take on this role. It is quite remarkable that a young girl could be capable of  this level of responsibility. These adult daughters say that they had no choice. They were there and carrying for the little ones was expected of them and they did all of the hard work. These little mothers were never praised. Rather the narcissistic mother found every opportunity to criticize her daughter at every turn. These daughters never had a childhood; they are forced to grow up too fast. Many of them had to work from early in the morning, taking care of the very young ones, getting them off to school, taking care of them when they arrived back home and tucking them into bed at night. Meals and baths and reading were all done by the daughter of the narcissistic mother. This is remarkable.

Adult daughters of narcissistic mothers have to deal with a double burden. They dealt with the coldness, deceptions, lies and unpredictability of a non-mother. There is the mother wound they have had to deal with throughout their lives. Some of these women did have aunts and grandmothers and the mothers of their friends who provided them with some nurturing and affection.

Many of these adult daughters of narcissistic mothers are loving mothers to their own children. Others decide not to have children. They have sustained too much emotional deprivation to consider having children of their own and repeat the process of raising them all over again. Daughters of narcissistic mothers are amazing survivors who deserve our deep respect. They have done everything possible to survive psychologically and have sustained their younger siblings despite the fact that they were children themselves. The power of perseverance and compassion in these individuals is inspiring. It renews our hope in human nature. To understand the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissistic Wonder Woman

Some narcissistic women fit in a category that I call the Wonder Woman. There is nothing she can't achieve. The narcissistic wonder woman is highly competitive. She will do and say anything to be number one. Some narcissistic wonder women have high metabolisms. They either feel very little pain or are masterful at concealing their pain. They have wills of iron. The narcissistic wonder woman has an impeccable external image that is constantly updated and refreshed using a variety of aesthetic procedures. The narcissistic wonder woman may appear to be slightly manic. She is restless, moving all of the time. They are not bi-polar disorders. She knows how to expertly wield the bejeweled axe on those who are obstacles on your upward trajectory. Think of the Atlantis rocket fully ignited on the launch pad. Are you going to get in front of this one--I don't think so.

If you are feeling weak, vulnerable, are incapable of empathy. They expect no complaints, no vulnerability and of course no tragedy.

The narcissist uses primitive unconscious projections to inflict pain on you.  These are defense mechanisms that are out of the narcissist's consciousness. If you have to deal with the narcissistic wonder woman, learn how to be psychologically detached. Developing a regular hatha yoga practice with emphasis on the breath will help you focus. Meditation, quieting the mind is another way of learning how to detach from the narcissist.

Learn to appreciate that you are real. You have genuine feelings. You are not a machine, an artiface.  You are authentic with many creative gifts. Go forward with your life and appreciate your individuality. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

How Many Ways Will You Be Recycled by the Narcissist

For thousands of years women have been used, abused, cycled and re-cycled by narcissistic men. They are girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, first wives, second wives, third wives, etc. ex-wives.  A narcissist will use you any time you are of benefit to him for varieties of reasons. Maybe you have access to money--your own or through your family. Are you highly visible socially and well connected. Do you have high prestige as a professional. Are you beautiful. Do you have a prominent family. Are you dependent on men and willing to do anything to make them happy---even compromising your entire life. I hear these stories all of the time and it is heartbreaking.

Narcissists are super exploiters---They don't have relationships with women--They use them to the hilt at every opportunity. Many woman know this but are beguiled by a particular narcissistic man and the lifestyle that he promises. Do you realizes that while he is slathering it on thick with you, he is thinking of several other women on whom he will use this same script. Yes it is like being in a play. Narcissists never take the feelings of others seriously. They don't care if you are hurt and abandoned. You---Unique You-- are easily replaceable to the narcissist. As long as he  looks great, is potent, feels money flush, and is turning heads and getting ahead and toppling others in business--that's all he cares about. This is the raw truth about the narcissist. Once you know this, take it to heart and spare yourself a lot of suffering.

Lead the life that you deserve. Choose a man who is up to your standards--someone capable of love, affection, emotional intimacy. Strengthen yourself so that you are not inclined to fall for this kind of infantile, selfish, deceitful man ever again. I wish you the very best. I have faith in you. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Covert Narcissists-Their Devious Traps and Snares

Covert narcissists on their game are so smooth, you don't realize you have been psychologically mugged until it is too late. The covert narcissist is a genius at putting you off guard. The conversation begins pleasantly. There are easy verbal exchanges at first. You become spontaneous with this person. You are on a roll and having a good time. Then, without any warning, come the precision cuts with a very sharp instrument the primitive projections of the the covert narcissist.

Different covert narcissists have perfected different styles for ambushing you and making you feel  worthless, incompetent, anxious,confused, unsure of yourself, emotionally hurt and ultimately very angry. There are who appear to ask innocent questions. They want to get to know you. You start to get comfortable with them. You let down your defenses. They start to ask personal questions beyond what kind of work do you do. How much do you make. What are the taxes on your house. How much did it cost to re-do your kitchen, how much money do you have in the bank,how are your stocks doing and which ones do you have, what are they worth, do you have any illnesses, are you divorced, single, between marriages, and on and on. It never stops. Covert narcissists have no psychological boundaries, no respected or awareness of the feelings of others.When they find a sore spot they probe more deeply. You are now becoming more and more uncomfortable and anxious but you feel compelled to answer them.You are afraid they will become angry with you. You are being overwhelmed by the force of their personality. They view themselves as supreme controllers. Your private information give them a feeling of power over you that they can use to manipulate your feelings.

Another covert narcissist style is the Humble Bragger. They are clever and subtle asking about how you are first. You tell them, believing that they are sincere. They have mastered the sincerity act. They seem to be humble, very interested in you. They offer you bouquets of compliments and hang on your every word. After you have revealed yourself, they go into their Can You Top This Mode. They brag about how much money they make, the important people they know personally and with whom they are connected both professionally and socially. One phone call will get them any job they want at the highest levels. They attend parties with the creme de la creme of the inner circles of the A list people. (These are usually Super Narcissists). With all of this bragging they are inflating themselves and clearly implying that you don't have anything of value to offer. They have flipped you over like a spider that can't make himself upright with all of his efforts. They leave you doubting yourself, feeling "less than" , frustrated with yourself and angry.
Learn to recognize these narcissists in disguise. They are very subtle. Most people don't recognize them. Be assertive with them. Don't answer their questions. You can say: I don't answer personal questions. Stick with your answer. Study the narcissistic personality disorder, recognizing that this is another version that you can learn to identify. Keep your distance from them if you can. If you have to interact with them, keep reminding yourself of who they really are -----They are worse than wolves in sheep's clothing. They can be downright diabolical.

Practice quieting the mind through meditation in the way that works best for you. Keep tuning into your intuition. This capacity will reveal their true nature to you. Practice gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath. Meditation develops clear mental discernment and detachment from toxic individuals. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Sociopathic Narcissists--Too Powerful to Be Held Accountable for Their Sexual Treacheries

In many ways we still live in a patriarchal society despite the tremendous inroads that provide equal opportunities in education and professional options to women not possible decades ago.

There are still some areas where narcissistic men are given a pass to do whatever they want.  Remember the phrase "too big to fail". We can say about these men that they are "too important and powerful to be held accountable for any of their actions, even serious crimes." Unfortunately, there are too many men and women who defend these narcissistic dangerous human beings. These exploiters are often high level sociopath narcissists in professional positions of the highest power. Many people revere them because of their amassed wealth, their global connections and influence and the real and palpable influence that they hold over others. Everyone wants to be on this man's team, by his side as a marital partner. Their followers are bathed in the unction that the world pours on them.

Some of these men have committed the horrendous crime of raping women. Yes---No one wants to talk about that one.Often sociopathic narcissists brutalize women whom they view as below their social, educational and economic class. They know that they can get away with the sexual assaults because the victims will be frightened to charge them and if charged they will experience ridicule and full frontal bombardment from the narcissist's defense dream team. They have defended sociopathic narcissists before and gotten most of them off---even on the most heinous charges.

Some of these men rape their wives for years. The victims speak out only to friends who will hold their dark secrets. They remain married to these husbands from hell because they feel worthless, powerless and don't want to disrupt the image of the family they believe they must uphold.

Woman and men who see through the delusion of the sociopathic narcissist must speak up on a variety of fronts: ethical, legal, social, moral, psychological. Identify and unmask the sociopathic narcissist. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book; Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissistic Mothers---Their Children are Narcissistic Supplies

The narcissistic mother, especially those who overpower their spouse and everyone in the household with the force of her will, treats her children like narcissistic supplies. Narcissistic mothers enhance their grandiosity and overblown sense of omnipotence by using their children to enhance their bloated egos and the elaborate false mask that they show the world. Most people outside of these highly dysfunctional homes would never guess or believe that these mothers are abusing their children. Some narcissistic mothers play their parts so well that other family members living outside the home believe their well rehearsed act. Narcissistic mothers often cast their children in different roles. Many choose a child who will become a perfect mirror of the narcissistic mother. The chosen child is often very bright, can be gifted musically, has athletic skills and is very attractive or pretty. Mother is entranced with this child. She has found the perfect vision of herself in this being to whom she has given birth. This child is adored by her over all of her other children. The others siblings are treated very differently. Often there is a sensitive kid who endures volumes of verbal abuse and assault to his person. She/he is told that she is ugly, can never measure up, is deficient, etc. This cruel theme is repeated daily to this child and has very negative effects on this individual's psyche. Even those who are "chosen" , though privileged and allowed to do whatever they want, including being cruel to their brothers and sisters, are forced to become a perfect clone of the mother. They are human puppets who must dance to her choreography---They are living narcissistic supplies.

Narcissistic mothers as they grow older continue these cruel practices, turn one child against the other, causing psychological chaos and emotional damage. Those who are victims of these non-mothers try to survive the best they can. Even into adulthood, victims of narcissistic mother's abuse are still suffering the tortures of childhood. At some point many of these adult children decide that they must sever this "relationship" with mother to reclaim their own lives and their unique selves. They stop contact with the narcissistic mother. They seek the support of others who understand their suffering and are there to comfort them and help them heal. Human beings are resilient when provided with good psychological nourishment. Many of these scapegoated children, free from the narcissistic mother gulag, discover their creative gifts, find that they are able to have deep loving relationships and find inner peace inside of themselves. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com