When you meet a narcissist---especially a very smooth attractive one--you would never guess that he/she is decimating his family---spouses, children, siblings, in-laws, grandparents, etc. Narcissists go viral. Their venom spreads out to every family member. There are some individuals who even as small children know that there is something very wrong with their mother or father, that this person is toxic to them. They keep their emotional distance from this person whom they are asked to call mother or father. Some family members survive by becoming invisible. As soon as they are able the spend long periods of time away from their home. Or they find hiding places in their rooms or outside. They learn how to avoid their own parent. The emotionally detach themselves from the narcissistic parent. In some cases there is an aunt or grandparent from whom they can get some of the warmth and love that they need and deserve.
Other family members--spouses and children--go along with the pathological thinking and behaviors of the narcissistic parent. They will tell you how much they love the narcissistic parent who is crushing them. They have never made a psychological separation from this poisonous person. Even in middle age, they are still holding on to a non-parent who has taken their lives away. They will not become separate individuals. Some children in the family are chosen to be the special ones who represent the narcissist's power, brilliance, talent, physical attractiveness and magnetism. Many consider them the lucky ones. They are treated like little gods but they are not real people. They are pariahs who are allowed to emotionally harm their siblings. They are raised to the heights by the parents and believe they are perfect and superior. They treat their siblings like dirt, lie about them, get them into serious trouble with the narcissistic parent, etc.
These dark narcissistic family patterns do not stop. Fortunately, there are a individuals within these families who grow up to be genuine, solid, kind and productive human beings. Your best offensive is to learn everything you can about the narcissistic personality. Are you about to marry a narcissist? Find out now before you take that fateful step. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Affairs with Narcissistic Men
Being seduced by a narcissistic man is not that uncommon. There are many life stories with unhappy endings that start with a major flirtation. The high level grandiose narcissistic man is irresistible. He gazes at you, won't take his eyes off of you. And that's only the beginning. There is a strong dynamic--a vibration that surrounds a powerful handsome male narcissist. It is very difficult for most women to say "no" to them. Some women fall so fast and hard that they are willing to risk their marriages and their children to be with this man.
At the start it is pure magic--a living fantasy that we don't want to disappear into a chimera. The narcissist becomes obsessed with seeing you and you keep saying yes. He promises you everything--including marriage and you keep saying yes. Then the time comes when he is contacting you less often, unresponsive to your texts. He says he is traveling and has a very heavy work load. You miss him but don't get it. He is finished with you; he has had his fun. Most likely he has found someone else for his favorite recreation---seducing women.
To protect yourself from these most tempting of men, do a lot of research on the narcissistic personality disorder. Study their character ---They have no empathy; they are deceptive, they are chronic liars; they exploit everyone; they are highly critical and self entitled. They are incapable of any emotional attachment of any kind. You will be grateful that you have done this work and discovered the true nature of the narcissist.
Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
At the start it is pure magic--a living fantasy that we don't want to disappear into a chimera. The narcissist becomes obsessed with seeing you and you keep saying yes. He promises you everything--including marriage and you keep saying yes. Then the time comes when he is contacting you less often, unresponsive to your texts. He says he is traveling and has a very heavy work load. You miss him but don't get it. He is finished with you; he has had his fun. Most likely he has found someone else for his favorite recreation---seducing women.
To protect yourself from these most tempting of men, do a lot of research on the narcissistic personality disorder. Study their character ---They have no empathy; they are deceptive, they are chronic liars; they exploit everyone; they are highly critical and self entitled. They are incapable of any emotional attachment of any kind. You will be grateful that you have done this work and discovered the true nature of the narcissist.
Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Narcissistic Psychotherapists Psychologically Endanger Patients
There are innumerable psychotherapists who are highly skilled, empathic, competent, professional and completely devoted to their clients.
This post is about narcissistic psychotherapists who have a severe personality disorder. They are highly educated with Master's and Doctorates and have completed extensive clinical training and practice. They may be experts in their area of specialty and highly respected by their colleagues. However, they have all of the attributes of the grandiose, ruthless, duplicitous, unempathic narcissistic personality. The major motivation for their practice is monetary and all of the narcissistic supplies that they collect: adulation, respect, perception as clinical experts, veneration by clients, etc.
Narcissistic psychotherapists victimize the most psychologically vulnerable of patients--those who are are so desperate that they cannot tolerate their emotional pain from one moment to the next. They have many kinds of psychological problems: severe anxiety, panic disorders, dissociative disorders, bi-polar disorder, severe clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc. These narcissistic clinicians are particularly focused on clients from whom they can extract the largest sums of money. Many of them frequently increase their fees to keep up with their personal lifestyles. When a client comes close to leaving them, they often scare them, saying: " We have done a lot of good work but you are still having a lot of symptoms and if you leave therapy now, your problems will become more severe. I don't think you want to take that kind of risk." The therapist has become a respected authority figure to the client, taking the place of the parent the client never had. If you are having anxiety attacks day and night or if you are so depressed that you cannot get out of bed without great difficulty or have frightening symptoms of extreme mood disorders, you are not likely to leave this therapist and go it alone. Narcissistic therapist know exactly how to reel you back in and reinforce their psychological and emotional hold on you. In the meantime you are not making any real progress and that works for this ruthless money driven therapist.
Patients who should have been referred to a competent clinical expert are taken on by these narcissistic clinicians who claim to understand their diagnosis and treatment. This is highly immoral and unethical but that doesn't matter to them. As long as they can get away with it and are prospering, that is all that matters.
I know of patients who have suffered emotional and psychological harm from these unscrupulous psychotherapists. Their conditions either don't change or become more severe. Protect yourself from these immoral and unethical practitioners. Research clinicians-- their professional reputations and make sure that you interview several of them. Having a referral from a friend or family member can be helpful, but even if a therapist is highly qualified, they may not be the right clinician for you personally. Take your time. Remember, you are hiring this person. You are in charge. Ask questions. If you get defensive or angry responses, this is a red flag. Never tell yourself that you can't know if a therapist is excellent or not. Use your intuition to lead the way. Be assertive and confident in yourself. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
This post is about narcissistic psychotherapists who have a severe personality disorder. They are highly educated with Master's and Doctorates and have completed extensive clinical training and practice. They may be experts in their area of specialty and highly respected by their colleagues. However, they have all of the attributes of the grandiose, ruthless, duplicitous, unempathic narcissistic personality. The major motivation for their practice is monetary and all of the narcissistic supplies that they collect: adulation, respect, perception as clinical experts, veneration by clients, etc.
Narcissistic psychotherapists victimize the most psychologically vulnerable of patients--those who are are so desperate that they cannot tolerate their emotional pain from one moment to the next. They have many kinds of psychological problems: severe anxiety, panic disorders, dissociative disorders, bi-polar disorder, severe clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc. These narcissistic clinicians are particularly focused on clients from whom they can extract the largest sums of money. Many of them frequently increase their fees to keep up with their personal lifestyles. When a client comes close to leaving them, they often scare them, saying: " We have done a lot of good work but you are still having a lot of symptoms and if you leave therapy now, your problems will become more severe. I don't think you want to take that kind of risk." The therapist has become a respected authority figure to the client, taking the place of the parent the client never had. If you are having anxiety attacks day and night or if you are so depressed that you cannot get out of bed without great difficulty or have frightening symptoms of extreme mood disorders, you are not likely to leave this therapist and go it alone. Narcissistic therapist know exactly how to reel you back in and reinforce their psychological and emotional hold on you. In the meantime you are not making any real progress and that works for this ruthless money driven therapist.
Patients who should have been referred to a competent clinical expert are taken on by these narcissistic clinicians who claim to understand their diagnosis and treatment. This is highly immoral and unethical but that doesn't matter to them. As long as they can get away with it and are prospering, that is all that matters.
I know of patients who have suffered emotional and psychological harm from these unscrupulous psychotherapists. Their conditions either don't change or become more severe. Protect yourself from these immoral and unethical practitioners. Research clinicians-- their professional reputations and make sure that you interview several of them. Having a referral from a friend or family member can be helpful, but even if a therapist is highly qualified, they may not be the right clinician for you personally. Take your time. Remember, you are hiring this person. You are in charge. Ask questions. If you get defensive or angry responses, this is a red flag. Never tell yourself that you can't know if a therapist is excellent or not. Use your intuition to lead the way. Be assertive and confident in yourself. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Narcissists Steal Your Creative Ideas
Narcissists are ravenous for new ideas and visions. If they can't conjure up one themselves, they will steal yours. They become intrigued with you if you have talent. With their charm and believable facade they convince you that you are fated to become an integral part of their corporate team. .
They cascade you with compliments. They treat you like royalty. It is dizzying and most people are fooled by this full court charm and adoration offensive. You start to trust them and share you creative plans with them. They convince you there is no need for formal contracts. After all you are now close friends and confidants and can trust one another implicitly. Your designs, apps, book concepts, etc. are laid out in full detail. The project is moving forward. Then there are some glitches. You can't get a hold of your friend and business partner. He has disappeared. Some time later you discover that your creative concepts have been commandeered and now have his label on them. You don't have the funds to fight him legally.He has betrayed you. Despite the pain of all of this and the economic loss, remember you have a unique creativity that is boundless. The lesson here is to always protect yourself, especially when you are dealing with a narcissist. Your intuitions will keep messaging you about this person. Pay attention. Make sure everything is in writing. If you don't have to do business with a narcissist, don't. If it is necessary, protect yourself legally at every step of the way. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website: the narcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
They cascade you with compliments. They treat you like royalty. It is dizzying and most people are fooled by this full court charm and adoration offensive. You start to trust them and share you creative plans with them. They convince you there is no need for formal contracts. After all you are now close friends and confidants and can trust one another implicitly. Your designs, apps, book concepts, etc. are laid out in full detail. The project is moving forward. Then there are some glitches. You can't get a hold of your friend and business partner. He has disappeared. Some time later you discover that your creative concepts have been commandeered and now have his label on them. You don't have the funds to fight him legally.He has betrayed you. Despite the pain of all of this and the economic loss, remember you have a unique creativity that is boundless. The lesson here is to always protect yourself, especially when you are dealing with a narcissist. Your intuitions will keep messaging you about this person. Pay attention. Make sure everything is in writing. If you don't have to do business with a narcissist, don't. If it is necessary, protect yourself legally at every step of the way. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website: the narcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Narcissistic Mothers,, Fathers, Spouses---Annihilating You
Annihilation is a strong word. It means complete destruction,m even death. In this case psychological demise.
Once you are no longer serving the narcissist's ego needs, you are of no use to him. If you are the child of a narcissist, you are constantly on guard for the next psychological ambush--the cruel words that cut to the core of your heart, the criticisms that humiliate and demean you, the actions that cause you constant shame, the endless, relentless behaviors--verbal and nonverbal----that are designed to make you feel worthless and the narcissist feel superior and triumphant. As a child you are a prisoner of the treacheries of the narcissistic parent. You have to survive so you go along with the psychological (and in some cases physical) blows that befall you every day. Mothers telling their daughters how ugly and shameful they look, mothers who scream over and over again that they should have aborted you, spouses that pick away at everything you do--"you are always making mistakes." What's wrong with you? I didn't realize how stupid you were"? " You embarrass me. You used to be attractive. Now you look like an aging ugly woman.?' These assaults never stop. They are meant to psychologically annihilate you. If you don't understand this truth, then you are putting yourself in continuing psychological danger and eclipsing your life. The narcissist is ruling you.
When we are adults we can make the decision to sever the relationship with narcissistic parents and spouses. Some children have been sufficiently deluded that they continue to see their parents or spouses as good people. They blame themselves.
Study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Wake up and preserve your unique individuality and the quality of your life. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Once you are no longer serving the narcissist's ego needs, you are of no use to him. If you are the child of a narcissist, you are constantly on guard for the next psychological ambush--the cruel words that cut to the core of your heart, the criticisms that humiliate and demean you, the actions that cause you constant shame, the endless, relentless behaviors--verbal and nonverbal----that are designed to make you feel worthless and the narcissist feel superior and triumphant. As a child you are a prisoner of the treacheries of the narcissistic parent. You have to survive so you go along with the psychological (and in some cases physical) blows that befall you every day. Mothers telling their daughters how ugly and shameful they look, mothers who scream over and over again that they should have aborted you, spouses that pick away at everything you do--"you are always making mistakes." What's wrong with you? I didn't realize how stupid you were"? " You embarrass me. You used to be attractive. Now you look like an aging ugly woman.?' These assaults never stop. They are meant to psychologically annihilate you. If you don't understand this truth, then you are putting yourself in continuing psychological danger and eclipsing your life. The narcissist is ruling you.
When we are adults we can make the decision to sever the relationship with narcissistic parents and spouses. Some children have been sufficiently deluded that they continue to see their parents or spouses as good people. They blame themselves.
Study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Wake up and preserve your unique individuality and the quality of your life. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Unrelenting Cruelties of Narcissistic Spouse
If you are waiting for your narcissistic husband to change after five months, five years, twenty years of marriage,you will be waiting forever.It is not going to happen. Your ex-spouse is not going to change either. In fact some narcissistic ex's get the bit in their mouths and make every effort to make your life more miserable. Immunize yourself---first by learning and studying everything you can about the narcissistic personality. Some narcissistic spouses find another partner and don't want to have anything to do with you. You are forgotten. Count your blessings. They are out of your life. Thank God. Some narcissistic spouses try to convince you that they have changed. It sounds good but this is another trick to pull you back in so they can control you. This is especially the case if you own your own home or homes, have built up your financial assets and have a very successful career. The narcissist takes free rides off of the lives of others. They are parasites, sucking at your energy, putting you back into fight or flight mode, keeping you from sleeping at night. Remember the brutalities you have experienced throughout the marriage. Keep this fresh in your mind.
For those who are sticking it out with narcissistic spouses, I say think of the quality of your life and if you have children , your parental obligation to be a very good parent by protecting them from these merciless, cunning vipers. The sooner you come to terms with the truth that your spouse is a narcissist and know you must sever the relationship the better off you will be. Doing this can be very challenging. But begin now. Make your preparations. Like a great fighter--a ninja--prepare, prepare, prepare. Don 't give a hint to anyone what you are planning to do. If you have a friend you can trust completely this will provide support. Some spouses are greatly helped by excellent therapists. Choose these professionals wisely.
Know that you will prevail, that you are strong and steady and that nothing will stop you from freeing your original self and your children from the narcissistic spouse. To learn about the NPD in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
For those who are sticking it out with narcissistic spouses, I say think of the quality of your life and if you have children , your parental obligation to be a very good parent by protecting them from these merciless, cunning vipers. The sooner you come to terms with the truth that your spouse is a narcissist and know you must sever the relationship the better off you will be. Doing this can be very challenging. But begin now. Make your preparations. Like a great fighter--a ninja--prepare, prepare, prepare. Don 't give a hint to anyone what you are planning to do. If you have a friend you can trust completely this will provide support. Some spouses are greatly helped by excellent therapists. Choose these professionals wisely.
Know that you will prevail, that you are strong and steady and that nothing will stop you from freeing your original self and your children from the narcissistic spouse. To learn about the NPD in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Narcissistic Sister Steals Your Husband
Your narcissistic sister plotted this series of moves for years. She was always attracted to your man and didn't make it a secret.She was provocative in his presence but you kept waving her behaviors off, saying to yourself that she was naive and immature. After you married and had two children,narcissistic sis leaves for an urban center corporate career. She marries and quickly divorces. For a few years she dates heavily, one man after the other. Then during a vacation she comes to visit you and your family. You are happy to see her and have forgotten her many past moves toward your spouse. You feel trusting and at ease with her. Yet there is a constant low level gnawing thought in your mind.She has exhibited many narcissistic traits in the past.She is unempathc, self absorbed,ruthless to win at all costs, lies with ease and is very charming.
Your narcissistic sister has come back for one reason only---to take what she wants the most--your husband. That thought nags at you but you wave it off--"that couldn't be possible." Remember,everything is possible with a narcissist. They lack conscience and shame. Within a few weeks of her visit your suspicions are verified. She is having an affair with the man you love under your roof. This is heartbreaking. Yes, it does take two to dance and he is very culpable but the narcissist always seems to get her way, even if it destroys a family. I tell this story because it happens too often. It is a warning that you cannot ever trust narcissistic family members--sharing DNA does not guarantee loyalty. First, protect yourself by researching the narcissistic personality in-depth. When you hear the voice of intuition warning you---ALWAYS LISTEN.
Many women have been betrayed in this atrocious way. It is unbearable but they have fought back.In many cases they work with this trauma and loss through excellent psychotherapy, sever the relationship with the narcissistic sister and move forward with their unique gifts to form relationships of trust and meaning. To learn about the narcissistic personality, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Your narcissistic sister has come back for one reason only---to take what she wants the most--your husband. That thought nags at you but you wave it off--"that couldn't be possible." Remember,everything is possible with a narcissist. They lack conscience and shame. Within a few weeks of her visit your suspicions are verified. She is having an affair with the man you love under your roof. This is heartbreaking. Yes, it does take two to dance and he is very culpable but the narcissist always seems to get her way, even if it destroys a family. I tell this story because it happens too often. It is a warning that you cannot ever trust narcissistic family members--sharing DNA does not guarantee loyalty. First, protect yourself by researching the narcissistic personality in-depth. When you hear the voice of intuition warning you---ALWAYS LISTEN.
Many women have been betrayed in this atrocious way. It is unbearable but they have fought back.In many cases they work with this trauma and loss through excellent psychotherapy, sever the relationship with the narcissistic sister and move forward with their unique gifts to form relationships of trust and meaning. To learn about the narcissistic personality, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Monday, August 13, 2012
Have You Had Enough Abuse from Narcissistic Mother
"How much more can I take?" You ask this question over and over again as you have for decades since you were a small child. Then you were so terrified you couldn't think. Even in school you were preoccupied with new frightening ways mom would find to punish you for something you hadn't done.She would make up your crimes and create your punishments.The days and nights were horrific. Many children of narcissistic mothers tell life stories of being like servants in their own homes. From the age of four or five they were forced to clean, sweep, even cook while listening to the screaming fits of their narcissistic mother. As an adult you still hear those ear splitting commands and the hand that comes so close to making you nose bloody. Sometimes it did and you wondered if there were any teeth missing. You remember how revolting your mother's face looked as she got closer to you. You shook with fear,sometimes wetting yourself.
Now as an adult you are still taking horrendous abuse in different forms from this she-devil excuse for a mother. What will it take to set yourself free. Do you care that your brothers and sisters defend her constantly.Do you care about getting access to her home and assets after she dies. Or do you want the life you never had. You are entitled to that and much more. First,learn everything you can about the narcissistic personality and read some of my blogs about the narcissistic mother (blog.thenarcissistinyourlife.com.Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation:United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Now as an adult you are still taking horrendous abuse in different forms from this she-devil excuse for a mother. What will it take to set yourself free. Do you care that your brothers and sisters defend her constantly.Do you care about getting access to her home and assets after she dies. Or do you want the life you never had. You are entitled to that and much more. First,learn everything you can about the narcissistic personality and read some of my blogs about the narcissistic mother (blog.thenarcissistinyourlife.com.Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation:United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Narcissistic Older Sister Rules the Household
One of the most pathological family constellations is one in which the narcissistic mother chooses one daughter as the perfect reflection of herself. From the beginning this daughter is given permission, even encouraged to take complete control over her brothers and sisters. This often includes treating them brutally both in front of the narcissistic mother and in secret. The siblings are traumatized from the time they are infants. She terrorizes them into submission. They will do and say whatever she demands. It gets to a point where her father is intimidated by her and in some cases he leaves the household permanently because he is psychologically weak and cannot deal with the situation any longer. He abandons his children to the sadistic cruelties of the narcissistic mother and in particular the demonic older narcissistic sister. Some of the victimized siblings develop post traumatic stress syndrome---they have been living in a gulag all of their lives.
Some children find a way out. They stay with friends. In some cases they are informally adopted by family members or parents of friends.They spend most of their time out of the line of fire.
This evil drama does not end when the narcissistic older sister grows up. She continues to taunt her siblings with constant put downs, searing criticisms and malicious lies and betrayals. If she can find a way to destroy one of her brother or sisters,she will. Although this narcissistic sister was given everything she wanted and more,she is always in a state of rage. Unconsciously, she despises herself and projects these feelings on to her siblings. If financial assets are substantial the narcissistic older sister will convince her "dear" aging narcissistic mother that should take over all of the decisions with regard to properties, investments, trusts and cash. This narcissistic daughter knows just how to ply her mother with the compliments, favors and promises to masterfully take complete charge of her financial decisions. Naturally, the mother lode of assets goes to the narcissistic older daughter. The other children are left with nothing and completely in the dark.
These scenarios are more common than you might think.
To lead the life you deserve and activate your boundless creativity,sever your relationship with narcissistic members.To learn about the NPD in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Some children find a way out. They stay with friends. In some cases they are informally adopted by family members or parents of friends.They spend most of their time out of the line of fire.
This evil drama does not end when the narcissistic older sister grows up. She continues to taunt her siblings with constant put downs, searing criticisms and malicious lies and betrayals. If she can find a way to destroy one of her brother or sisters,she will. Although this narcissistic sister was given everything she wanted and more,she is always in a state of rage. Unconsciously, she despises herself and projects these feelings on to her siblings. If financial assets are substantial the narcissistic older sister will convince her "dear" aging narcissistic mother that should take over all of the decisions with regard to properties, investments, trusts and cash. This narcissistic daughter knows just how to ply her mother with the compliments, favors and promises to masterfully take complete charge of her financial decisions. Naturally, the mother lode of assets goes to the narcissistic older daughter. The other children are left with nothing and completely in the dark.
These scenarios are more common than you might think.
To lead the life you deserve and activate your boundless creativity,sever your relationship with narcissistic members.To learn about the NPD in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Narcissists Age Disgracefully
It is very difficult for anyone to change---most of all the narcissist. This is a fixed, written in ancient stone personality disorder. The narcissist has defense mechanisms--massive denial, repression and primitive projection that are like barriers of steel. They cannot be penetrated. Once in a while you might see a glimmer of light but that is rare and fleeting. They immediately return to their grand delusions. As they grow older narcisssistic traits become more deeply ingrained. After all they have played this role all of their lives and succeeded in controlling others. Why would they have any motivation to change now? Narcissists have intimidated everyone around all of their lives and gotten their way. They have succeeded in a sense. With the narcissistic style of this current society all of the kudos they receive is not surprising. It is daunting that so many people look up to and are fooled by these individuals.
Narcissists do exactly what they want. Some narcissistic men find that even into their six, seven or eight decades on earth that it is time to have a child with a woman who is many times younger than one of his older children. This boggles many minds but the narcissist pursues his goal. There is no concern that this baby who will be produced in the young womb of his new wife will know a father who is a very old man. That doesn't matter to the narcissist. What is essential is the ultimate narcissistic supply of the moment: "Let's have a baby!" This sounds like:"Let's buy a new house or a fancy new car." But to have another human being that arises from your seed is the ultimate narcissistic supply. I find this both irresponsible and nauseating. But not eye popping for a superannuated narcissistic man. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Narcissists do exactly what they want. Some narcissistic men find that even into their six, seven or eight decades on earth that it is time to have a child with a woman who is many times younger than one of his older children. This boggles many minds but the narcissist pursues his goal. There is no concern that this baby who will be produced in the young womb of his new wife will know a father who is a very old man. That doesn't matter to the narcissist. What is essential is the ultimate narcissistic supply of the moment: "Let's have a baby!" This sounds like:"Let's buy a new house or a fancy new car." But to have another human being that arises from your seed is the ultimate narcissistic supply. I find this both irresponsible and nauseating. But not eye popping for a superannuated narcissistic man. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Narcissists Judge You by Your Image
Narcissists live in a world of complete delusion. They have no interest in the truth,the essence or the meaning of anything in life, including themselves or other people. Image is their reality. If you marry one of these deluded individual, they have picked you as a narcissistic supply,someone who will make them look good. Their spouses are usually very attractive physically and have other advantages--high social status and a high monetary assets or a high professional profile. If they are gorgeous to boot, all the better. When you meet a narcissist he is assessing what you can do for him or not. If you don't meet the cut you will be dismissed. I'll never forget meeting a very prominent physician. I was making an attempt to thank him for a referral he had made. He took one dismissive look at me, raised his head and moved swiftly through a nearby doorway. I had obviously not meet with his specifications. I was astounded then quickly reminded myself that I could never be source of his narcissistic supply. How rude! But this is to be expected with an individual with this severe personality disorder.
If you married a narcissist you finally divorced him, you look back and remember all of the times he tried to improve your looks---you must have breast augmentation, a mini face lift, rhinoplasty to produce a perfect classic Grecian nose, a fuller mouth and poreless skin. Some spouses do complete makeovers on their spouses. Some narcissists are obsessed with the perfection of their homes and everything in them. They will not have any possession that is imperfect. They spend large amounts of money and time creating showplaces that are over the top to impress everyone who will visit.
The narcissist is completely external. He is not interested in the content of your character. He is fascinated with what you can do for him. He is a master of exploitation and will take everything from you that he can use to make himself more superior and powerful. Many partners of these dreadful individuals finally decide they can take it no more and divorce them.They are tired of the volcanic rages, the chronic lying, the humiliations. After their permanent severance from the narcissist they are free to lead their own lives. I hear many life stories of success and new found creativity. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
If you married a narcissist you finally divorced him, you look back and remember all of the times he tried to improve your looks---you must have breast augmentation, a mini face lift, rhinoplasty to produce a perfect classic Grecian nose, a fuller mouth and poreless skin. Some spouses do complete makeovers on their spouses. Some narcissists are obsessed with the perfection of their homes and everything in them. They will not have any possession that is imperfect. They spend large amounts of money and time creating showplaces that are over the top to impress everyone who will visit.
The narcissist is completely external. He is not interested in the content of your character. He is fascinated with what you can do for him. He is a master of exploitation and will take everything from you that he can use to make himself more superior and powerful. Many partners of these dreadful individuals finally decide they can take it no more and divorce them.They are tired of the volcanic rages, the chronic lying, the humiliations. After their permanent severance from the narcissist they are free to lead their own lives. I hear many life stories of success and new found creativity. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Sadistic Narcissistic Husbands Take Revenge
I know of a number of cases, especially during custody disputes when the narcissistic husband (or wife) turns sadistic and gains pleasure and narcissistic supplies by threatening to take your children away from you. In some instances he succeeds because he has the financial resources and the charm and persuasiveness to persuade mediators and judges that he is the better parent. This man or woman doesn't give a damn about the welfare of his children. He is out for revenge because he gets pleasure from watching you suffer. That is the definition of a sadist. He is seen as the "good father". He spreads lies about you and may even turn your family members against you.
Arm yourself with as much information as you can about the narcissistic personality. You cannot know enough. Make sure that you have a very savvy attorney who can go up against the narcissist. He will have hired a barracuda of a lawyer who is out for blood.
If you know early that your spouse is a narcissist you may want to end the marriage there before you have children. Being married is one thing---having children is another. Having children with a sadistic narcissist is putting the welfare of your children in jeopardy. If this has already happened, take heart and go into battle fully armed, knowing that you are going to win.Take good care of yourself as well.Form a close knit support group.You can do this. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Arm yourself with as much information as you can about the narcissistic personality. You cannot know enough. Make sure that you have a very savvy attorney who can go up against the narcissist. He will have hired a barracuda of a lawyer who is out for blood.
If you know early that your spouse is a narcissist you may want to end the marriage there before you have children. Being married is one thing---having children is another. Having children with a sadistic narcissist is putting the welfare of your children in jeopardy. If this has already happened, take heart and go into battle fully armed, knowing that you are going to win.Take good care of yourself as well.Form a close knit support group.You can do this. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Friday, August 3, 2012
Men Addicted to Narcissistic Women
There are men who become victims of gorgeous narcissistic women more times than you can count. It's the look,the sexual chemistry,the promise that she is yours forever, the fantasy of having(possessing)the perfect woman.This is a psychologically dangerous behavioral and emotional repetition. These men can't say "No" to the narcissistic woman in their lives. They give her an unlimited credit card and she uses it to the hilt. They take her on luxurious trips and she wants more.They buy her homes. They will do anything to keep her happy. Narcissistic women cannot be "happy:". Deep inside, they hate themselves but are expressing these toxic feelings by projecting them on to you. And you take it time after time. How long are you willing to stay on this dizzying merry-go-round? When one narcissistic woman discards them, they move on to the next with painful results. God help the man that marries one of these merciless vixens. One of their ploys is to immediately get pregnant (especially if you are a man of means) and lock you in with a child. She doesn't give a damn about her baby. This is a big insurance policy and you and your assets are the payoff.
You know how miserable you are. You can't sleep. You are terrified that she will leave you. You wait for her texts and phone calls. She disappears and you become despondent. What kind of life is this? This woman is controlling your emotions 24/7. First, research the narcissistic personality. When you clearly recognize whom the woman of your dreams is, you have a decision to make. She is not going to change.
It is decision time. Will you stay with her and continue the pathological pattern with other women or will you choose to lead your life, taking your own initiative, honoring yourself, not being controlled and demeaned.
High quality psychotherapy can be very helpful in dealing with the process of separating from your narcissistic woman and changing this pattern. Do your homework and interview several therapists. Re-occupy your healthy sense of entitlement. Reclaim your inner peace. Renew deep inside that you deserve reciprocal love.
To learn about the narcissist in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
You know how miserable you are. You can't sleep. You are terrified that she will leave you. You wait for her texts and phone calls. She disappears and you become despondent. What kind of life is this? This woman is controlling your emotions 24/7. First, research the narcissistic personality. When you clearly recognize whom the woman of your dreams is, you have a decision to make. She is not going to change.
It is decision time. Will you stay with her and continue the pathological pattern with other women or will you choose to lead your life, taking your own initiative, honoring yourself, not being controlled and demeaned.
High quality psychotherapy can be very helpful in dealing with the process of separating from your narcissistic woman and changing this pattern. Do your homework and interview several therapists. Re-occupy your healthy sense of entitlement. Reclaim your inner peace. Renew deep inside that you deserve reciprocal love.
To learn about the narcissist in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Children of Narcissistic Mothers are Ego Supplies Only
Whether they are very successful business women or stay at home "mothers" narcissistic women are incapable of mothering. It is tragic that so many of them have had children. I am making this statement as a result of my clinical knowledge of the psychic structure of the narcissist. The narcissistic woman who becomes a "mother" cannot fulfill this role. In some cases these women don't become mothers and that is very fortunate. Especially at this time---Not every woman must become a mother--especially if this person is not going to be capable of making a secure loving attachment to her child. Lack of attachment, anxious attachment and disturbed attachment will have a profound negative on the child's psyche.
For the narcissistic woman, giving birth to a child is a great narcissistic supply. If she is a professional, climbing the heights, there area extra bonuses--She does it all! No, that is not the case. If she stays home as the "devoted mother", then her life revolves around her dear children and the home. Not the case again. Remember, this is a narcissist. Having a child and children raises the narcissistic mother to another level. This creates an indelible image in the minds of others. Her children are so perfect; she is so loving; the family is wonderful. This is all fiction and delusion. The photographs with the smiles and perfect background don't tell the tale. The real stories come from the women with whom I have communicated who tell me about the horrors of their life histories as daughters of narcissistic mothers. The cruelties, deprivations, insensitivities, dismissive coldness and treacheries are immeasurable. Many of these daughters slowly heal but it is a difficult and long road they travel. These women deserve our respect. They have prevailed over their highly disturbed, malicious, envious narcissistic "mothers." To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
For the narcissistic woman, giving birth to a child is a great narcissistic supply. If she is a professional, climbing the heights, there area extra bonuses--She does it all! No, that is not the case. If she stays home as the "devoted mother", then her life revolves around her dear children and the home. Not the case again. Remember, this is a narcissist. Having a child and children raises the narcissistic mother to another level. This creates an indelible image in the minds of others. Her children are so perfect; she is so loving; the family is wonderful. This is all fiction and delusion. The photographs with the smiles and perfect background don't tell the tale. The real stories come from the women with whom I have communicated who tell me about the horrors of their life histories as daughters of narcissistic mothers. The cruelties, deprivations, insensitivities, dismissive coldness and treacheries are immeasurable. Many of these daughters slowly heal but it is a difficult and long road they travel. These women deserve our respect. They have prevailed over their highly disturbed, malicious, envious narcissistic "mothers." To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
You Win the Gold Medal--Divorced a Narcissist
Those who move forward despite all of the strum and drang, the intimidations, tricks, ploys, ambushes, etc. involved in moving through the rocky road through a divorce with a narcissistic spouse win the gold medal. This is one of the most difficult passages on your journey to end your relationship with a narcissistic personality. As you know they try and execute every trick, lie, ruse, fear tactics in the book. Some narcissists are so creatively cruel they have written their own books. You have stood up and been undaunted despite all of the onslaughts. You have kept faith in yourself. You have out fought and out witted the narcissist. You have spent many days and nights studying the narcissistic personality and it has paid off. You have learned to be in command of yourself. You now know who you really are---a strong, steady genuine individual who cannot be defeated no matter what. You are free now to pursue your life, to use all of your creative gifts and visions, to manifest the original self--the person you were born to be. Celebrate--lift your arms in victory. Let your heart open and smile. You are victorious. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Narcissistic Relatives Cannot be Trusted
You have heard the expression that blood is thicker than water--that our "kin" is closer to us than anyone else because we share the same DNA and family history. This is not the case, especially when we grow up in a family of narcissists. If you were raised in this type of pathological family constellation, you knew early that your mother, father, siblings, etc. were not on your side. You knew that you would be betrayed if you dared to share confidences with them. You could not depend on your narcissistic mother to nurture, protect or care about you. Your siblings were highly competitive against you. These young narcissists saw you as weak and inferior and treated you in kind. There are innumerable life stories of brutal childhoods that the victims of narcissistic family members endure.
Narcissistic relatives pull the rug out from under us as often as possible. They absolutely can't be trusted. You may think you know them--even a mother or father or spouse but they have secret agendas. They make empty promises, drawing you in to believe in them. The time comes and they revoke what they have sworn they would do. They make excuses; they tell you there was a misunderstanding and you were wrong. They accuse you of fabrications. Narcissists live in total delusion of their own making They never deal with the truth.
To protect yourself, study the narcissistic personality in-depth. You will discover some family members in all the pages of your reading. Pay close attention to your intuition. It will always tell you the truth. Believe in your perceptions and know that your narcissistic relatives will never change. You cannot have genuine relationships with them. You will form other relationships that are meaningful. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissitinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Narcissistic relatives pull the rug out from under us as often as possible. They absolutely can't be trusted. You may think you know them--even a mother or father or spouse but they have secret agendas. They make empty promises, drawing you in to believe in them. The time comes and they revoke what they have sworn they would do. They make excuses; they tell you there was a misunderstanding and you were wrong. They accuse you of fabrications. Narcissists live in total delusion of their own making They never deal with the truth.
To protect yourself, study the narcissistic personality in-depth. You will discover some family members in all the pages of your reading. Pay close attention to your intuition. It will always tell you the truth. Believe in your perceptions and know that your narcissistic relatives will never change. You cannot have genuine relationships with them. You will form other relationships that are meaningful. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissitinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
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