Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers-Learning to Mother Yourself

Daughters of narcissistic mothers have a great challenge in their lives. Many of them don't realize that their mothers are narcissistic until they are adults themselves. Many daughters knew right away that mother was cold and distant, not hugable, didn't pay real attention to them, was preoccupied with her own life and that was all that mattered, was too psychologically fused with her husband to make room for her and the other children. These daughters go through a tremendous ordeal recognizing and then struggling to redefine themselves as individuals who are authentic and separate. I have communicated with many daughters who have prevailed and have re-found their true selves. This is a great victory.

Adult daughters of narcissistic mothers can go through a process of healing, a time of individuating from the narcissistic mother. There is a psychological blooming that takes place. One of the first steps is acknowledging that you deserve to be treated with respect and empathy. Another is self care, rediscovering your creative gifts, learning to still the mind through meditation, gentle yoga and other practices that foster inner peace. Finding your own expression of creativity in the form that appeals to your inclinations is very freeing, especially for daughters of narcissistic mothers who were so controlling and manipulative. Along the way, nurture true friendships of trust that are reciprocal. A deep authentic friendship helps us to see our inner and outer world in a new way and to nourish ourselves. Practice the art of becoming less judgmental. Enjoy your spontaneity and the uses of the imagination as well as your delightful sense of humor. Humor saves us every time. Visit my website: 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: and amazon kindle edition

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