A common pattern is for adult children who have been psychologically abused who meet and are swept away by the narcissist, become emotionally malleable in their hands like a piece of clay. For many who become their victims, they play the role of the narcissist's shadow. They mirror the narcissist perfectly, constantly providing praise and adulation to enhance his ego, are willing to do anything the narcissist demands. In exchange many of them are treated to a sterling life style, high level social connections and material largesse. In exchange for their individuality, their solid sense of self, use of their creative gifts, freedom to make their own decisions and to think their own thoughts without disruption, they are now lost in the narcissist's shadow. Many of these spouses never come into the light or psychologically separate from the narcissist. They are trapped in a state of delusion and emotional fusion with their spouse. They are frozen in time. They have stopped their opportunity to grow, expand and become a separate authentic human being.
If you understand the narcissistic personality in detail and study these individuals with care, you will recognize them early and not become entangled with them. If you have to deal with them, you will remain separate from them psychologically, respecting your own boundaries and treating yourself with entitled respect. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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