Narcissists live in a world of complete delusion. They have no interest in the truth,the essence or the meaning of anything in life, including themselves or other people. Image is their reality. If you marry one of these deluded individual, they have picked you as a narcissistic supply,someone who will make them look good. Their spouses are usually very attractive physically and have other advantages--high social status and a high monetary assets or a high professional profile. If they are gorgeous to boot, all the better. When you meet a narcissist he is assessing what you can do for him or not. If you don't meet the cut you will be dismissed. I'll never forget meeting a very prominent physician. I was making an attempt to thank him for a referral he had made. He took one dismissive look at me, raised his head and moved swiftly through a nearby doorway. I had obviously not meet with his specifications. I was astounded then quickly reminded myself that I could never be source of his narcissistic supply. How rude! But this is to be expected with an individual with this severe personality disorder.
If you married a narcissist you finally divorced him, you look back and remember all of the times he tried to improve your looks---you must have breast augmentation, a mini face lift, rhinoplasty to produce a perfect classic Grecian nose, a fuller mouth and poreless skin. Some spouses do complete makeovers on their spouses. Some narcissists are obsessed with the perfection of their homes and everything in them. They will not have any possession that is imperfect. They spend large amounts of money and time creating showplaces that are over the top to impress everyone who will visit.
The narcissist is completely external. He is not interested in the content of your character. He is fascinated with what you can do for him. He is a master of exploitation and will take everything from you that he can use to make himself more superior and powerful. Many partners of these dreadful individuals finally decide they can take it no more and divorce them.They are tired of the volcanic rages, the chronic lying, the humiliations. After their permanent severance from the narcissist they are free to lead their own lives. I hear many life stories of success and new found creativity. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life