Greed is an unrelenting craving in the mind and gut to have more. It is substance abuse--the substance of possessions, lifestyle, luxury obsession, great extended pleasure escapes, monetary hoarding, incessant unquenchable desire for material things. Greed and psychological emptiness ride side by side in the narcissistic personality.
Greed often originates from early maternal deprivation. When a child is not able to psychologically bond with his mother, there is a lack of connection that is profound. This void of attachment follows the baby, child and adult throughout his life. Children suffer the negative effects of not having a real mother who pays close attention to them, is emotionally available, present to comfort them when they are in need, to encourage their efforts and reward them with praise. Greed grows in many individuals who feel like they are "not enough" as a result of early emotional and psychological deprivation. The budding and full grown narcissist substitutes the seeking and possession of objects of desire for the painful emptiness he unconsciously feels as a result of this deprivation. Hoarding is often a part of this cycle. Those who are operating out of extreme greed can never have enough. The restless emptiness inside cannot be satisfied with objects. They are distracting and beautiful and can be thrilling but eventually the need for more arises once again. There are individuals who have too many possessions but cannot stop themselves from wanting, pursuing and getting more. They can never be satisfied because the deep need is psychological and the damage occurred early. The greedy narcissist is consciously unaware of this dynamic. Friends and family praise the narcissist for his professional and financial successes. These are the narcissistic supplies that feed him. But again, the "need" arises once more and the narcissist must seek out some material fix or experience that will satiate his desire to have whatever he craves and desires.
The narcissist collects people whom he lures and possesses. He/she marries unsuspecting individuals who don't understand the trap they have entered. The doors close behind them and they are in for a choppy, cruel ride. Trying to fill a narcissist's psychological emptiness, become the receptacle of his/her corrosive rage and intimadations is too much to bear. The spouse, adult child or sibling on the receiving end of these severe
abuses must decide if they respect themselves and are entitled as a human being to sever this relationship with someone so pathological even if it is a family member by marriage or birth. The narcissist will always find others to feed on, to humiliate, to be his servants. Go your own way; gather your deep strengths, know that you can rediscover and re-activate your own life. Acknowledge your special gifts of creativity, your loving heart and the forward trajectory of your life that is waiting for you to say: Yes!!!!! Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life