Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn early that something vital is missing from their lives. They may live in a household that appears to be normal. Everything is organized. The children are fed and kept safe. But where is the affection and warmth that they need so desperately from their mother. That is the missing piece that causes such horrible distress to each daughter of a narcissistic mother. In some instances the father is able to compensate for the mother's lack of understanding and empathy. He is warm; he listens; he keeps his promises. He plays with his children and listens to them. Some daughters have aunts who take on the role of mother or even a grandmother or grandfather. There are some daughters who have to depend on themselves. Some of these children know very early that they must fend for themselves and they do this with great courage. This takes place against the barrage of criticisms, sarcastic remarks and dismissiveness of the narcissistic non-mother. These daughters become intellectually independent very young. Despite all of their efforts and accomplishments, the narcissistic mother wound is still there.
Adult daughters long to heal. In communications with some of these brave women I hear that they have taken their own pathway. Some have benefited from quality psychotherapy. Others find inner peace and a sense of belonging in a consistent practice of meditation. They discover that as the mind is quieted they get in touch with the deep inner loving part of themselves and feel their own warmth and compassion. This is a powerful process that transcends who we had as a mother or father. As meditation deepens as a practice it can become a pathway toward deep inner healing. Gentle hatha yoga is an excellent companion practice with meditation. Here the emphasis is on the breath. Focusing on the breath in the moment as each pose is done, quiets the nervous system, focuses the mind and gets you in touch with that serene vibration of love within you. This is who you really are. Embrace yourself. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Widely distributed
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Narcissistic Sociopaths in High Places
There is a term that describes certain kinds of individuals who are very successful in the world, have many admirers if not adorers, have access to social/business connections we might all envy whom I call bloodless sociopaths. I use this term because they are without conscience, completely lack empathy, are among the cruelest and sadistic human beings but literally don't draw blood. They commit numerous crimes throughout their lives and don't get caught. That's how well they have mastered their act. Often they have a high intelligence quotient and have achieved superlative marks throughout their schooling. From the time they are very young these sociopaths know that they are superior to everyone, including their parents, that there isn't anything they can't do or have. The world and people in it exist to be manipulated by them.
With the narcissistic style taking over much of our world today and becoming fully acceptable---self absorption, obsession with appearance, being in the A list social circles, coldness and disdain for those outside of this magic bubble---it becomes easier for the sociopath to move in and out of business and social circles undetected as a dreadful human being. We have narcissistic sociopaths who run some of our prestigious corporations. We have some members of the branches of government who fit this definition. When you look at some of the dirty deal making that takes place, the rip-offs of those who are without power or money, and the pure greed involved you find that many in the corporate, entrepreneurial, entertainment, media and government that fit this definition. No one wants to talk about sociopaths in high places. Most people have a problem believing that a person with such prestige and power who is given the highest respect and deference and even lionized could be so predatory.
Their family members may not be aware of their levels of criminality. They have become so deluded and accustomed to leading privileged lives that they close their eyes to anything that disrupts the perfect insular world they have created. There are plenty of spouses and children of narcissistic sociopaths who will tell you horror stories about their private lives. Family members describe themselves as prisoners, unable to make their own decisions, forced to follow their parent(s) commands to the letter. They view ugly violent scenes between their parents that are re-enacted frequently and put them in a chronic state of anxiety and apprehension. Spouses who willfully stay married to these reprehensible individuals put the lives of their children in psychological and emotional jeopardy. If you are the spouse of one of these individuals and finally recognize all of the damage that has been done, wake up and prepare to sever these pathological relationships if not for yourself for your children.
Narcissism and sociopathy in its bloodless form are becoming more acceptable in the society at large. You don't notice many high level narcissists doing perp walks or losing court cases when they are clearly guilty or going out of business because they have been defrauding their business partners and clients for years.
To protect yourself, study the narcissistic personality disorder and the narcissistic sociopath so that you recognize them quickly and know exactly how they operate. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, numerous online bookstores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
With the narcissistic style taking over much of our world today and becoming fully acceptable---self absorption, obsession with appearance, being in the A list social circles, coldness and disdain for those outside of this magic bubble---it becomes easier for the sociopath to move in and out of business and social circles undetected as a dreadful human being. We have narcissistic sociopaths who run some of our prestigious corporations. We have some members of the branches of government who fit this definition. When you look at some of the dirty deal making that takes place, the rip-offs of those who are without power or money, and the pure greed involved you find that many in the corporate, entrepreneurial, entertainment, media and government that fit this definition. No one wants to talk about sociopaths in high places. Most people have a problem believing that a person with such prestige and power who is given the highest respect and deference and even lionized could be so predatory.
Their family members may not be aware of their levels of criminality. They have become so deluded and accustomed to leading privileged lives that they close their eyes to anything that disrupts the perfect insular world they have created. There are plenty of spouses and children of narcissistic sociopaths who will tell you horror stories about their private lives. Family members describe themselves as prisoners, unable to make their own decisions, forced to follow their parent(s) commands to the letter. They view ugly violent scenes between their parents that are re-enacted frequently and put them in a chronic state of anxiety and apprehension. Spouses who willfully stay married to these reprehensible individuals put the lives of their children in psychological and emotional jeopardy. If you are the spouse of one of these individuals and finally recognize all of the damage that has been done, wake up and prepare to sever these pathological relationships if not for yourself for your children.
Narcissism and sociopathy in its bloodless form are becoming more acceptable in the society at large. You don't notice many high level narcissists doing perp walks or losing court cases when they are clearly guilty or going out of business because they have been defrauding their business partners and clients for years.
To protect yourself, study the narcissistic personality disorder and the narcissistic sociopath so that you recognize them quickly and know exactly how they operate. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, numerous online bookstores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Covert Narcissist--Don't Let Him "Get the Drop on You"
There's an old expression about letting someone get the drop on you. Your enemy is waiting for you in the dark in your favorite chair as you innocently enter your apartment, thinking you are alone. He's patient; he knows your schedule. He has accessed your apartment several times before this evening without leaving a clue. This isn't a scene from a Dean Koontz novel. This is real life. A feeling of dread snakes up your spine and adrenaline rushes thunder through your body. These are the feelings we get when we are suddenly confronted by a covert narcissist.
In the beginning we didn't know he/she was psychologically dangerous. He appeared as a friend, even a confidante, like a member of your family--someone who can be completely trusted. Covert narcissists are talented at getting into people's heads. They know your deepest needs and vulnerabilities, even your secrets (despite their complete lack of self insight or the capacity for introspection). Some convert narcissists play the role of at your service servants. They are your 24/7 rescuers. They have come to save you from a painful dark period in your life. You have confided in them (They appear to be great listeners) and they are at your side ready to do anything that will ease your pain. This is their MO. It works so smoothly. They customize their style to fit each individual they will corner in their web. In the beginning phases the covert narcissist is there with the surprise gift, the "comfort" phone call, the art print you've dreamed about.
All the time they're working you. You've been psychologically anesthetized. As the "relationship" gets closer you trust this individual more. If it's a romantic relationship, it won't take long to become a marriage. The covert narcissist has already checked you out thoroughly and knows you are his solid gold ticket to a much better life. Some covert narcissists bring you along to become members of their elite circle. You have high level connections, talents, a great resume---a pedigree that reflects perfectly on the narcissist's self image.
Eventually the dark side of the covert narcissist is revealed in all of its putrid ugliness. You find them picking away at you. Then all of a sudden they lunge for a frontal verbal attack. You can't believe this is the person whom you love and trust. You are confused and hurt. Maybe it is your fault: they are having a bad day; you need to be more understanding---None of the above. This is a covert narcissist who has finally bared his canines and is taking a bite out of you. Feel the pain and know this is not fiction. The narcissistic core is now fully exposed and you are on the receiving end of highly primitive toxic projections. It is better to cut your losses now than to try to convince yourself that this is some fluke and this individual can be changed. Narcissistic personality is a fixed disorder that does not change. Narcissists even covert narcissists beneath the phony humility and pseudo empathy are completely devoted to themselves, what they can get from you, take from you----no matter what harm it causes. They are as ruthless and treacherous as their grandiose cousins.
Research and study the narcissistic personality disorder so that you learn to recognize them quickly. If someone comes on too treacly, too 24/7 at your service, pay attention to what is going on beneath the surface. If you are in a vulnerable emotional state---be especially self protective. If necessary research and find an excellent therapist who can help you through this painful cycle. Check out several therapists if necessary. There are therapists who are narcissists. Use your intuition in choosing the right professional. The practice of gentle yoga, meditation in a form that works for you (meditations can be short 1-2-3 minutes) and other healing practices. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, very well distributed online
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
In the beginning we didn't know he/she was psychologically dangerous. He appeared as a friend, even a confidante, like a member of your family--someone who can be completely trusted. Covert narcissists are talented at getting into people's heads. They know your deepest needs and vulnerabilities, even your secrets (despite their complete lack of self insight or the capacity for introspection). Some convert narcissists play the role of at your service servants. They are your 24/7 rescuers. They have come to save you from a painful dark period in your life. You have confided in them (They appear to be great listeners) and they are at your side ready to do anything that will ease your pain. This is their MO. It works so smoothly. They customize their style to fit each individual they will corner in their web. In the beginning phases the covert narcissist is there with the surprise gift, the "comfort" phone call, the art print you've dreamed about.
All the time they're working you. You've been psychologically anesthetized. As the "relationship" gets closer you trust this individual more. If it's a romantic relationship, it won't take long to become a marriage. The covert narcissist has already checked you out thoroughly and knows you are his solid gold ticket to a much better life. Some covert narcissists bring you along to become members of their elite circle. You have high level connections, talents, a great resume---a pedigree that reflects perfectly on the narcissist's self image.
Eventually the dark side of the covert narcissist is revealed in all of its putrid ugliness. You find them picking away at you. Then all of a sudden they lunge for a frontal verbal attack. You can't believe this is the person whom you love and trust. You are confused and hurt. Maybe it is your fault: they are having a bad day; you need to be more understanding---None of the above. This is a covert narcissist who has finally bared his canines and is taking a bite out of you. Feel the pain and know this is not fiction. The narcissistic core is now fully exposed and you are on the receiving end of highly primitive toxic projections. It is better to cut your losses now than to try to convince yourself that this is some fluke and this individual can be changed. Narcissistic personality is a fixed disorder that does not change. Narcissists even covert narcissists beneath the phony humility and pseudo empathy are completely devoted to themselves, what they can get from you, take from you----no matter what harm it causes. They are as ruthless and treacherous as their grandiose cousins.
Research and study the narcissistic personality disorder so that you learn to recognize them quickly. If someone comes on too treacly, too 24/7 at your service, pay attention to what is going on beneath the surface. If you are in a vulnerable emotional state---be especially self protective. If necessary research and find an excellent therapist who can help you through this painful cycle. Check out several therapists if necessary. There are therapists who are narcissists. Use your intuition in choosing the right professional. The practice of gentle yoga, meditation in a form that works for you (meditations can be short 1-2-3 minutes) and other healing practices. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, very well distributed online
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Friday, August 19, 2011
Married to a Narcissist---Is is Worth Your Psychological and Mental Health
Most women and men are unaware that they have married narcissists. These individuals are so clever at disguising their dark side in the beginning. We fall in love with their facade--an elaborate mask of charm, magnetism, brightness, optimism--that lifts us up and makes us believe in magic. Before the marriage there may be hints of the true personality lying beneath the surface---flashes of temper, drumbeats of criticisms here and there, misstatements rather than the truth. Under the powerful sway of the narcissist these significant clues are overlooked. The marriage takes place and for a while it seems to be working. Then the emblematic narcissistic traits come to the surface. Classic narcissistic rage (over non-issues) bubbles forth and spews out onto the spouse. Many spouses automatically blame themselves rather than looking at the narcissist's inappropriate behavior. Then, the spouse becomes more and more aware of the narcissist's chronic lying. Catching a partner in lies is exceedingly painful each time it happens. The narcissist covers with another more convincing lie and never fesses up. Narcissists don't have a fully developed conscience. They only care about not getting caught. Then there are the put-downs, manipulations and humiliations that come next.
After months of years of these barrages, the non-narcissistic partner is psychologically confused and exhausted. She tells herself that it will all change if she is more understanding and patient. This tactic doesn't work and some spouses are in a constant state of duress often for years even decades wondering what they can do to make the relationship better. It can't improve because narcissists are incapable of forming real relationships. They only relate to themselves and their incessant demands. Some spouses develop chronic anxiety, insomnia and depression as a result of these marriages. The narcissistic spouse is spewing out psychologically poisonous venom at you every day. How much can you take? Are you willing to endanger your physical health? Are you aware of what this kind of toxic acrimonious environment is doing to your children?
Some spouses stay married to these severely disturbed individuals because of the financial security and lifestyle. Is it worth it when you cannot have one moment of peace, your stomach is always in knots and you are afraid that one of your children will become a narcissist? Making the life decision to sever your relationship from a narcissistic spouse is not easy. It is complex and the divorce process has many turns. Once your recognize that your life has value, that you deserve to pursue your creative gifts and make your own life decisions. There is good news from those who have severed their relationships with narcissistic spouses. Some of them wonder why it took them so long to develop a strong enough sense of self entitlement and healthy self regard to make this decision. Now freed, these individuals are freed up and grateful to reclaim their lives. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, large distribution online stores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
After months of years of these barrages, the non-narcissistic partner is psychologically confused and exhausted. She tells herself that it will all change if she is more understanding and patient. This tactic doesn't work and some spouses are in a constant state of duress often for years even decades wondering what they can do to make the relationship better. It can't improve because narcissists are incapable of forming real relationships. They only relate to themselves and their incessant demands. Some spouses develop chronic anxiety, insomnia and depression as a result of these marriages. The narcissistic spouse is spewing out psychologically poisonous venom at you every day. How much can you take? Are you willing to endanger your physical health? Are you aware of what this kind of toxic acrimonious environment is doing to your children?
Some spouses stay married to these severely disturbed individuals because of the financial security and lifestyle. Is it worth it when you cannot have one moment of peace, your stomach is always in knots and you are afraid that one of your children will become a narcissist? Making the life decision to sever your relationship from a narcissistic spouse is not easy. It is complex and the divorce process has many turns. Once your recognize that your life has value, that you deserve to pursue your creative gifts and make your own life decisions. There is good news from those who have severed their relationships with narcissistic spouses. Some of them wonder why it took them so long to develop a strong enough sense of self entitlement and healthy self regard to make this decision. Now freed, these individuals are freed up and grateful to reclaim their lives. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, large distribution online stores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Healing After Marriage to a Narcissist
Those who are married to narcissists are constantly under siege. In the beginning it may be Kismet; in the end it is the lowest circle of Hell. The narcissistic spouse is relentless in his/her ability to make constant demands, falsely accuse you, brainwash your children, make you doubt yourself, threaten to take away all of your worldly possessions including the home in which you live. This list of transgressions is endless and would take up too many pages to count. If there is a way to hurt you psychologically and financially the narcissist leading the attack will find it. Narcissists are "gifted" at "gutting" the lives of others. They have been practicing and mastering this form of destruction all of their lives. If they area golden children the narcissistic parent taught them that they were perfect and superior, that there was neither right nor wrong-----only the goal of winning. They have heard this charge since early childhood. "You have no limits---Everyone around you is inferior. You can do whatever you want. To achieve great things, you have to step over others who are in your way." These are the earliest messages from mother and/or father. These budding narcissists are molded to become to become false grandiose selves, to compete like gladiators, drawing psychological blood.
If you have recognized that you have been married to a narcissist and moved through the divorce process, you must give yourself all the space and time and self understanding to heal. First, give yourself credit for leaving this highly disturbed destructive person. Many stay in these marriages and are broken psychologically. Take time to be with yourself. This can take many forms. Get to know yourself--You have spent years being suffocated by the narcissist's overwhelming personality. Now you can breathe. Some of those in the healing process take up a practice of gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath. Yoga when done with focus and self love is very healing. It eases the nervous system into a state of calmness and safety. Meditation is another form of healing--This can be practiced on any level as long as you are nonjudgmental and consistent. Spend time each day in solitude. Go outdoors, listen to the birds, watch a hummingbird gracefully move from flower to flower, feel the light mist, the sun warm your shoulders----appreciate each moment. Working through the aftermath of marriage to a narcissist is a complex process. Be kind to yourself, take your time. A small support group that you form can be valuable. You will be heard and understood. This can mean one person. That's all you need. You will find that your life becomes simpler, quieter, calmer and feel grateful that you are moving toward a deeper inner peace. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, barnes and noble, many online bookstores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife
If you have recognized that you have been married to a narcissist and moved through the divorce process, you must give yourself all the space and time and self understanding to heal. First, give yourself credit for leaving this highly disturbed destructive person. Many stay in these marriages and are broken psychologically. Take time to be with yourself. This can take many forms. Get to know yourself--You have spent years being suffocated by the narcissist's overwhelming personality. Now you can breathe. Some of those in the healing process take up a practice of gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath. Yoga when done with focus and self love is very healing. It eases the nervous system into a state of calmness and safety. Meditation is another form of healing--This can be practiced on any level as long as you are nonjudgmental and consistent. Spend time each day in solitude. Go outdoors, listen to the birds, watch a hummingbird gracefully move from flower to flower, feel the light mist, the sun warm your shoulders----appreciate each moment. Working through the aftermath of marriage to a narcissist is a complex process. Be kind to yourself, take your time. A small support group that you form can be valuable. You will be heard and understood. This can mean one person. That's all you need. You will find that your life becomes simpler, quieter, calmer and feel grateful that you are moving toward a deeper inner peace. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, barnes and noble, many online bookstores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Malicious Narcissists---Convincing Others You are at Fault or Crazy
Narcissists have a sinister side, especially if they want something that you have and you refuse to comply. This becomes very ugly during the severing of a marital relationship. Many non-narcissistic spouses who have been treated abominably still want to believe that when it comes to ending the marriage, the narcissist will be fair and amenable to negotiation in good faith. Be clear here----Absolutely Not! They ensure their victims them bring on the army of shark-toothed lawyers and go for the jugular. To protect yourself, study and research in-depth the true nature of the narcissistic personality including examples from real life. Get to know this personality profile intimately. It will be a strong reminder when you start to bend or buckle to the narcissist's tricks, tactics, strong arming techniques and charm offensive.
Another dark ploy is that narcissists or their doubles, contact your relatives, in-laws, friends and anyone who will listen to broadcast blatant lies about your character. This doesn't happen in all instances but it is remarkable the lengths these malicious individuals exceed to trash you, putting you at fault and even leading others to believe that you are "crazy." Even people whom you have trusted ---family members---can be flipped to the narcissist's side, especially if he has influence where you have lived and deep pockets.
To successfully deal with these complex and stressful situations as you move toward divorce, be sure you hire an attorney who is not only an expert in family law but who is exceedingly savvy about the ruses, tricks and ploys of the narcissistic personality disorder. Your attorney needs to be highly professional but fearless in facing this relentless cruel and destructive individual. An excellent attorney in these situations must be like ultra-marathon runners. Regardless of any obstacle placed in front of them by the narcissist, they are undaunted. Their perseverance is golden.
A narcissist (male or female) will wage a custody battle for the sole purpose of trying to psychologically and financially decimate the former spouse. For the narcissist, revenge is sweet. It's where they live in their delusional treacherous minds.
Surround yourself with individuals whom you can trust completely and who believe and understand the horrible ordeal you are going through. Be good to yourself. Know that you hold the truth. You are very wise. If some others around you don't believe your life story, don't associate with them. Don't talk about your personal life. Be protective of your privacy. Another dirty offensive is to make you look "crazy" . This is so cruel and sadistic. Know that you are the sane one who is holding the truth. You are entitled to be treated with respect. You deserve it. Pay close attention to your intuition. It will always reveal the truth to you and help you to maintain a sense of steadiness and calm. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Online stores, etc.
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Another dark ploy is that narcissists or their doubles, contact your relatives, in-laws, friends and anyone who will listen to broadcast blatant lies about your character. This doesn't happen in all instances but it is remarkable the lengths these malicious individuals exceed to trash you, putting you at fault and even leading others to believe that you are "crazy." Even people whom you have trusted ---family members---can be flipped to the narcissist's side, especially if he has influence where you have lived and deep pockets.
To successfully deal with these complex and stressful situations as you move toward divorce, be sure you hire an attorney who is not only an expert in family law but who is exceedingly savvy about the ruses, tricks and ploys of the narcissistic personality disorder. Your attorney needs to be highly professional but fearless in facing this relentless cruel and destructive individual. An excellent attorney in these situations must be like ultra-marathon runners. Regardless of any obstacle placed in front of them by the narcissist, they are undaunted. Their perseverance is golden.
A narcissist (male or female) will wage a custody battle for the sole purpose of trying to psychologically and financially decimate the former spouse. For the narcissist, revenge is sweet. It's where they live in their delusional treacherous minds.
Surround yourself with individuals whom you can trust completely and who believe and understand the horrible ordeal you are going through. Be good to yourself. Know that you hold the truth. You are very wise. If some others around you don't believe your life story, don't associate with them. Don't talk about your personal life. Be protective of your privacy. Another dirty offensive is to make you look "crazy" . This is so cruel and sadistic. Know that you are the sane one who is holding the truth. You are entitled to be treated with respect. You deserve it. Pay close attention to your intuition. It will always reveal the truth to you and help you to maintain a sense of steadiness and calm. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Online stores, etc.
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Narcissists Will Not Poison My Life--I am Independent and Thriving
Whether you are the daughter, son, sibling, spouse or ex-spouse of a narcissistic personality you have been victimized by the narcissist in your life. These individuals are psychologically toxic to everyone, particularly those closest to them. Through their contaminated personalities with strong negative qualities of cruelty, dismissiveness, chronic lying, deception, exploitation and plans they execute to turn your family and friends against you through pernicious gossip and innuendo, the narcissistic personality wreaks havoc and horrendous pain for which he is never held accountable. Most people don't understand how one individual can be so callous and cruel. When those victimized by narcissists tell their story to close relative and friends, they are not believed. Or the person will say: " Get over it." "You are exaggerating." " (name of narcissist) is a great guy. Where are you getting all of these irrational ideas about him." And on and on. It it nauseating to watch the level of delusion in which many people live. They want to believe the best about narcissistic personalities----Really? Do they know anything about this severe psychopathology? No! Do they want to find out? No! They want "happy talk" and nothing more. I suggest that if you have been victimized by a narcissist and you are in the process of recovery, keep your distance from those who don't believe you. It is not worth all the torment, lack of understanding and lack of respect that you go through with those who make no effort to comprehend the level of your suffering.
Focus on your healing process. Turn to those who do understand the brutality you have endured. These are people you can trust and will continue to be supportive and watch you grow. Give yourself great credit for reclaiming your life from the narcissist. Allow yourself times of solitude and quiet to encourage healing on every level: physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual. Some find that a practice of gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath helps to quiet their thinking , to create clearer inner focus and to find a state of peace.
There are individuals who begin a meditation practice that works for them. This can mean very short sessions of meditation: one minute, two minutes, five minutes. What matters most is consistency not the length of time that your are meditating. Don't be judgmental in any way about your meditation.Make it pleasant for yourself.
If you miss a day or even more, don't criticize yourself. Start again. The power of meditation and the effect on growing independence of thought, deep intuition and inner peace. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, most online book stores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Focus on your healing process. Turn to those who do understand the brutality you have endured. These are people you can trust and will continue to be supportive and watch you grow. Give yourself great credit for reclaiming your life from the narcissist. Allow yourself times of solitude and quiet to encourage healing on every level: physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual. Some find that a practice of gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath helps to quiet their thinking , to create clearer inner focus and to find a state of peace.
There are individuals who begin a meditation practice that works for them. This can mean very short sessions of meditation: one minute, two minutes, five minutes. What matters most is consistency not the length of time that your are meditating. Don't be judgmental in any way about your meditation.Make it pleasant for yourself.
If you miss a day or even more, don't criticize yourself. Start again. The power of meditation and the effect on growing independence of thought, deep intuition and inner peace. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, most online book stores
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
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