Thursday, August 8, 2013

Martyred Married Narcissist--Spinning Tales of Woe that You Caused

Narcissists play many roles. When you have them caught in a divorce hold favorable to you, they switch to the part of martyr. Suddenly, trapped with the reality that he/she has to split the assets, the narcissist feels the hot breath of the wolf at his heels. He shudders inside. Maybe this time he will not be able to run the table on you the way he has throughout your marriage. What to do? Play the victim. What else? He is such  a fine method actor who slips into any part with ease and satisfaction.

Some spouses become alarmed when their narcissistic partner of many years suddenly appears docile and weak. He moans and mopes around you, making noises that you haven't heard before. You start to feel sorry for him---but you have done your homework and pull back. "Wait a minute, this is a new act he is trotting out and I'm not buying it."

The martyred narcissist tells everyone in reach how you have made his/her life, hell on earth. You have pressured him, caused him emotional distress with your unrelenting demands. You talk behind his back and tell lies about his fine character. You are cruel to his (narcissistic) mother who adores him. These mutterings  are bald lies. Turn all of this around and you know this is exactly what he has done to you. He is spinning tales faster than the leaders on the final round of the Tour De France.

Despite all of the drama you are going to win. You are well prepared and ready to end this horrid excuse for a marriage. With all of your documentation, an excellent attorney, the company of trusted support, you are ready to sever this non-relationship. You imagine sweet freedom each day as you move toward your goal. No one can ever fool you again. Be proud of yourself. It's time to shine the light of your creative gifts, to feel your sails billowing as you move forward with ease and inner peace. Visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

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