Your Narcissistic Husband/Wife is A Sociopath

A person who incessantly makes efforts to destroy you and those close to you at every turn is a sociopath. Without conscience, flying high on the manic winds of their grandiosity, there is nothing  they will not do to eviscerate you psychologically and financially without laying a hand on you. It's done with sinister cunning--- siphoning off your money through legal maneuvers, getting others to  perform the dirty work of destroying your reputation, turning your family against you, making binding agreements and breaking them when it is inconvenient for them, finding legal loopholes to jump out of binding contracts, threatening to expose a personal secret and using psychological and financial blackmail to keep their silence, fighting and winning custody of your children not because the sociopath loves them but to cause you unending emotional suffering and reservoirs of guilt and fear about their future. There are as many demonic schemes as the sociopath's imagination can conjure up. You may think that the person you married is just self absorbed and selfish. Then you identify him as a narcissist---At last you recognize the man/woman you married is an irredeemable sociopath.

Be self protective and wise. He/she is never going to change. He will continue to harm you on every level, disrupt your life and in some cases, destroy your life. 


Take the initiative. Focus on what you  need and want for your life. Gather individuals around you whom you can trust. Seek psychotherapy if that is best for you at this time. Be keenly aware that your life is taking a different and positive trajectory after extricating yourself from this malicious sociopath. Do not make contact, direct or indirect with this person. (If necessary this can be done through attorneys). Leave no trace of your contact information. Begin to breathe deeply again. You may find that some form of meditation will still your mind and calm your body. Exercise and feel your body responding, becoming more alive. Give love and appreciation to yourself. You have prevailed over a dreadful situation. Now you are expanding inwardly and in the world, celebrating a new life cycle. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Living with a Narcissist-Have You Had More than Enough

"Relationships" with narcissists cannot be genuine because of their true nature. A narcissist is a grandiose false self, focused completely on his/her own ego needs---adulation, praise, worldly power, subservience of others to his will. In the early stages the narcissist with his solid gold charm offensive is unstoppable to most. He/she knows exactly how to play people, almost hypnotize them to make them members of his court. He is at your service; you are indispensable; the perfect match.  Some narcissists are so clever that they can anticipate your needs, know exactly what you want and get it for you. This is the wooing and seduction phase of the relationship.

Once you are in his possession, the mask starts to crumple and the other side of the narcissist's personality is revealed. This is a perfectionist, manipulator, deceiver, chronic liar, exploiter of everyone, especially those whom he has chosen as a partner. Many individuals marry narcissists against their own better judgment. They say to themselves: "He is so special and brilliant, so charming; this ugliness is temporary, it will pass with time." Another rationalization is: "I know he will change and I am the one he can count on to make that transformation." A self destructive belief: "There must be something the matter with me. He/she is so successful and revered by many people. I need to give him a chance. I'm being too sensitive."

Eventually the full weight of the psychological devastation perpetrated by the narcissist comes down upon you. He is in constant rages, blaming everything that goes wrong on you. You are incompetent. Some suffering partners take the blame upon themselves, never reflect that it is a pernicious psychological projection on the part of the narcissist. Once volleys of rage have bruised and beaten you down, you begin to wonder if you can take it any more. The ongoing verbal abuse and the absence of the smallest
  shred   of empathy have wearied and beaten you down. How much more will you take? Is it worth your psychological or physical well being? He much longer will you throw you life away and have it siphoned off by the narcissist's insatiable ego needs? At some point in this recurrent pain, many decide to leave the narcissist and reclaim their lives. This is a tough challenge, especially if he/she has control of the finances. There is no perfect time to leave the narcissist. One thing you can count on for sure is that this personality disorder is not going to change. In making you calculus close consideration must be made if you have children with this person. Narcissists have devastating psychological effect on their children. They are incapable of parenting and in some cases, their progeny become narcissists.

Making the decision and following through can be very tough but well worth the effort and perseverance.
After the break and you have renewed your psychological equilibrium, you will finally breathe become the author of your life. Good psychotherapy, support groups and communication with trusted friends may all be part of your healing process. Now you observe and follow the new trajectory of  your life, the inner peace that you have awaited so long  and the renewal of hope and creativity. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality and how to deal with these individuals, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com