Drop the Narcissists-Create the Life That You Deserve

Even if you are married to a narcissist, this person doesn't own you---how you feel, think, how well you sleep at night, what worries you, your creative gifts, your choice of close friends---your life's destiny--That belongs to you and no one else. It is difficult to buck the narcissists who are in our families including parents and siblings, in-laws and especially spouses. I hear so many life stories filled with deep emotional pain. They know that the narcissist has taken over and commandeered even their thoughts and in some dire circumstances the last shreds of hope that they will be able to escape the narcissist's grip and take back the life that they deserve as separate individuals.

Do not live by fear. I know this is very difficult if you have been under the psychological and financial yoke of the narcissists for decades or even beginning as children in a narcissistic family. The narcissistic personality is not going to change. You can dance to every tune that they play and it will never be good enough. Some spouses stay with the narcissist for the lifestyle, for the prestige of "sharing" their lives with someone who is notable and financially very successful. When you live with a narcissist there is no sharing. THEY TAKE! And you give, sometimes more than you can bear. What this kind of relationship does to your children is very destructive. It tells them that one person can harm another emotionally and psychologically and have complete control in a household with no mercy and empathy and that is OK. You who know who the narcissist really is must come forward and tell the truth by your act of separating yourself in some significant way from this highly disruptive and disturbed person. Forget those, including relatives who are pressuring you to stay with the narcissist. He or she only shows his good side to them. Also they don't want to hear anything that is negative. They are too accustomed to not being capable of dealing with the truth. They live in delusion. As long as people's lives have a gilded image on the outside, that fine with them. They are not interested in what goes on, the nightmarish scenarios that take place every day inside the confines of a house where those victimized by narcissists are held psychologically captive. If you hold the truth, that is all that matters even if hundreds of others are deluded. We live in a time when the society is ready and even thrilled by the narcissistic style. The externals of life have replaced what the heart and intuition know to be the truth. Hold on to the truth no matter who disagrees or tries to whittle you down. They are seeing through a glass darkly. Know this and remain strong in your perception.

Strengthen yourself. Learn to detach and separate from the narcissist through quieting your nervous system and your mind. Find routine and practices that help you achieve a state of calmness. Do this regularly. Find practices that work for you: gentle yoga with emphasis on the breath, various forms of meditation, beginning with short period of meditation and nonjudgmental attitudes, walking and other cardiovascular exercise that increases in your stamina and vitality, drives the engine of the immune system and raises your moods. Find your creative path---Is it journaling, gardening, blogging, podcasting, photographing Nature around you, cooking---You will know what area of creativity is calling you. Watch yourself progress. The self is always evolving and moving forward. We provide it with the right environment inside and growth takes place. This is a natural process that we experience throughout our lives. You will find others who seek and know the truth.These individuals are invaluable. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
TELEPHONE CONSULTATION:UNITED STATES AND INTERNATIONAL
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, bookstores online, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Don't Let your Narcissistic Spouse Run off with Your Assets

Knowledge is power. You have heard that many times.When it comes to a narcissist this is particularly important. When you begin to intuit that your spouse is a narcissist, pay attention. Then, do your homework and inform yourself about the serious nature of this severe personality disorder. Many women stay married to narcissistic men---Let's stay together for the children--We have a great lifestyle--There are no financial worries; I feel stable and secure. You can never be secure with a narcissist. They are never straight or true. They lie, cheat, convincingly put on the act of the "good person", They are connivers and schemers.

Narcissists are exceedingly greedy. They love money and the status that can bring them in business and social circles. Narcissists conceal their money from their spouses. They make secret deals. They are super controllers. If you don't protect yourself the narcissistic spouse will make all of the demands on you, treat you like dirt and eventually leave you. Narcissists change their wills without your knowledge. They buy and sell properties. They gamble it away. They are restless human beings that must always be entertained.

Protect yourself financially from your narcissistic spouse by insisting that you share all of the assets to which you are entitled. When the marriage goes south at least you will have the material means to take care of yourself.  During a divorce in particular narcissists hide valuable assets and pretend that they are flat broke. They have been creating this scheme for a long time. Get ahead of them with your knowledge of their true nature, the assistance of highly informed professionals who can obtain the truth about your mutual finances and by keeping yourself psychologically and emotionally at a distance. These are tall orders but essential to your present and future. You are entitled financially, psychologically and emotionally to lead a life in which you use your potential, creative gifts, have meaningful relationships and feel deep inner peace. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com 



Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com