One of the repetitive themes that runs through the cycle of abuse with the narcissistic spouse is: "I have changed. I want you back. I am a different person now." This works very well for many narcissists. They are such brilliant method actors that the abused spouse believes them. She has been waiting to hear these words for years. She wants to believe that this man has transformed himself. She still loves this husband who has abused her for years. She takes him back and soon discovers that he has returned to get something that he wants. In some cases it is a financial ruse. He knows that you have been very successful at your career or business and he has come to take you for every financial asset you have. Another reason is that he doesn't want to go through a divorce because in the agreement he will lose too much of his monetary worth. He would much rather have a pretend marriage with you as the official spouse that leaves him lots of opportunities for his affairs. He needs the image of the perfect marriage and family. Beneath the surface he is still leading a secret life.
Narcissistic personalities do not change. This is a fixed characterlogical disorder. Narcissists believe they are perfect. Don't let the narcissistic spouse back into your life. You don't deserve this abuse and exploitation. Free yourself. You will find your own way. You will use your creative gifts. Your energy and emotional and psychological health will be restored. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissitinyourlife.com
Showing posts with label narcissistic exploitation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label narcissistic exploitation. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, May 16, 2011
Don't Let Narcissists Exploit You---Take Charge of Yourself and Your Life
It is easy, almost automatic to be impressed with individuals who have the full package--confidence, affability, smooth social graces, a convincing act that they are genuinely interested in you. I am speaking about narcissistic personality disorders who are on the fast track to power and success. They are so clever at attracting the exact people they need to make them successful and powerful. Many of them begin by marrying a person who has all of the right qualities and connections that will lead them to their highly ambitious goals.
Many individuals are ensnared in the narcissist's net. They are enchanted by this unique human being who has no sense of limits, who conjures up large concepts, who is fearless and supremely confident. Many remain under the spell of the narcissist despite the control he/she places on their lives. Narcissists create a magic around them that fools most of those close to them. They are famous for making big promises that often don't come to fruition. If you live with a narcissist you are being exploited. Your time is not your own. The narcissist is making continuing impossible demands on you that create overwhelming stress. Your life is being used by the narcissist to exploit every aspect of your person. These individuals attempt to take over your life and in many cases they succeed. Some spouses falter physically and psychologically under the constant demands, manipulations, outrageous intimidations that are laid at your feet by the narcissist. The narcissist is basically communicating to his partner----either you do it my way or you're out of the picture. I can easily find someone else. Some of those who communicate with me feel as if the narcissist is trying to steal their soul or what they call the most sacred part of themselves.
Remember you have alternatives. Regardless of the number of years you have been captive to the narcissist, you have the option to sever this pathological relationship and take charge of your own life. You are entitled to lead a life that is full of hope, serenity, use of your creative gifts, spontaneous self expression, laughter and joy. I have heard some heartening stories from those who have taken these steps. They are grateful that they took back their lives as individuals. They are unencumbered and free. They feel greater emotional security, hopefulness about the present and future and deep inner peace. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Many individuals are ensnared in the narcissist's net. They are enchanted by this unique human being who has no sense of limits, who conjures up large concepts, who is fearless and supremely confident. Many remain under the spell of the narcissist despite the control he/she places on their lives. Narcissists create a magic around them that fools most of those close to them. They are famous for making big promises that often don't come to fruition. If you live with a narcissist you are being exploited. Your time is not your own. The narcissist is making continuing impossible demands on you that create overwhelming stress. Your life is being used by the narcissist to exploit every aspect of your person. These individuals attempt to take over your life and in many cases they succeed. Some spouses falter physically and psychologically under the constant demands, manipulations, outrageous intimidations that are laid at your feet by the narcissist. The narcissist is basically communicating to his partner----either you do it my way or you're out of the picture. I can easily find someone else. Some of those who communicate with me feel as if the narcissist is trying to steal their soul or what they call the most sacred part of themselves.
Remember you have alternatives. Regardless of the number of years you have been captive to the narcissist, you have the option to sever this pathological relationship and take charge of your own life. You are entitled to lead a life that is full of hope, serenity, use of your creative gifts, spontaneous self expression, laughter and joy. I have heard some heartening stories from those who have taken these steps. They are grateful that they took back their lives as individuals. They are unencumbered and free. They feel greater emotional security, hopefulness about the present and future and deep inner peace. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Monday, February 21, 2011
Repetitive Narcissistic Exploitation
Exploitation is the narcissist's middle name. They are always using others, especially spouses, ex-spouses, children and other family members to get their needs met not yours. Narcissists don't care,are not interested and are closed off to your needs. They are over-entitled and have no hesitation about making demands from you constantly. This puts their spouses and children in continual emergency red button mode. Every moment is a fire drill. We become emotionally depleted and in some cases physically ill. Take care of yourself . Set boundaries with the narcissist and be consistent. He or she will step over these lines, cajole you into letting them have their way, intimidate and humiliate you. Don't give in. Keep your emotional, psychological and physical distance(if possible) from the narcissist. Being in their presence is poisoning to you emotionally and psychologically. If you must be in touch with them, learn to detach from them by not over-reacting to their lies and the dramas that follow if they don't get what they want. Let them put up a fuss like a baby in a high chair throwing his peas all over the floor. Don't let their tantrums and threats overrun you. Stay steady through a practice of stillness, relaxation techniques, gentle yoga and meditation.
I have seen narcissists repeat their exploitive schemes. They are counting on wearing you down, getting you off center, making you lose your temper, on giving in. You can outlast the narcissist by remaining centered and grounded in your own values and destiny and having a support system. You have a separate life to which you are entitled. Give them no ground, no screams or snarling, no smirk and when appropriate no contact. Their goal is to engage and enrage and get you to lose control of yourself ; this spells weakness to them and the right time to pounce. You can continue to develop mastery over yourself. Work at your physical, mental and psychological health each day---it is a priority especially in counterbalancing the narcissist's repeated exploitive attempts.
Give yourself credit for how you are handling this very difficult and at times impossible person. Take refuge within yourself, among your friends, in the solitude and beauty of nature and through your spiritual practice in the way that you define it. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
I have seen narcissists repeat their exploitive schemes. They are counting on wearing you down, getting you off center, making you lose your temper, on giving in. You can outlast the narcissist by remaining centered and grounded in your own values and destiny and having a support system. You have a separate life to which you are entitled. Give them no ground, no screams or snarling, no smirk and when appropriate no contact. Their goal is to engage and enrage and get you to lose control of yourself ; this spells weakness to them and the right time to pounce. You can continue to develop mastery over yourself. Work at your physical, mental and psychological health each day---it is a priority especially in counterbalancing the narcissist's repeated exploitive attempts.
Give yourself credit for how you are handling this very difficult and at times impossible person. Take refuge within yourself, among your friends, in the solitude and beauty of nature and through your spiritual practice in the way that you define it. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)