Narcissistic Golden Boy Sons and Mothers They Love to Hate

Narcissistic golden boys are created not born. Often they are the progeny of narcissistic mothers. One of the family patterns creates a pathological triangle between father, mother and son. Some narcissistic mothers spend their lives devoted to the male they love the most---their narcissistic son. The narcissistic mother has never loved her husband. He was hand picked by her as a vehicle for enhancing her illustrious self image. If he is a specialist in medicine and at the top professionally---a cardiologist, prominent surgeon, esteemed neurologist or psychiatrist, a stellar scientist, inventor, entrepreneur--this woman has assured herself of an identity, an image that will constantly be providing her ego with narcissistic supplies. She has placed herself at the center of prestige and power. Her marriage is a business arrangement, She doesn't love this male creature .He is a treasure she has been plotting for and seeking all of her life, a stepping stone to her greatness. Her individual stock rises with marriage to a man of superior achievement and extraordinary power reach and prestige.

Much more than her marriage to the prominent man, the narcissistic mother puts her focus from the time of infancy on her prized son. If she has other children they are treated differently from this golden being, the source of the joy and purpose of her life. This psychological fusion between mother and son doesn't work for the other family members.They are often treated abusively or at minimum are demeaned and dismissed by their narcissistic mothers.

As the golden boy narcissistic son grows he gathers even greater psychological control of his mother. He has been given everything by her---admiration, benefits of a great education, treatment as a human godlike figure. The golden boy narcissist consciously believes that he is superior to his siblings and his father.Beneath the surface is a mother's darling who despises his mother on an unconscious level. He feels psychologically trapped by the adoring matriarch. Deep down the GB narcissistic son despises his mother. Often he seeks revenge by plotting and taking control of the family finances, leaving his siblings without an inheritance  or any financial stability. He watches them writhe with pain and views them at pitiful, incompetent failures. 

Another consequence of these pathological relationships is the narcissist's deep hatred of women. He appears to adore them with all of his affairs and numerous marriages. The treat their wives brutally with constant criticisms, sadistic rages and the imposition of constant overwhelming stress. These men are impossible marriage partners.

Psychologically the GB narcissist has been emasculated by the narcissistic mother. He is emotionally empty inside, incapable of any form of intimacy or empathy. In the end these GB narcissists continue to hate their narcissistic mothers and unconsciously hate themselves. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, widely distributed in book form and e-books
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Are You Married to a Golden Boy Narcissist? Protect Yourself

"In many ways, the birth of the future narcissist is a second coming, the fulfillment of all the hopes and dreams of the parents. Because they feel empty and inadequate and are often narcissistic themselves, the child is the chosen one, the answer to all of their prayers...A common message communicated by the parents is: 'Everything we do is for you---you are the center of our world.' " (From: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life)

Golden boy narcissists are standouts almost from the beginning. Handsome, highly confident, athletic, bright---they magnify us with their presence. They have a dynamic that tells us they can handle and master whatever comes along in their lives. If they are attracted to you, it won't be long before you find them irresistible. When we feel the sexual attraction and emotional pull it is very difficult to listen to any mental doubts we might have. The golden boy is a master of the chase. If he wants a particular woman by his side, he is gifted at reeling her in. Narcissists can gauge how attracted you are to them. They know just which buttons to push, how to create an aura of excitement and unlimited possibilities and put it at your feet. Their promises and the pictures they paint of a life with them are highly believable.

Within a short time you are psychologically fused with them and romantically thrilled by being the chosen woman with whom this special person will share his life. For a short time after the marriage, everything appears to be going as promised. Then, a shift takes place. You catch you spouse in lies. He denies them and is furious with you for false accusation. You question yourself, believing that you could be wrong. The idealization of the golden boy narcissist by the non-narcissistic spouse is the painful, predictable mistake that is made. Their acts are so convincing that some golden boy narcissists belong on the Broadway stage.


As time moves forward, the red flags are more frequent. Every time something goes wrong, you are blamed.Quite often it is the narcissist who is out of line. That doesn't matter. Narcissists don't make mistakes. You take the blame even though it hurts. You have invested too much of yourself to do otherwise. Then there is the narcissist's role as master controller. He dictates every phase of your life, even to the smallest detail. Narcissists monitor your thoughts and tell you that your thinking is amiss. "What's the matter with you? You're so confused. Why are you constantly over-reacting?" If you want to go through the family finances with the narcissistic, he becomes very defensive and then angry and ugly. He accuses you of not trusting him. As the marriage goes along in years, the golden boy narcissist becomes an attack dog,showing his fangs whenever you speak with independent thinking and an assertive voice. You are castigated, humiliated and verbally threatened. "You do it my way or else." That's what this so called golden boy is saying. Finally you recognize that this "relationship" isn't working. There's no warmth, no respect,no empathy--just constant stress and being on an emotional edge that is intolerable.



Learn to protect yourself from these GB narcissists. Don't buy into their lies and prevarications. They are not going to change. The narcissistic personality is a fixed. The narcissists adores himself and controls everyone else. Why should he change--he's perfect.



Often it is best to cut your loses and look to your future without the narcissistic golden boy. Listen to your intuition, the wise one inside of us. Call on friends whom you trust to be supportive and respectful of your decisions and are available when you need them. Take time to study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Don't blame yourself for what the narcissist has put you through. Look forward to a life that you deserve that is filled with creativity, affection, spontaneity and a deep peace that is waiting for you. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com