There is a personality disorder spectrum from pathological narcissism to sociopathy. The kind of sociopath I speak of doesn't personally attack another person with mortal physical force. From his point of view that would be absurd, ineffective and put him in prison. The high level sociopath destroys people slowly with pseudo empathy and feigned kindness. That is the demonic genius of the high level sociopath. He takes you into his confidence. Some people fall in love with these individuals and no matter what harm they have caused, continue to live with and defend them.
The high level sociopath is exceedingly narcissistic--self absorbed, exhibiting convincing pseudo empathy, personally magnetic, often very bright, cunning, cleverly exploitive. They wouldn't be careless and impulsive to blow their elaborate persona of perfection, superiority or the misperception by others that they are "good people." The high level sociopath operates to achieve his goals through his masterful control and manipulation of others. The high level sociopath is ultra confident. He has no limits. He is often seen as a business visionary. Some of these psychological predators accomplish a great deal in the world, building empires and fiefdoms that amass large fortunes. This is the public face and imprint that these high level sociopaths send to the world---their global image. This is a small fragment of their true nature. In private the high level sociopath operates in a different mode. He/she is cold, distant, enraged, hyper-perfectionistic and hyper-critical, autocratic and without mercy.
These individuals are the ultimate nightmare as parents. They are incapable of playing this role. Their children are used like chess pieces in a high stakes game. They don't give a damn about how their small child is responding to them as long as the parent is in complete control of them. Some of these sociopaths discard and ignore their children, sending them off to full time nannies, boarding schools and military schools as early as possible. They want nothing to do with children other than using them to build up their image of a great father. In some cases these sociopaths choose a favored child that is groomed to become a part of his echo of perfection and power---this child becomes a strong source of narcissistic supply. The sociopath has huge bragging rights about the high achieving child he has created. Children who are not chosen for these special roles are thrown away, psychologically imprisoned, treated with extreme cruelty. If his children are not performing at the level he insists, some sociopathic parents abandon the entire family and re-constitute themselves with a new adoring spouse who has no clue about this form of psychopathology.
I am in communication with a number of individuals who unwittingly married high level sociopaths. They often have no clue that they are married to a person who is bent on destroying others in order to make it to the top.
The heady lifestyle that the high level sociopath provides for his puppet spouse is irresistible. Feeling financially secure, having anything at your fingertips that you desire, being seen as important and special----all of these narcissistic supplies shared by the non-narcissistic spouse are very difficult to give up. Many spouses stay with the high level sociopath indefinitely despite the heavy toll that this partnership takes on them. Throwing in one's fate with one of these vipers stunts your creativity, your capacity to become separate, to expand, deepen and grow psychologically and spiritually.
These sociopaths are all consuming. They suck out the creative and emotional oxygen from your life. You never have respite or peace. Sociopaths do whatever they want without any sense of consequences to the welfare of others. Everything is about their march to the pinnacle of power, the need to vanquish their many enemies, to morally compromise their close associates to bend to their will. Those who defy them are endangered psychologically and emotionally. These sociopaths are vengeful and never forget who has transgressed against their iron will.
If you are married to a high level sociopath, it is advisable that you sever this relationship---especially to protect your children. The sooner you make this move, the better. This person is not going to change---ever!
Apply your intuition, listen to your internal voices and act in your best psychological, emotional and spiritual interests. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in your Life
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