You and the narcissist live in two different worlds. The narcissist lives in a world of delusion that he has created that speaks of his omnipotence, control and perfection. You live in a world that is more real. You have deep feelings, concern about the welfare of others and are capable of compassion. The narcissists can pretend to care by a mechanism I call pseudo empathy. High level narcissists in particular at talented at acting these roles. When the lights are on, the camera is in motion and the audience is rapt with attention, they put on their act of empathy.This is highly convincing to most people. As soon as the lights are off and the cameras stops, the narcissist take a 180 degree turn and reverts back to his cold, unempathic self. The consequences of narcissistic cruelty can psychologically grind down their spouses and children at a point where they feel like they are falling apart.
Narcissists don't want to hear about your feelings or your pain. It revolts them. They strike back with "You are weak." "What's the matter with you." "Look at me---I get what I want; I'm successful; I'm adored." "I'm sick of listening to your complaints." Narcissists only want to hear what you are going to do for them. Everything else is inconsequential. You and the narcissists live in two different worlds, even if you are a spouse, child or sibling. These are the most painful situation---having a close family member who is incapable of genuine caring on any level. To detach yourself from the narcissist and appreciate yourself as a unique, valuable human being, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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