You have been through a long harrowing, gut wrenching and horrific experience with a narcissistic spouse or narcissistic mother, father or sibling. Most people do not understand what you have endured and how you have survived. They are too caught up in their lives and have short attention spans for the traumas and tragedies of others. However, you will find a few very unique individuals who will become part of your support system. In some instances an important part of your recovery will be working with a psychotherapist who is excellent and dedicated to you as a client and has an in-depth clinical background in the NPD and those who suffer from their countless cruelties.
One of the first
steps is in believing that you can heal from this ordeal and that you
deserve and are entitled to finally lead your own life without bending
to the will and outrageous demands of the narcissist. If you were raised
by a narcissistic mother or father, you needed to survive and played
the part that was mapped out for you, often knowing that something was
very wrong with one or both of your parents and/or siblings.
beings are meant to be whole, to experience inner peace, to give and
receive love, to feel joy deep within them, to have full use of their
creative gifts and to follow a spiritual pathway in the manner that each
person defines this.
The essential healing factor is self care.
You have spent most of your life, moving through the narrow
psychological spaces that were required as a result of your relationship
with a narcissistic personality.
Now you are no longer required
to define yourself in this way. You are no longer a narcissistic supply
or possession of the narcissist. You will find that that there is a
place deep inside of you that is independent, spontaneous, creative, has
humor and knows that your possibilities are boundless. You will not let
anyone interfere with your forward trajectory. When the pain of past
cruel deeds come to mind, you acknowledge it, understand their context
and then return to your true self which always leads the way.
how to calm the body/mind through meditation in a form that works for
you is very helpful. Responding to you intellectual and creative
curiosity is one of life's greatest gifts to us. We wade into an area of
passionate interest and find ourselves deeply immersed--We are happily
lost in our journey to understand what has fascinated us for so long.
The company of caring, loving friends and companions is one of the best
medicines for healing and wholeness. You deserve to receive the
affection that others feel for you and to know that this is happening
because these individuals are recognizing something special inside of
you that is unique and wonderful.
Be open to the messages of your
unconscious--your dreams that come each night to speak the truth in
metaphors, extraordinary scenes, verbal messages, vivid colors and
incredible characters that you create while in REM sleep. Listen to your
intuition for new directions in your life. Be open and receptive and
you will hear these messages with ease. Tapping into this gift of yours
will become a natural part of your daily life.
The self seeks
wholeness. That is one of its essential functions. Embrace this process
and you will find the inner peace and inspiration you have been seeking
all of your life and that you justly deserve. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com and talk with me at the narcissist in your life facebook.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life