These are among the most successful, bright, ingenious, attractive, magnetic individuals that we encounter. They are confident, socially skilled, astute and exceedingly charming. This is a description of the Socialized Sociopath, a severe personality disturbance that has become acceptable, even valued and lauded in our current society. As pathological narcissism has grown and become an integral part of our society so has socialized sociopathy. Some people are shocked by these statements. I say "Wake Up" and pay attention for your own welfare to this reality. Today socialized sociopaths are deified in some sectors of our society due to the tremendous emphasis on leading a "successful" life and grabbing power and having endless monetary prowess. I am not saying that people should not strive to utilize every gift and energy that they have to operate on a very high level of achievement. However, "achievement" does not mean destroying the lives of others in order to get whatever and whomever we want and to control and manipulate everyone that crosses our path and to decimate and destroy those who do not go along with our plans. This includes spouses and children who will not bend to the will of the socialized sociopath. For him or her, the true individual does not exist. He/she can always be replaced with someone else who is compliant and will provide him with every narcissistic supply on the face of the earth: adulation, praise, adoration, comfort, an enhanced image and reach in the social and business worlds.
Socialized sociopaths lead secret lives even if we are married to them for decades. They are making their dirty business deals, having secret affairs--sometimes several at a time. They have no problem with illegal acts as long as they don't get caught. Besides, so much of our society now is completely superficial and if you have a great external image and the bling and the homes and the cars and the social status and sterling connections, you are above reproach. There are socialized sociopaths who are not monetarily successful and who disrupt and destroy lives as well.
Unless people awaken one by one to the menacing presence and destructive actions of the socialized sociopath today, they will take over even more human territory and leave more individuals in complete ruin. That is their goal, their aim, their raison d'tre. Never give them any break--especially if they are promising you something that they know you must have. Yes, they have no insight but they are cunning at the core and know every vulnerability that you have. They work on your weaknesses and play on your deepest desires. That's how sick they are. Reeling you in and out, back and forth is a game to them. It is torturous for you but play to them. They are sadistic!!!
Recognizing that you are married to a socialized sociopath is the beginning of your awakening. Study this character disorder in-depth. Understand what is triggering you to go back to them each time for more punishment and terror. Make the decision to leave this "relationship" that is harming you. Do not give this person any clue that you will be severing this sick tie. Do all of your homework and be ahead of them every step of the way.
Get the help that you need to disengage psychologically and emotionally from them including excellent psychotherapy if that is your decision, quieting the body/mind through meditation, gentle yoga, building a support group of a few people who are empathic, taking care of yourself on every level--physical, mental, emotional, psychological, spiritual. Pay close attention to your intuition. It will tell your the truth every time about another person's true nature. It will protect you from the socialized sociopath and all other predatory beasts.
Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Telephone Consultations: International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Showing posts with label married to socialized sociopath. Show all posts
Showing posts with label married to socialized sociopath. Show all posts
Friday, March 21, 2014
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Are You Married to a Socialized Sociopath and Don't Know It
The sociopath is in unexpected ways smoother and more believable than the classic narcissist. All sociopaths are narcissistic. Not all sociopaths end up in prison or harm people physically. No, they are too clever for that.
They are so "good" at sizing you up and getting you to relinquish yourself to them, that it makes your head spin just thinking about it. Often they are in positions of great power--private and public. There are more sociopaths now in the society than the statistics indicate. That's because the high level ones don't get caught and they know exactly how to operate under the radar and to protect themselves at all times.
You know a socialized sociopath but very likely don't recognize him/her. Often successful and socially adept, these people are masters of knowing what you desire, need, want, must have. They are subtle taking your psychological temperature. They survey the environment like a red tailed hawk those they decide to possess. They know your moves, your attitudes, your fantasies, your reputation, yours successes, your weaknesses. They secretly investigate your family history to determine if you are the right partner for them---the one who will benefit them the most.With meticulous calculation the meeting takes place. The sociopath makes a breathtaking opening move---unforgettable!
After the romance is in full bloom and thrall, it doesn't take long to make plans for the wedding. You are his biggest "get." You come from a prestigious family, have an excellent education, are attractive even beautiful and will present a perfect image as spouse to the sociopath.
Within a year or before the non narcissistic spouse feels twinges of regret and fear that she has made this marital choice. She is the recipient of constant criticisms, screaming fits, humiliations. There are clues that he is participating in unethical and illegal business practices. She suspects that he has a few women hidden away when she lies sleepless in bed not believing that he is working late into the night and early morning hours. but there is a part of her that keeps forcing herself to believe that he is loyal and still loves her. She makes millions of excuses for him, remembering the early days of their romance and his extraordinary promises he made. There is secrecy about bank accounts. When asked about their investments or money, he becomes surly and boils over with rage: " You don't trust me. How dare you?" "After everything I have given to you, you have the nerve to question my character." "You have some nerve." This is spoken with such forthrightness that the spouse in the dark wants to believe her spouse.
Finally the last trap door opens; the reveal occurs; the horror is exposed in this "heart of darkness." Now you know whom you have married---A user, an exploiter, a destroyer, a dissembler, a socialized sociopath.
Save yourself and know that you are worth it. As you proceed give no warning--not a hint. Outwit this socialized criminal, this dark being in human form. Make meticulous plans, get out and get back to yourself. You have begun your next incarnation----Feel the joy running through your body/mind. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
They are so "good" at sizing you up and getting you to relinquish yourself to them, that it makes your head spin just thinking about it. Often they are in positions of great power--private and public. There are more sociopaths now in the society than the statistics indicate. That's because the high level ones don't get caught and they know exactly how to operate under the radar and to protect themselves at all times.
You know a socialized sociopath but very likely don't recognize him/her. Often successful and socially adept, these people are masters of knowing what you desire, need, want, must have. They are subtle taking your psychological temperature. They survey the environment like a red tailed hawk those they decide to possess. They know your moves, your attitudes, your fantasies, your reputation, yours successes, your weaknesses. They secretly investigate your family history to determine if you are the right partner for them---the one who will benefit them the most.With meticulous calculation the meeting takes place. The sociopath makes a breathtaking opening move---unforgettable!
After the romance is in full bloom and thrall, it doesn't take long to make plans for the wedding. You are his biggest "get." You come from a prestigious family, have an excellent education, are attractive even beautiful and will present a perfect image as spouse to the sociopath.
Within a year or before the non narcissistic spouse feels twinges of regret and fear that she has made this marital choice. She is the recipient of constant criticisms, screaming fits, humiliations. There are clues that he is participating in unethical and illegal business practices. She suspects that he has a few women hidden away when she lies sleepless in bed not believing that he is working late into the night and early morning hours. but there is a part of her that keeps forcing herself to believe that he is loyal and still loves her. She makes millions of excuses for him, remembering the early days of their romance and his extraordinary promises he made. There is secrecy about bank accounts. When asked about their investments or money, he becomes surly and boils over with rage: " You don't trust me. How dare you?" "After everything I have given to you, you have the nerve to question my character." "You have some nerve." This is spoken with such forthrightness that the spouse in the dark wants to believe her spouse.
Finally the last trap door opens; the reveal occurs; the horror is exposed in this "heart of darkness." Now you know whom you have married---A user, an exploiter, a destroyer, a dissembler, a socialized sociopath.
Save yourself and know that you are worth it. As you proceed give no warning--not a hint. Outwit this socialized criminal, this dark being in human form. Make meticulous plans, get out and get back to yourself. You have begun your next incarnation----Feel the joy running through your body/mind. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)