Thursday, June 30, 2011

Narcissists--Obsession with Money Destroys Their Families

Narcissists who function in the high stakes world of obsessive money making are riding on this track day and night. Being married and having children is secondary to their extreme preoccupation with accumulating more and more wealth. It is done with stealth, cunning, duplicity and deceit. I communicate with victims of narcissists, especially, spouses, who have not only been severely psychologically wounded by the narcissist, but who are left with no financial resources or security. The narcissistic spouse has worked day and night, plotting in secret to take each financial asset, that is either community property or that belongs to the spouse separately. The financial security of the victimized spouse is removed piece by piece without their knowledge. Often it is too late for any legal recourse since the victimized spouse has been left without the resources for legal defense. The non-narcissistic spouse has put her trust in her husband, not knowing that he is a treacherous narcissist. These money machinations occur frequently.

The narcissist, after eviscerating his family emotionally and financially, moves on to his next life with someone else who was previously chosen in secret. Like a conqueror who circles the medieval world, destroying and pillaging everything in his path, the narcissist races onward toward his next conquest. Our current narcissistic society with its emphasis on "winners", huge money makers who cleverly defraud others using legal loopholes are applauded. Young budding narcissists have taken them as models for their visions of ultimate success. Shut your mind and ears to the "I'm going to change fabrications." They are pure fiction and designed to make you captive to them once more.

Stop the narcissistic spouse in his tracks before you are financially devastated. First, identify this individual as a narcissist . Once you know the severity of this fixed, unchanging personality disorder, you will not be vulnerable to his bag of tricks, his method acting brilliant performances or his "I am a victim, hear me roar" themes that are played to everyone you know. Watch for his vilification of you and don't stand for it.

Work on maintaining your psychological and emotional distance from this individual by keeping yourself strong, detached psychologically and by building up yourself. Make an agreement with yourself that you deserve to lead a different life, unencumbered by the psychological and monetary assaults of the narcissist. Create a zone of calm and healing. Practice gentle hatha yoga with emphasis on the breath, meditation--walking and sitting.  Do regular cardiovascular exercise that works the best for you. You are a separate, valuable individual. You are entitled to use all of your creative gifts and to create an environment of deep inner peace. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website: the

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: and amazon kindle edition

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