Friday, June 1, 2012

Narcissist is Loyal to No One---Except Himself

"The narcissist is incapable of either personal or professional loyalty. His life is devoid of true intimacy or love. "  (From: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life).  Narcissists don't form genuine relationships. They create alliances with those who will fulfill their grandiose visions. Surprisingly, most people are fooled by highly skilled brilliantly acted narcissistic performances. When the narcissist is at center stage he/she evokes great emotion from his audience. They are inspired by him. They believe everything he says and what he promises he will do for them. A narcissist looks you right in the eyes and tells you that you are the brightest, most attractive and fascinating person  he has ever met.

If you feel a strong sexual attraction---watch out. But you won't if you don't know that this man is a narcissist. These individuals are masters of seduction. They are artful with the nonverbals---the glances that go right through you. There is a powerful dynamic with the gifted narcissist. It is very difficult to say "no" to him. You have the impression that he has fallen for you quickly. You are shocked, especially if he is highly attractive, mesmerizing and irresistible. While you are off balance psychologically from this rush of pleasure the narcissist has been planning what he is going to do with you. Are you a one night stand, a dalliance, a long term affair or spouse material?  If you can provide him with high level narcissistic supplies---business and social connections that will elevate him in the pecking order, it is likely that you will play a quality supporting role in his life---at least for a while. Those who marry narcissists eventually run afoul of the Mr. Hyde personality--the one that works on your last nerve, screams at the top of his lungs, tortures you with his cruel words and constant humiliations and threats. First you blame yourself. Some spouses continue to do this throughout the marriage. They become exhausted, depressed even physically ill.

There is a time certain when the narcissist will discard you. You will not know the time--You may feel it coming but often it is a cruel surprise. In the end you were completely dispensable. The narcissist was never loyal to you---even while you were married. It is likely that he cheated on you.

These personalities are incapable of genuine feelings--love and empathy in particular. To protect yourself from the narcissistic personality, learn about every facet of this character disorder. Visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

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