Divorcing a narcissist---choosing the right attorney

You will know this right off the top. Do not choose a narcissistic attorney to represent you. Scrutinize several candidates even if you have a good referral. There is self confidence and then you have grandiosity and extreme self entitlement. And of course lack of empathy. You want to be sure that the person whom you hire will have your welfare at the uppermost in his/her mind at all times. Do some research and insure that the attorney's fees are fair.

Make sure that your attorney has a picture of the true nature of the narcissistic personality---his slick manipulations,intimidations,cruel plots and ruses, chronic obsessive lying, his convincing public image. Never underestimate how outrageous the narcissist can be and get away with it. He has been doing this all of his life.

Take yourself in hand. Reinforce your strength and solidity as a separate person who deserves respect and to be heard. Don't be swayed by the negativity of others or those who try to scare you about your chances of being victorious. You are holding the truth in your mind and heart. Now you will give voice and testimony to this in the courtroom.

Going back to your attorney. Make sure your lawyer has a fine character. At the same time he/she must be unshakable---tough as nails.  I have seen too many victims of narcissists being represented by ill prepared attorneys who were not completely committed to their clients.

Call on your support group. You only need one person who will stand by you all the way. If you are doing this alone,affirm to yourself that you will prevail ;you deserve the best outcome. After it is all over, congratulate yourself. You have faced down the villain in the piece and you have won. I call these individuals  villainous because they destroy so many lives and get away with it. This time you are the victor. Congratulations! To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com


Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone consultation :united states and international
Book:Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Married to a Narcissist-Addicted to a Lifestyle

High level narcissists, those standout individuals who have success in all of their business and social endeavors, are plentiful today and growing in numbers. Many go through a series of marriages, like a television soap opera. I have spoken with a number of ex-spouses of narcissists who were  obsessed with the heady lifestyle that accompanies these unions. High level narcissists with their adoring circle of admirers creates a stir wherever they land. Those who marry narcissists, regardless of their professional accomplishments, are required to play the supportive role to the star of the company. Often golden couples who shine in public, in private the scenes between the partners turn very ugly. Narcissists are perfectionists and manipulators.  They think nothing of spewing their narcissistic rage, accusations and criticisms when the partner is not mirroring them perfectly. Although they live in material privilege, these spouses are treated like inanimate possessions and have no value to the narcissist as human beings. The narcissist is incapable of authentic relationships. For him or her, spouses are disposable. When  the spouse of a narcissist is perceived as being beyond her prime, or some great beauty has taken his fancy, the marriage is over---this despite all of the years she has been the recipient of verbal abuse, humiliations-–this in spite the children they share. All that matters is what the narcissist wants and most have now.

Even though many spouses have grown to despise their narcissistic spouses, they are addicted to the flashy lifestyle, the ability to travel to any corner of the world, to satisfy their needs to purchase whatever they desire, to be noticed as the chosen partner of the golden couple.

Narcissists can make the divorce process unbearable for the soon to be ex-spouse. They play very dirty, lying and manipulating their way through the process. Once the papers are signed, most narcissists are off to their new life with another partner with whom they have been previously involved. The abandoned spouse is often left with limited financial resources and deep emotional and psychological pain. Some ex-spouses put their lives back together after a long journey of self recovery. They recognize that they had been mistaken. They thought they had married someone whom they loved and would reciprocate. Instead they became deluded and lost in the sparkling delusion of the narcissistic lifestyle. To protect yourself from these fateful relationships and to become highly knowledgeable about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation: United States and International

Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life.

Buy the Book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition