Narcissists are always enraged, even when they are smiling at you. Sometimes you can feel it in the intensity of their gaze. They give you that look that goes right through you and you know that the smile is false--painted on. Narcissists smile with their mouths--not with their eyes. The eyes of the narcissist appear to have feeling but are empty. Never be surprised when the narcissist shifts his/her mood from friendly even loving to molten rage. Something deep inside has awakened the volcano and you hear the rumblings and know that yo must get out of the way ---right now.
The best way to deflect narcissistic rage is to steer clear of narcissists. That is difficult today since there are so many of them and they are increasing in numbers. Since we cannot keep away from all of them, we can learn to detach and deflect from the narcissist. The first defense is to learn everything you can about the narcissistic personality. Study deeply so that you understand the narcissist better than anyone else. This is enlightening and will give you power to deal with these individuals from a strong position. Practice the art of learning to relax, to enter the calm environs of the parasympathetic nervous system. Participating in gentle yoga with emphasis on nostril breathing and focusing on calming poses teaches you to focus no matter what else is happening around you. There are other healing modalities as well: meditation--walking a sitting. Acupuncture is very helpful to some individuals. Here healing begins with accessing the parasympathetic nervous system. For the first time you will learn what it feels like to be relaxed and free.
Learn to disengage yourself from the narcissist---his entire person including his rage--which is a defense against his self loathing and emotional emptiness. You will experience the narcissist as a spoiled child--raging in the darkness, creating sound and fury, signifying nothing. You will prevail. Know that about yourself. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life