Narcissists are cleverly manipulative people. They fool almost everyone. They are constantly shifting and changing. When they want something from you, they know exactly how to get it. They are so convincing and persuasive, telling you how special you are, knowing exactly what you want, giving trips and gifts, even offers of marriage.
Narcissists put us through what I call a spin cycle. As the washing machine is finished with its last rinse, the motor revs up, increases velocity and begins to spin. This occurs you feel emotionally vulnerable, physically worn down, the narcissist goes on the attack. Narcissists are high maintenance individuals. They must be the center of attention; they are demeaning and demanding. With their elaborate persona people think they areer wonderful. In private there is always a rage factor with a narcissist, criticisms, humiliations and hyper-perfectionism. Narcissists are control freaks. Th chronically lie in imaginative ways. They lie to your face, eyes unblinking.
In making decision about forming a close relationship with a partner, ask yourself these questions:
1. Is this person emotionally draining most of the time
2. Is this individual capable of listening or is he too in love with the sound of his voice
3. Does he or she has access to his genuine feelings
4. When I'm suffering or in pain, will he stop and be empathic in word and/or behavior
5.Does he or she give me the respect and space to use my creativity, intellectual pursuits, spiritual practice and socialize with close friends.
6. Is this person a source of stability and steadiness in my life.
True partners share themselves openly and are supportive and helpful, especially when we need them.
The bottom line is empathy, compassion, a delightful sense of humor and someone who keeps your best interests at heart. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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