Friday, February 18, 2011

Sons of Narcissistic Mothers-Trapped in a Web of Deceit

Sons of narcissistic mothers who are chosen to be the star of the family, are showered with attention and special privileges. I have communicated with siblings from these families who speak about their role as scapegoats who were treated with cruelty, disdain and neglect. Sons of narcissistic mothers appear to have it all. They are perceived as perfect, superior, incapable of mistakes, given no limits and told they can do whatever they want. This includes perpetrating horrendous cruelties upon their brothers and sisters for which they remain unpunished.

Despite all of the special treatment as the golden child, sons of narcissistic mothers are ensnared by the narcissistic mother's trap. From the time they are very young the narcissistic mother molds this child in her likeness. She does not allow this growing child to be an authentic self. He is treasured for his gifts: handsomeness, charm, intellectual capacity, athletic talent, academic achievement. His uniqueness as a human being is not taken into account. The narcissistic son whom the mother "adores" is caught in a web of deceit.  Narcissistic sons are incapable of being genuine, of forming warm interpersonal relationships, of feeling truly separate and independent of mother. The narcissistic mother adores them and cherishes them strictly by her standards rather than allowing her son to separate and individuate from her and become a whole person who operates from his distinct center.

As a result of his bondage to mother, the narcissist despite his worldly success or achievements, is incapable of forming meaningful relationships. Sons of narcissistic mothers may marry a number of times. That does not mean that they love women. Narcissistic men fear and despise women. This is based on being possessed by mother in their earliest years. Unconsciously, they are furious and feel worthless beneath their grandiose facades and extreme levels of entitlement. Those who feel truly worthy and loved treat others as valued. They do not act or feel superior to anyone else. They celebrate their genuine individuality and are capable of  genuinely loving themselves and others. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon and amazon kindle edition

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