In this blog I am writing about male narcissists who actively participate in victimizing women who are psychologically vulnerable and experience themselves as weak and inadequate. (The same is true about female narcissists.) The life stories of these women are filled with histories of childhood abuse, trauma and neglect. Successful narcissists often have several female partners. This is the perfect picture of the model wife and marriage that fits the image that the narcissist projects on to the world. In private the emotionally vulnerable woman suffers horribly in her marriage to the narcissistic man. Some of them completely lose themselves and become servants of their spouses. They have no life of their own. Many are terrified by the intimidations and humiliations of their husbands. They bow their heads and obey the patriarchal demands of their spouses. They lose themselves in the constant demands, extreme stress and criticisms that befall them every day. These women are trapped. They cannot tolerate living with these men but the thought of leaving them and being on their own is horrifying. They cannot imagine maneuvering through life alone. Their spouses threaten to withdraw any kind of financial support if they threaten to divorce them. While their friends, church groups, business associates and social connections believe that this is a happy couple, the wife is experiencing wrenching distress as a prisoner of her narcissistic spouse. Some narcissistic husbands isolate their spouses and treat them like objects who are at their disposal.
In some fortunate cases the women married to these cruel narcissistic men finally listens to a wake up call, telling her that the psychological suffocation of this relationship is not going to change. It will become worse. Taking themselves in hand, often with the help of close trusted friends, they make the major step to end the marriage to the narcissist and become free for the first time in their lives. After the marriage ends, the wife deals with processing of her myriad of feelings surrounding her dysfunctional marriage. Coming back into the light of life itself, the previously psychologically imprisoned woman, goes through a process of re-acquainting herself with knowing and respecting her own thoughts and feelings. Gradually, with the help of different healing modalities including psychotherapy, meditation, hatha yoga, tai chi, qi gong, etc, these women work through the sufferings of their past relationship, begin to experience a new vitality and freedom and reclaim the lives that they deserve. This is a great victory, won through perseverance, insight, consistency of purpose and an abiding hope that they deserve to lead lives that are unique to them and in which they thrive. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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