When you are having a major anxiety attack, can barely move around because you are very depressed, are having obsessive thoughts day and night-----you are feeling desperate. Every moment is torture. Many of these individuals who are suffering need highly skilled psychotherapy. You are recommended to a therapist by your physician or referred by a friend or have researched psychotherapists in your area. You must get relief; your symptoms are increasing. It is difficult to think clearly. Many individuals who are suffering from severe psychological symptoms go to recommended psychotherapists. Many of these professionals are excellent in their clinical training qualifications, have high ethical standards and are very empathic. They are the fortunate ones. I have had too many contacts with people who have suffered horribly, went to a therapist who was not only incompetent but a narcissistic personality. These are psychotherapists in name, degree and license only. The more desperate you are, the more intrigued they become, especially if you have a generous insurance policy or the money to pay them. Even high level referrals can result in getting a narcissistic therapist. I have seen this happen a number of times.
There is no therapy occurring when you go to a narcissist. These individuals are in the therapy business for money motives, the narcissistic supplies that come with their degrees and clinical training and their area of specialty. It is very important that clients who are desperate have someone whom they can trust to make sure that the psychotherapist recommended will be of high quality professionally and personally. Others can benefit from learning many of the cues that you can detect when you meet a narcissist. First, don't be swayed by the education, credentials or clinical experience of the therapist. This can hold weight certainly. Learning how to identify a narcissistic personality is essential. Is this person self absorbed? Does he or she make a lot of references to himself during the session? Is the therapist making good eye contact and is there a feeling of empathy in the verbal and nonverbal communication from this person to you. Do you feel comfortable and secure in the therapist's presence? Is he listening intently? Do you feel secure and supported in his presence? Is there a noticeable focus on payment? Is the therapist charging exorbitant fees for services? Do you feel free to express yourself and all of your feelings or do you sense judgmental thinking. When tuning into your intuition, do you have a sense that the therapist is encouraging an inordinate emotional dependence on him.Is the therapist increasing the number of sessions per week without giving an explanation.
Narcissistic psychotherapists are smooth operators. They even fool other therapists they are so slick. Non productive "therapy" can go on for years. The only thing that has been accomplished is the increase of the narcissistic therapist's bank account, stock portfolio and other material possessions. You are a means to an end, not a client who deserves respect, empathy and the highest quality of psychotherapy. Learn everything you can about the narcissistic personality disorder. Always trust your intuition. You hold the truth--trust it. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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