Sunday, November 4, 2012

Heal Yourself from Cruelty of Narcissistic Sibling

There are innumerable life stories that I hear about the suffering of adults who were tormented by their narcissistic siblings. They felt helpless and alone. The NS terrorized them to the point where they couldn't tell anyone what they were experiencing. In some dreadful instances the parent was narcissistic and was complicit in these horrendous deeds. The perpetrator was the golden child narcissist chosen by the mother or father to be the perfect one who could do no wrong, didn't develop a conscience, respect for his siblings and had a sense that he/she could do whatever he wanted, including psychological injury to those closest to him/her.  When you were very young you had to survive. You learned to become invisible to the sibling. You knew his/her comings and goings and made sure you stayed out of his/her way. You learned to be alone and to find other places to go, to sneak away from you house that was unsafe, a fear-filled place of haunting and memories of terror.

As an adult you may feel the remnant of this pain that comes through you in waves when this sibling comes to mind. Even now the ugly memories invade your mind.  Know that you can heal from this state of fear and  activate a solid sense of self. Remember you have survived this trauma as a child. First, recognize that you deserve to lead a life where you feel inner peace and emotional security. There are healing practices that you can use to balance your psychological equilibrium. One of them is yoga with emphasis on the breath--a gentle practice. Some individuals benefit from a form of meditation that works for you. Getting in touch with your creativity through journaling, spontaneous writing, sketching, painting, dancing, singing---all of these activities can help you to move forward to reclaim your life. In most instances the sibling who has been victimized needs to sever the relationship with the NS. Remember there never has been a real relationship since narcissists are incapable of any kind of closeness, affection or connectedness. Many siblings go no contact and  find that this is a source of relief. They have ended a very painful chapter in their lives and can now move forward. You deserve this above all--to become the person you were always meant to be. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life


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