Narcissistic Relatives Rampage through Entire Families

Narcissists have neither limits of decency nor respect for other human beings, including family members. One narcissist allowed to bully himself freely over decades can psychologically decimate many members of one family. One of the worst constellations is the mother/father narcissistic duo. Children of these unions have it very tough. Even as small children life is not centered on them. It is all about their selfish, self absorbed, cold and often enraged parents. Children from these families learn survival skills the hard way. It is very painful when they come to the realization that their parents were incapable of genuinely loving them. Those who are more fortunate often turn to an older brother or sister who substitutes as a surrogate parent.These children feel loved and protected by the older sibling and grow knowing there is at least one person they can trust and count on.

In some cases the narcissist is a golden child boy or girl, selected by mother and/or father as superior to all the other family members. He is treated like a member of royalty. All talk and adulation by the parents is about him or her. If this child has talents, is bright or gifted in other ways, he is the center of attention and given everything he wants. Narcissistic parents allow these blooming narcissists to treat their siblings cruelly. They ignore the extreme bullying that chronically occurs and can cause severe psychological damage to the brothers and sisters who are frequent victims of this abuse. The narcissistic parents are oblivious of these dreadful patterns of cruelty. In some cases they join in and belittle the children who are imperfect, taunting them, punishing them unjustly and making their lives absolutely miserable.

Many of the victims of growing up in a narcissistic family spend years in the healing process. Some find that psychotherapy with a skilled empathic clinician helps them to recognize the war zone they have navigated all of their lives. They learn to recognize and appreciate their identities that are separate from the narcissist. In many cases they end any contact with their narcissistic relatives. There are no authentic relationships with narcissists, even if they are your relatives. Discovering and learning to lead their lives on their own terms, opens them to the full use of their gifts and talents and the awareness that they are fully capable of loving others on a deep level. Other modalities of healing can involve various forms of meditation that work for the individual, hatha yoga with emphasis on relaxation and concentration, many forms of exercise that free the mind and strengthen the body. Those who thrive after the narcissistic family wars deserve our congratulations. They have prevailed. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissistic Siblings Can Sabotage Your Life

Are you the the brother or sister of a narcissistic sibling---that golden child that was picked early to be the king, queen, emperor of the household. For many it started very early. The narcissistic mother or father focused on one child who seemed to have it all: good looks, a sharp mind, athletic skills, artistic talent, a winning personality--whatever it was that made this child a standout for the narcissist. Mother and/or father ignored the other children or treated them with punishments, disdain, humiliation and all kinds of cruel behavior. They were the inferiors in the family. In some cases the grandparents chime in and get in line with the parents. The narcissistic household is a war zone. It is pure hell to live in this so-called home. It doesn't get better when you grow up. The sabotage continues and for some becomes impossible. There is so much pain inflicted that some people cannot tolerate it. Some scapegoated children are haunted by their narcissistic siblings well into adulthood.

The best way to deal with narcissistic siblings is to become independent and strong yourself. Learn how to detach yourself from these destructive human beings. Learn everything you can about the narcissistic personality disorder. Give yourself credit for surviving this very difficult narcissistic family constellation. Be kind and supportive of yourself and find friends whom you can trust. And above all, honor yourself as you look forward to a life of creativity, productivity and inner peace. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com