Living with a narcissist there is no psychological climate control. The narcissist seethes at different temperatures. Talk about the cold shoulder, narcissists put you in the deep freeze, ignoring that you exist or giving you the drop dead glare. Some slam doors, thunder like a wildebeest on the bathroom floors. You have done something wrong, very wrong and you're due for punishment. That's what these very disturbed individuals believe. They demand perfection from their spouses and if you don't deliver (and even if you are impeccable in your performance) it's time for retribution. Narcissists rage in Mount St. Helen's style, blowing their tops. This doesn't bother them at all. They can return to their magazine or paper or work as if this eruption never happened. This leaves you shivering with adrenaline rushes and a roiling gut or roaring headache.
Narcissists never think for one moment about the deleterious effects they are having on their spouses or children. Children are terrified by these vituperative outbursts or having to tiptoe around the house when mom or dad is giving everyone the ice treatment. These deep freeze periods can go on for weeks while everyone else in the house is holding his breath and trying to be invisible.
Many spouses conclude that they cannot be tortured any longer and that their children are being traumatized by these pathological behaviors. They make the decision to end the marriage. I hear positive reports from those who have made the decision to permanently end the marriage to the abusive narcissist. Going through the process of divorce isn''t easy but the end result is restoring yourself and your children to a life of freedom.
The psychological and emotional temperature has reached a healthy, consistent range. Here, inner peace is possible, creativity blooms and faith in the present is restored. You can now lead you life on your terms-----Fly-glide----enjoy the glorious view. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle