When you meet a narcissist who fixates on you with fascination you feel like the most important person on the face of the earth. That's how good they are with a masterful act. Narcissists remind me of brilliant performance artists--quick change artists who change from one costume into another faster than the eye can see--illusionists. A German/Armenian duo, Sos and Victoria hold the Guinness Book of Records for this feat: 16 costume changes in 120 seconds.
When you are out of favor with the narcissist you go from:
Indispensable to Disposable
Perfect to Putrid
Beautiful to Repulsive
Bright to Dull
Charming and Magnetic to Thankless Witch (B----)
The narcissist becomes restless again for narcissistic supplies. He has found another partner---your replacement. He will perform a new act to a fan filled audience----They say: "Come to the Cabaret!" This is an illusion. The pain is not. It is very real. When narcissists discard people it can and will go beyond tolerable limits. They don't care whom they hurt or the extenuation of your suffering. They have neither conscience nor shame.
It is up to you to learn to identify in exquisite detail the narcissistic personality so you can recognize one very quickly and remove yourself from their psychologically toxicity. Assert yourself. Recognize and resonate with your own unique value.Renew yourself through a practice of meditation, gentle yoga, restorative yoga and modalities that will quiet and calm the mind, body and psyche. Learn about the narcissistic personality disorder. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Showing posts with label no conscience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label no conscience. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Narcissists-Repackage and Conquer
I have watched the social and professional reincarnations of a variety of narcissists---up close and from afar. Narcissists never stop reaching for their next grandiose goal which always involves their winning and others losing. When I speak of losing, victims of the narcissist are not only financially fleeced but often are robbed of their psychological equilibrium, emotional stability and peace of mind.
Narcissists constantly reinvent themselves. When they have run the table on all of the financial resources, often OPM (other people's money) they make the proper excuses, exit adroitly, lie low for a while and without consequences, doubts, remorse or conscience, conjure up a new scheme. Everyone is a potential victim of the narcissist. He or she is highly skilled at pulling people into to his next "project."
I have known "gifted" narcissists who have gotten people to work for them without pay just so they could be in the hallowed presence of a master manipulator. There are acolytes who will put up with all kinds of abuse, especially if the narcissist has solid gold business connections. Devotees of narcissists, including spouses and very close associates are mesmerized that this one individual can get whatever he/she wants. Narcissists at the top of their game don't need to snap their fingers. They have faithful servants who are so attuned to them they can read the narcissist's mind, know his desires, his mood, what he fancies, how he will orchestrate his next power move, who is in favor, who is out of favor, who will rise, who will fall.
Narcissists have a gift for timing, in business and with people whom they control. They know just when to pull out of a deal and collect the maximum amount of gold before anyone else has had a flicker of a thought about this action. They pretend that they are staying in the game and convincingly lie to everyone that they are a sincere and honest partner. Many months, even years before they have been plotting their exit strategy.
Narcissists have bragged to me about their four year plan, knowing the exact way they will maneuver themselves to the top and then sell out when no one has a hint of suspicion that they have been left holding the bag. Narcissists employ these cycles of deceit throughout their lives. People including their spouses and children are simply objects who have been conveniently placed in their presence for maximum use. When the spouse is exhausted, spent, defeated and wiped out, the narcissist moves on to another carefully selected specimen who will fill the role vacated by the last victim.
Narcissists make "new friends" and court fresh business connections so they can set up their next venture without any remnants of the past. Narcissists live in the future and the present. What they have done that has harmed anyone, including their own flesh and blood is meaningless to them. Narcissists are "so clever" that they have the same peole whom they have cheated come back for more. These inhumane qualities are the language of their identity. This is a difficult concept for non-narcissists to grasp. How can someone exploit other human beings, ruin their lives, and drive them into the ground without hesitation. Because there are vital parts of their psyches that are so defective that allow them to live without conscience, empathy and compassion.
The narcissist has his own standards and values. He knows that he will always win. He will find a way, invent a dark plan so that once again he is on top. He has repackaged, reconstituted himself and conquered once more.
To successfully learn how to specifically recognize and deal with the narcissist's treacherous enticements, invisible traps and seductions, read extensively about the specifics of the narcissistic personality disorder. Visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Narcissists constantly reinvent themselves. When they have run the table on all of the financial resources, often OPM (other people's money) they make the proper excuses, exit adroitly, lie low for a while and without consequences, doubts, remorse or conscience, conjure up a new scheme. Everyone is a potential victim of the narcissist. He or she is highly skilled at pulling people into to his next "project."
I have known "gifted" narcissists who have gotten people to work for them without pay just so they could be in the hallowed presence of a master manipulator. There are acolytes who will put up with all kinds of abuse, especially if the narcissist has solid gold business connections. Devotees of narcissists, including spouses and very close associates are mesmerized that this one individual can get whatever he/she wants. Narcissists at the top of their game don't need to snap their fingers. They have faithful servants who are so attuned to them they can read the narcissist's mind, know his desires, his mood, what he fancies, how he will orchestrate his next power move, who is in favor, who is out of favor, who will rise, who will fall.
Narcissists have a gift for timing, in business and with people whom they control. They know just when to pull out of a deal and collect the maximum amount of gold before anyone else has had a flicker of a thought about this action. They pretend that they are staying in the game and convincingly lie to everyone that they are a sincere and honest partner. Many months, even years before they have been plotting their exit strategy.
Narcissists have bragged to me about their four year plan, knowing the exact way they will maneuver themselves to the top and then sell out when no one has a hint of suspicion that they have been left holding the bag. Narcissists employ these cycles of deceit throughout their lives. People including their spouses and children are simply objects who have been conveniently placed in their presence for maximum use. When the spouse is exhausted, spent, defeated and wiped out, the narcissist moves on to another carefully selected specimen who will fill the role vacated by the last victim.
Narcissists make "new friends" and court fresh business connections so they can set up their next venture without any remnants of the past. Narcissists live in the future and the present. What they have done that has harmed anyone, including their own flesh and blood is meaningless to them. Narcissists are "so clever" that they have the same peole whom they have cheated come back for more. These inhumane qualities are the language of their identity. This is a difficult concept for non-narcissists to grasp. How can someone exploit other human beings, ruin their lives, and drive them into the ground without hesitation. Because there are vital parts of their psyches that are so defective that allow them to live without conscience, empathy and compassion.
The narcissist has his own standards and values. He knows that he will always win. He will find a way, invent a dark plan so that once again he is on top. He has repackaged, reconstituted himself and conquered once more.
To successfully learn how to specifically recognize and deal with the narcissist's treacherous enticements, invisible traps and seductions, read extensively about the specifics of the narcissistic personality disorder. Visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Monday, October 11, 2010
No Conscience Narcissist
Many of those who communicate with me and are spouses, children and siblings of narcissists have a difficult time believing how ugly relationships with narcissists can be. People with a strong conscience often think that everyone else acts with specific notions of right and wrong. The media culture glosses over moral issues when people are powerful, influential and have great financial heft. Major movie, television and recording stars, sport figures and other notables are not held to the same standard of conscience. This culture in many ways has become narcissistic with so much focus and rewards for self absorption, materialism and competitiveness. Physical beauty and handsomeness, fine clothing, expensive cars, opulent homes---have become the markers through which a person's character is measured. Social success in many circles trumps conscience. Doing what is right when you are not being monitored is considered old fashioned and un-cool.
Those who wield the greatest power and have the best connections are lionized as fine human beings. There is a confusion between material success and having high moral standards. Many narcissists present themselves as fine human beings and are believed by their wide social and business circles. Often they are the most duplicitous, manipulative, exploitive and immoral human beings you will ever meet.
I am in communication with a large number of those living with narcissists who tell me about their lack of conscience---the constant lying, the plotting, the betrayals---all qualities of the narcissistic personanlity disorder.
Fortunately, many individuals today recognize that the narcissistic personality is a serious psychopathology that is very unlikely to change. They have learned to identify and protect themselves from these individuals. There is a refreshing wave that is pushing back against the narcissistic "all about me", "no conscience" lifestyle. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Those who wield the greatest power and have the best connections are lionized as fine human beings. There is a confusion between material success and having high moral standards. Many narcissists present themselves as fine human beings and are believed by their wide social and business circles. Often they are the most duplicitous, manipulative, exploitive and immoral human beings you will ever meet.
I am in communication with a large number of those living with narcissists who tell me about their lack of conscience---the constant lying, the plotting, the betrayals---all qualities of the narcissistic personanlity disorder.
Fortunately, many individuals today recognize that the narcissistic personality is a serious psychopathology that is very unlikely to change. They have learned to identify and protect themselves from these individuals. There is a refreshing wave that is pushing back against the narcissistic "all about me", "no conscience" lifestyle. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
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