Many of those who communicate with me and are spouses, children and siblings of narcissists have a difficult time believing how ugly relationships with narcissists can be. People with a strong conscience often think that everyone else acts with specific notions of right and wrong. The media culture glosses over moral issues when people are powerful, influential and have great financial heft. Major movie, television and recording stars, sport figures and other notables are not held to the same standard of conscience. This culture in many ways has become narcissistic with so much focus and rewards for self absorption, materialism and competitiveness. Physical beauty and handsomeness, fine clothing, expensive cars, opulent homes---have become the markers through which a person's character is measured. Social success in many circles trumps conscience. Doing what is right when you are not being monitored is considered old fashioned and un-cool.
Those who wield the greatest power and have the best connections are lionized as fine human beings. There is a confusion between material success and having high moral standards. Many narcissists present themselves as fine human beings and are believed by their wide social and business circles. Often they are the most duplicitous, manipulative, exploitive and immoral human beings you will ever meet.
I am in communication with a large number of those living with narcissists who tell me about their lack of conscience---the constant lying, the plotting, the betrayals---all qualities of the narcissistic personanlity disorder.
Fortunately, many individuals today recognize that the narcissistic personality is a serious psychopathology that is very unlikely to change. They have learned to identify and protect themselves from these individuals. There is a refreshing wave that is pushing back against the narcissistic "all about me", "no conscience" lifestyle. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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