Narcissists Have Short Affection Spans

Narcissists love the ones' they're with. This can mean having several  romantic "relationships" at one time. Narcissists are restless beings--peripatetic--always off to the next thrill, excitement, big win, victory dance, grand party. They are thrill seekers in the human arena even if that means that they are dissembling your life.They are incapable of caring deeply; they cannot love. This is a central piece of them that is missing. A dark hole has invaded their heart and will remain there for the rest of their lives. Regardless of their professional accomplishments, the esteem in which others hold them, their financial thrust, they cannot be human. They are incapable of empathy of any kind. They are masters of pseudo empathy like fine method actors.

Once you identify the man or woman in your life as a narcissistic personality, know that this person is not going to change despite all of the over the top promises, intimidations, cajolings, gifts, guises and dramatic performances. 

It is up to you to make a decision for your life. That's what matters. You have the knowledge, strength and wisdom to unyoke yourself from the narcissist. You have many brothers and sisters in spirit who are waiting to hear and see your victory dance. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation:United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
 

Narcissistic Spouse Ripping You to Shreds

Piece by piece, some small others large, your narcissistic spouse is ripping your apart psychologically and attempting to destroy your singular life. When we are married we expect some autonomy. This is not possible with a narcissistic partner. They are fused with husband/wife even when they are having affairs, ignoring your feelings, pretending like you don't exist. You are their possession to be used according to their delusional whims and obsessions. When you put you life's fate in with a narcissist you have made a deal with the devil. Many spouses who remain in these relationships decades later look back at what has become of their lives. They are worn out, depressed, lack energy and hope and feel desperate much of the time. Every once in a while they will have a crumb dropped on them out of the blue by the narcissistic partner. "Let's take a trip, dear." "I bought this outfit just for you." Let's go out to dinner, just the two of us." Often these are empty promises to bring you back into their camp---prison camp. Many go for this bait time after time.

The narcissist is not going to change---ever. You are married to a severe fixed personality disorder. You are the one who will make the decisions and the changes. You cannot trust the narcissist to do what he/she says in a moment of conjuring up the early days of glowing seduction and no limits life possibilities.

You now see through the delusion but are afraid to leave the narcissist. Many with whom I have been in contact, reach inside and make the decision to sever the marriage and reclaim their lives. This is a tremendous challenge but those who have made this step report that now they lead their own lives and are not overshadowed by the narcissist's possessiveness, intimidations, humiliations, betrayals and exploitations. Take heart, you can turn on to a different pathway and lead the life to which you are entitled. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

One Narcissist Causes Pain to an Entire Family

If you know the narcissistic personality disorder well, especially if you have divorced one of these individuals or been on the receiving end of a narcissistic parent, you know that this one person can cause extreme stress and psychological pain among the members of an entire family. Everyone surrounded by the narcissist's destructive traits---chronic lying, deception, betrayal, manipulation, exploitation, emotional sabotage---is highly aware of the severe damage that this highly pathological individual can wreak. Narcissists do not care who you are--a stranger, an acquaintance, a close family member, even a child. If you get in their way, they will intimidate, threaten and retaliate if you buck their wills of steel. Some family members make excuses for these horrific people. "Oh that's just the way he is---a perfectionist." But he is so bright and accomplished--cut him some slack." Really----I don't think so when this person is running roughshod over the minds, hearts and psyches of those closest to him. No one person has the right to invade your boundaries, demean you, humiliate you or taunt and terrorize you. I don't care what this individual has accomplished in the world, how much power he wields, or the size of his material largess.

We are at a time right now when narcissists are applauded because they are so driven---yes they move ahead trampling on everyone else. This is despicable behavior and will not be tolerated. Those who have suffered under this treacherous treatment write about the terrors and tortures they have endured under the sadism of one narcissist. This happens all of the time but most people remain unaware of the severe psychological and emotional damage this one highly disturbed person has caused. Become fully aware of the nature of the narcissistic personality psychopathology. Listen to those who have suffered under its iron boot and merciless treatment. If you have a havoc wreaking narcissist in your family, you may have to make a 180 turn away and sever the relationship. I know this can be difficult but remember this severe personality disorder does not change. The quality of your life--psychological, emotional, physical, spiritual--is invaluable. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Break the Narcissistic Tie that Binds You

Those who suffer in marriages to narcissists are tied to their spouses by intricate knots. Many of them are too attached to the lifestyle to let go. They may despise their mate but they cannot give up the perks and comfort of financial stability, luxury and social prominence. Other spouses who are not leading lives at this material  level, nevertheless, are convinced that this is their partner for life. Whenever they make up their minds to leave this abusive environment, they remind themselves of the "good times" they have spent with their partners and reverse themselves.This is part of the massive denial that the spouse of a narcissist uses to stay with her mate. Often the family backgrounds of these spouses is abusive and the partner experiences the repetition of maltreatment as "normal" and familiar. They have been accustomed since childhood to being on constant alert for blowups, violent scenes, neglect and verbal criticism.

Many spouses of narcissists get to the breaking point of recognizing that staying with this individual is injurious to their mental and physical health. They realize that they are imprisoned in the narcissist's delusions and controlled by someone who is cruel and ruthless---incapable of empathy or compassion.

The tie to the narcissist loosens as the partner recognizes that he or she is no longer willing to be treated in such an egregious manner. The wish to become free, to break this pathological bond becomes stronger.
Finally, many spouses make the decision to sever the relationship and to breathe the air of psychological freedom. Eventually they are grateful for taking this courageous step. Their lives belong to themselves. They are unencumbered by the lies, deceptions and cruelties of the narcissist. Finally, they feel the joy and exuberance that accompanies "being themselves", often for the first time in their lives. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyoulife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com