Monday, November 15, 2010

Narcissist's Bogey Man - Chronic Paranoia

We all have irrational suspicions and fears that someone is trying to harm us psychologically either directly or covertly. At times there are forces at work in people known and unknown to us who do not wish us well.  They are envious and enraged. They want what we have. They think about how they can disrupt our lives to throw us off stride. This can happen between individuals or within groups and the most potent source, the psychodynamics within our families. 

Suspicions and paranoia are fundamentally different. Suspicion is a diffuse, vague feeling of  unease, uncertainty that we are not quite safe. Paranoia, which means "madness" in Greek  is a condition of severe anxiety even terror that we are going to be harmed or destroyed by another person or group. Paranoia is driven by delusional thoughts that the individual is being persecuted and that harm to them is inevitable. 

It seems counter-intuitive that the narcissist is a closet paranoid when we see him or her tackling the world with an extreme sense of self entitlement, perfection, supreme self confidence.

"Inside, he (the narcissist) is paranoid, tormented by anticipated attacks of perceived enemies. These core suspicions are the remnants of hidden, cold, aggressive internal parental images that he experiences as persecutors." (from Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life). The inner world of the narcissist is dangerous, filled with psychological booby traps and bogeymen. He/she never feels safe. The narcissist lives with fear and dread--waiting for real or imagined enemies to do him in. He's constantly watches his back despite the opposite image that he shows the world. Added to this mix is the real enemies that the narcissist creates as he rampages through the lives of others. Narcissists steal our lives if we let them. They are psychological thieves day and night. They will weaken you psychologically, drain your financial stability, isolate you from your friends and disrupt your life creatively, physically and spiritually. Remember that the narcissist is a severe fixed personality disorder who is very unlikely to change. He/she is ruthless and in some instances, treacherous. While he moves through the world, taking what he wants, acting out without limits, deep inside, he lives in deep fear of being harmed---in a state of paranoia.

To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder and how to deal with these individuals, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: and amazon kindle edition

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