Thursday, August 11, 2011

Narcissistic Spouses-Their Exit Strategy for You

The military uses the term exit strategy to describe how to leave the battlefield after a strategic objective is achieved or as a method of direction to avoid failure.  In a spousal relationship with a narcissist, it isn't surprising that the narcissistic partner has planned how he will exit the marriage. Narcissists can feel highly attracted to a particular woman and decide to make the leap forward to marriage. But they always have their own reasons in their back pocket.  Marriages for them are arrangements, like business deals. They have looked you over ---You are attractive enough or beautiful and will create the right image for this man. How long will you reign as his consort? ----As long as you can continue to provide him with  the narcissistic supplies that he requires. These take many forms. If you are a successful professional and very well connected this adds to his resume as well. If you family is prominent socially and part of the upper echelons of society, this is a huge plus. If you will fit in as part of his adoring entourage and wait on him like a docile servant and even have a couple of children with him to create future narcissists like him----all the better. Despite the well acted romance, the gifts, the excitement of the lifestyle he sets out before you, there will come a time certain when you will be out of the picture. He may not divorce you formally but his straying eyes and his insatiable appetite for power and money and influence will carry him in other directions and it won't be yours. After all, narcissists are never true or loyal to those they brought to the party. Even on the day of the wedding it would not be surprising that their eyes are coveting the face and body of a guest whom they are considering for a future tryst. Yes, that's how brazen and cold these individuals are. To protect yourself from embroiling yourself in one of these excruciating scenarios, study the narcissistic personality in depth. If you unwittingly marry a narcissist, be clear and firm about  your exit strategy before you have done a lot of damage to your psyche and stock portfolio. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book:, Barnes and Nobel bookstores and online, etc

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