Whether they are a spouse, child, sister, brother, ex-spouse, mother, father---narcissists can never be trusted. They are so convincing with their smooth talk, their nonverbal gestures that tell you they are completely sincere and on your side. Narcissists are masters of deceit. They are consummate actors. As they lie and manipulate they can even convince you going against your own intuitive sense of what is the truth.
There is a pattern that develops with those who are married to narcissists. For decades the non-narcissists continues to convince herself/himself that spouse is going through a difficult time, has demeaned you and caused tremendous suffering through verbal abuse and empty promises so that all of these cruel behaviors can be put aside. It's time for a fresh start, the non-narcissistic spouse tells herself: He's under a lost of stress. He's been so wonderful to me at different times. Why can't I put all of these cruelties aside and only think about the positives in the relationship. Narcissistic parents are famous for reneging on their commitments to their own children. The child is let down time after time, bouncing back and forth believing what their parent is saying and knowing that they cannot count on their parent to tell the truth.
The narcissist is a false grandiose self that can never be authentic or truthful. As a child the narcissist was molded into a fraudulent human being who focused on proving his superiority to others and winning at all costs. This includes spouses and children. Narcissists treat those closest to them as objects to be manipulated. They are always deceptive and therefore can never be trusted.
To move forward with your life after leaving the narcissist's world, learn to appreciate your integrity, truth-seeking and the fact that in all of your relationships you can be trusted and relied upon. In our current narcissistic society, these characterlogical qualities are rare and invaluable. Don't be swayed by narcissistic glitter----it is a superficial display. Find those who are deserving of your trust and respect. These relationships become strong and solid. Each person is assisting the other to move forward toward expanding a more solid sense of self. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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