Sunday, September 4, 2011

Narcissistic Golden Boy Sons and Mothers They Love to Hate

Narcissistic golden boys are created not born. Often they are the progeny of narcissistic mothers. One of the family patterns creates a pathological triangle between father, mother and son. Some narcissistic mothers spend their lives devoted to the male they love the most---their narcissistic son. The narcissistic mother has never loved her husband. He was hand picked by her as a vehicle for enhancing her illustrious self image. If he is a specialist in medicine and at the top professionally---a cardiologist, prominent surgeon, esteemed neurologist or psychiatrist, a stellar scientist, inventor, entrepreneur--this woman has assured herself of an identity, an image that will constantly be providing her ego with narcissistic supplies. She has placed herself at the center of prestige and power. Her marriage is a business arrangement, She doesn't love this male creature .He is a treasure she has been plotting for and seeking all of her life, a stepping stone to her greatness. Her individual stock rises with marriage to a man of superior achievement and extraordinary power reach and prestige.

Much more than her marriage to the prominent man, the narcissistic mother puts her focus from the time of infancy on her prized son. If she has other children they are treated differently from this golden being, the source of the joy and purpose of her life. This psychological fusion between mother and son doesn't work for the other family members.They are often treated abusively or at minimum are demeaned and dismissed by their narcissistic mothers.

As the golden boy narcissistic son grows he gathers even greater psychological control of his mother. He has been given everything by her---admiration, benefits of a great education, treatment as a human godlike figure. The golden boy narcissist consciously believes that he is superior to his siblings and his father.Beneath the surface is a mother's darling who despises his mother on an unconscious level. He feels psychologically trapped by the adoring matriarch. Deep down the GB narcissistic son despises his mother. Often he seeks revenge by plotting and taking control of the family finances, leaving his siblings without an inheritance  or any financial stability. He watches them writhe with pain and views them at pitiful, incompetent failures. 

Another consequence of these pathological relationships is the narcissist's deep hatred of women. He appears to adore them with all of his affairs and numerous marriages. The treat their wives brutally with constant criticisms, sadistic rages and the imposition of constant overwhelming stress. These men are impossible marriage partners.

Psychologically the GB narcissist has been emasculated by the narcissistic mother. He is emotionally empty inside, incapable of any form of intimacy or empathy. In the end these GB narcissists continue to hate their narcissistic mothers and unconsciously hate themselves. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book:, Barnes and Noble, widely distributed in book form and e-books

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