I have actually witnessed a woman married to a narcissistic spouse in a restaurant, cutting up her narcissistic husband's steak in perfect bite size pieces. She sat there throughout the meal, hanging on his every word. These women believe they have made a good bargain. Some of them have financial security which is crucial to them and they are willing to pay for it with their lives.
Narcissistic husbands have rules that their wives must obey. They are part of his elaborate image that keeps his ego inflated.
Being married to a narcissist narrows your mind and your life. Some wives learn to detach psychologically and pursue their own careers but this is not a marriage is a business arrangement.
Married to a narcissist you are living each day in the sympathetic nervous system. Hyper vigilant, apprehensive---you can never let down in your fight or flight mode. To preserve your psychological and emotional well being you need to learn to switch to the parasympathetic nervous system of calm, relaxation and ease.
Married to a narcissistic husband you are expendable, Even you have have been with him for fifteen to twenty years, it is very possible that your spouse has been cheating a you a number of times. Narcissists change partners and find women who are younger, more exciting and desirable to them. They need trophies not wives.
If you make the decision to separate from your narcissistic husband your healing begins. Some women seek high quality professional psychotherapy and find it very helpful. Be sure to take the time to find a good therapist. Interview several. Cardiovascular exercise is an excellent way to increase your stamina, strength, obtain endorphins which lift the mood and to gain a sense of inner peace. Gentle hatha yoga with its emphasis on the breath calms the body, mind and spirit. Some spouses that daily or weekly journaling offers them a cathartic way to express their feelings and thoughts openly, creatively and freely that is part of their renewed lives. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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