Have you ever tried questioning a narcissistic physician? You may not have known in the beginning that this demi-god was a narcissist. With tremendous confidence and presence and walls covered with diplomas from the finest institutions of medicine, why would you ever suspect that the man or woman standing before you is so narcissistic that he/she believes that he can never be wrong--not in the consultation room, examining room, reading medical reports, in the emergency room, in the surgical suite.
There are incredibly skilled and ethical physicians and surgeons that perform impeccably as professionals and save and reconstruct lives with their expertise, deep understanding of the human body and mind and their total dedication to their patients.
I am speaking about narcissists who became doctors because they knew very early in their lives that was where the money, power, control over others, perks and admiration was centered. Did these narcissists want to become primary care doctors. Of course not. They knew exactly where they were going--to the specialties--radiology, orthopaedics, oncology, plastic surgery, anesthesiology, etc. There are some highly gifted, dedicated specialists who are not narcissists and care deeply about their patients. We need them.
I have heard too many life stories from the wives and husbands of narcissistic doctors who have spent years sustaining one form of abuse after another--mental, psychological, emotional, physical. They are demeaned, humiliated, criticized constantly. They have children and hope that this will bring the narcissist closer to them--by creating a family. Narcissistic doctors like all narcissists love the look of the perfect family tableau. This is an intricate part of their narcissistic supply.But they cannot be hands on--Take the beautiful family portrait, put it in a prominent place to be seen. Yes there are trips and treks but all of this is run by the narcissist. In some cases there are generations of narcissistic physicians. Most people are so in awe of doctors that they would never think that they could be wrong---gravely wrong!
I know of too many mis-diagnoses by narcissistic physicians. There are incorrect diagnoses by non-narcissistic doctors. In the case of the narcissists, they will find a way not to be wrong at all costs. If a family member asks them a question, watch out. You will be put in your place. Narcissistic doctors know how to whittle most people down to size. You are not most people. You are an intelligent, thoughtful, caring human being and have a right to seek and know the truth about your medical condition or as an advocate for someone else. Don't sell yourself short. I have seen first hand instances in which the researching lay person knew the diagnosis and the narcissistic doctor was in error (and would never admit it). Some narcissistic doctors go for the quick fix---not the cause. That bores them. They want to get on to the next patient, the next intricate procedure or surgery that will make them feel even more superior---stratospheric.
Trust your wisdom and your intuition. Don't let anyone manipulate or intimidate you---especially a narcissistic doctor. If you are the patient, remember it is your life and welfare, not theirs. If you are an advocate, stand strong and be clear about your right to ask questions and receive highly informed detailed answers. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life