Saturday, March 3, 2012

Narcissistic Men---Love the One You're With

Well there's a rose in a fisted glove  
And the eagle flies with the dove  
And if you can't be with the one you love, honey 
Love the one you're with  
You gotta love the one you're with  
You gotta love the one you're with...
(Crosby, Stills and Nash)

Narcissists make you believe that they love and adore you when you first meet them if they are attracted or if you meet the specifications for a gigantic narcissistic supply. High level narcissists are extraordinary actors. They can be absolutely irresistible. It is impossible for most people to say  "no" to them. Many women cannot disconnect from the narcissist despite all of the psychological pain. Some of them become addicted to the lifestyle if the guy has money. In other instances the abused woman is psychologically deluded by her partner. Narcissists are purveyors of empty promises. The abused woman keeps telling herself that next time---the following week, month---this spouse or boyfriend will have changed. Narcissists have a severe fixed personality disorder that does not change. Besides, why should they? They ruthlessly get whatever they want.  They cajole, threaten, intimidate and exploit anyone they have to to win- Winning is everything to narcissists and if it takes revenge, it tastes sweet in their mouths. 

Narcissistic men have many compartmentalized "relationships." They are married in name only. It is not unusual for them to juggle several women at once. They are addicted to the next new thing and often that is a new woman---they are loving the one they're with. Actually they are incapable of love or genuine caring. Narcissists are shallow and psychologically empty.

Protect yourself from the narcissist who is giving you the full push toward him. ---Don't become the next woman playing the role of  Love the One You're With. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

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