Saturday, March 3, 2012

Narcissistic Unempathic Therapists

It doesn't matter how many degrees a psychotherapist, psychiatrist, counselor or psychoanalyst has on his or her walls. Completing internships and residences at the highest level institutions does not make an individual an excellent therapist. The degrees and licenses tell you that the person has complete a specific course of study and has passed the exams. You do not know what is deep inside this person until you start interacting with them. Even with excellent referrals, you may find that a therapist is competent but  his temperament and disposition is not the right fit for you.  

There are narcissistic psychotherapists who put on their act of treating clients. They are after the money and prestige badges. The pretend that they care about your psychological pain living with a narcissistic spouse or family member. It becomes clear that at times they don't believe you. They will impose their perspectives on to you and start blaming you for the pain that you are experiencing. The client feels hurt and confused. Narcissistic psychotherapists project their unconscious feelings and thoughts on to their clients. They are highly controlling. When you leave their office you feel you have been put down and demeaned. Many clients continue to blame themselves for the tact that they are not making progress--in fact they feel worse than they did before the start of the therapy. Actually this is not psychotherapy. It is the imposition of the narcissistic psychotherapist's will upon his/her client. If the person who has come for help is at a very low ebb this process can continue for some time. The client believes that the therapist is the authority and continues to attend sessions due to their desperation. They have always felt that they are wrong and defective. The further projection of these ideas on to the client victim reinforces their feelings of worthlessness. The client is paying to be punished by an incompetent, punitive narcissistic professional who is a fraud.

Protect yourself from narcissistic psychotherapists. Interview therapists very carefully in addition to checking their formal credentials. Pay close attention to how you feel in this person's presence. Is it welcoming, nonjudgmental and does it put you at ease. Does the therapist listen to you intently. You will have an intuitive sense that this individual possesses genuine empathy. Do you suspect a control or money issue in this individual? Does the therapist talk about himself during the session, take telephone calls, lack good eye contact, appear angry and irritated with you? Is the therapist gouging you for the sessions?

You will find a psychotherapist who is not narcissistic. Be willing to take time to interview several therapists and learn about the narcissistic personality. Visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

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