I have been told this story too many times. "When I was little I looked up to my older sister. She was so smart and very pretty. I liked to watch her and always wanted to be like her. She treated me pretty well when I was very young but then she became very involved with her friends and forgot about me completely. I was not born pretty.I did ok in school but I was not a superior student like my sister. Mom constantly asked me why I couldn't be more like her. "We don't know what to do with you. Susan (my older sister) is such a great role model. She is superior at school and very popular with the kids. What's the matter with you. You don't see to have any friends and your grades are only fair."
On and o these wounding words go to the daughter who is not golden or chosen and who is constantly bombarded by the narcissistic mother telling her how inferior she is.
As the narcissistic sister grows, her ego gets bigger, her ruthlessness harsher, her vanity greater, her sense of superiority tremendous.
Often narcissistic mothers of these star daughters join forces to make the non-narcissistic daughter' life absolutely miserable. These forgotten and abused daughters want to disappear on the spot. They are so ashamed of themselves, feel so inferior. This not their fault. This is the extreme cruelty of the narcissistic mothers and older sister duo and their dirty work.
Some non-narcissistic daughters find their way out of these psychological prisons. Others don't. They keep blaming themselves for not being perfect, not being good enough , not being their older sister.
If your are this younger daughter, recognize and appreciate the struggle you have been through. You have survived. Now it is time to claim your individuality, your creative gifts, to resonate with yourself as unique and valuable. Healing modalities like gentle yoga and meditation are practices that calm the mind and nervous system so you are in touch with a self that is at peace. Some benefit from high quality psychotherapy. Choose your therapist after a lot of research and interview several until you find the right one. Expand and deepen your unique self. Learn to love yourself. Treat yourself with respect and bring joy into your life. Expand and deepen your consciousness and your horizons. You deserve to lead a life that belongs to you. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition