Narcissistic members of families don't recognize that they are creating a living tragedy for their children. The lack insight and empathy--those qualities which make us human and humane. Living as a false self who is so filled with himself that no one else can breathe, the narcissist goes about destroying the dreams of others, especially those close to him/her. He would be a fool and a fake if people were capable of seeing who this person really is. Most individuals are incapable of recognizing a narcissist, especially a very high level one.
The narcissistic mother or father rules the household in every respect. Narcissistic mother is the dark queen. When she speaks, glares or nods everyone comes to attention. Her presence is formidable. Adult children of narcissists tell chilling stories of their years of imprisonment with these dreadful parents. Living in a narcissistic household, you are not allowed to have a mind of your own and if you do keep it to yourself or you'll get smacked physically or psychologically. Some narcissistic mothers send children away to other relatives and abandon them there if they don't conform to the rigid family rules. Above all the narcissistic parent must be adored and obeyed at all times. The great tragedy of being the child of a narcissist is that you are being forced to take on the trappings, the personality traits, the gestures, even the outward appearance demanded by the narcissistic parent. Mother tells you where you will go to school. When you show your gifts and talents--you are treated with disdain and ridicule. Narcissistic mothers make cruel remarks and even laugh at their child. It is almost impossible for anyone to understand the outright treachery that takes place within these very sick and dysfunctional families. And it doesn't stop when the children grow up. They keep hammering at you, screaming their demands, accusing you of transgressions that are the product of their delusional distorted minds.
You can and will survive your narcissistic family. I have communicated with many who have. It has been a long but worthwhile journey. These individuals are extraordinary in their psychological strength, stamina and the unwillingness to give up or give in. Many have been helped by becoming involved in practices that still the mind and psyche. They have learned finally that there are individuals whom they can trust and love. They now live and grow on their own terms. They have my deepest respect. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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