There are many perfect narcissistic couples. I'm talking about the way these individuals perceive and define themselves. The are often very attractive physically, well educated, successful professionally and have a special circle of ' "important friends and social connections."
One of the common patterns of couplings is between the middle aged narcissistic man (over fifty) and his very youthful narcissistic wife (early twenties). From the narcissistic point of view this could be seen as an excellent arrangement. The young woman is entranced with her sophisticated mature very successful spouse. The male narcissist is thrilled to present his young dewy flawless wife to everyone near and far. She represents an image of youthful beauty and prime sexuality that enhances the narcissist's image in his world. It proves that he is very desirable and reinforces his perception of consummate manliness.
The narcissistic spouse when he chooses just the right young woman can mold her in the the perfect image that he requires as part of his persona. He shows her off in his social and public life like a gorgeous living object. She bears the promise within her of prospective children. He may have several wives whom he has discarded and grown children but this is irrelevant to him. For the middle aged narcissist this represents a new beginning that is exciting---a new project in human form that he can manipulate and use for his purposes. The young narcissistic bride has her advantages. She believes that this guy adores her. Her flesh is smooth; her face is unlined and perfectly taut; her eyes like her breasts are sensually lifted naturally due to her youthfulness. If she plays it right, she will control and manipulate this man sexually and gain power over his financial resources. She will share a lifestyle she has drempt about most of her life.
These marriage between narcissists are not genuine even though they may be dripping with romance, allure and excitement. This mutual admiration is not going to last. Narcissists are incapable of giving and receiving love. God help the children they produce--mother and father narcissists!
This partnering speaks so loudly about the narcissistic males fear of aging. This is the ultimate nightmare for these personality disorders. They are incapable of introspection or change of any kind that is internal and thoughtful. To prove that he is not aging, these men find young wives that keep them looking youthful from a cosmetic point of view. Many of them have extensive plastic surgeries to ensure that they have a refreshed young appearance despite their chronological years.
These marriages are based on superficial values and delusional beliefs. These partnerships are like spun sugar-sparkle on the outside---empty on the inside. As the society becomes more narcissistic we will see more of these May-December pairings. Fortunately there are innumerable marriages and partnerships that are authentic, devoted, compassionate and committed to a shared love and deep respect for one another. They will always go the distance and beyond by their actions and loving-kindness to demonstrate each day that this person they call spouse or partner is dear to them in the most profound ways. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: Amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
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