Some adults still suffer from the trauma they experienced as small children as a result of the brutality of a narcissistic older sister. From the beginning the younger child was frightened, even from babyhood. Often parents tend to ignore these activities or don't even notice them because THEY ARE DONE IN SECRET. When the baby cries the older sister makes an excuse and says that the baby is fussy or hungry. So many parents, especially those who are narcissistic and completely fixated on their own precious lives, believe this narcissistic monster child of theirs. These terrifying and traumatizing incidents can occur hundreds of times throughout the victim's childhood and the perversity and cruelty of the narcissistic older sister is never addressed. The victimized child has been living in a war zone of covert and overt activity all of her life. As they grow older, the victimized child often find ways of being invisible. She leaves the house frequently to be with friends, goes to the library or even finds good hiding places in the house. There have been horrendous occasions when the older sister has invited friends over when the parents are not home for the sole purpose of taunting and terrorizing the younger siblings. I have known of cases of small children lock in closets, forced to eat food that made them sick, being the object of cruel jokes, placed in the dark while tied with rope. These memories do not fade. Even as adults daughters victimized by narcissistic older sister still cringe at the thoughts of what happened to them and especially that no one, especially a parent had any awareness of these horrendous ongoing patterns of physical, psychological and emotional abuse.
As adults the victimized child often decides to sever her relationship with the narcissistic perpetrator. All she has known from this person is the infliction of terror, humiliation and abuse. Narcissistic parents often blame the victim and rally around the narcissistic older sister since she is the golden chosen one who can do no wrong. In these cases the child who has suffered so much leaves her entire family behind. Many of them are able to benefit from skilled psychotherapy, learn to trust and form an therapeutic alliance with the therapist and begin to heal from a form of post traumatic stress they have experienced for many years. In the process of healing, many of these individuals discover the value of their true selves and learn to appreciate and nurture themselves as well as finding people they can trust and form close relationships. The road to healing has many ups and downs but on the other side is leading life that you have always deserved. Finally you feel secure and at peace; you have the energy and strength to recognize and apply your special creative gifts and to fulfill your great potential. You deserve our deepest respect and honor. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Showing posts with label children of narcissistic parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children of narcissistic parents. Show all posts
Monday, December 5, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Narcissistic Siblings--Their Domestic Reign of Terror
There are innumerable painful stories of severe psychological and emotional abuse perpetrated by a narcissistic brother or sister during childhood upon their siblings. The intimidations, barbed criticisms and humiliations are rampant in these households. In these families one or both parents is a narcissist and tends to side with the narcissistic child. This creates an unending emotional climate and siege and danger in the home.
The sensitive non-narcissistic child faces perpetual assaults from the sadistic narcissistic brother or sister. In some cases other children in the family are too afraid of this cruel narcissist and join in on the bullying and terrorizing of the innocent, very vulnerable sibling. The psychological damage left behind is immense. Victims of this abusive treatment spend much of their childhoods in a state of terror. Many of them find ways to hide in their own homes. They know that neither mother nor father will protect them from ongoing verbal bombardment. The victimized child is left alone to protect himself, know that no one, not any member of his family will come to his rescue. He feels and is all alone. Narcissistic parents who allow one child to terrorize another year after year are despicable human beings. A child brutalized by this form of imprisonment often learn to numb out emotionally to protect himself.
There are adult victims of these highly dysfunctional family constellations including sadistic narcissistic brothers and sisters who survive to tell the tale. Many of them find ways to stay away from home if at all possible. Others leave the house early and live with friends and their families. Often these victimized siblings are not believed and discover that not only did they have to endure the abuse, they are now being with disrespect and ridicule and accused of being a liar when they speak the truth about their narcissistic sibling. This is especially the case if the narcissistic siblings has achieved "professional or worldly success" with a capital "S". Many of these children end up severing their relationships with their narcissistic sibling and and narcissistic parent(s.)They say No to more narcissistic abuse. They have won the battle against the narcissistic family to become, they they have value as separate individuals. I hear from adult children who bore the ugliness of having a sadistic narcissistic sibling and often narcissistic parents. After study on their own, they have learned that the narcissistic personality is fixed, that narcissists are psychologically brutal and most importantly, that they have now reclaimed their lives and are free to be their unique selves. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, online book stores, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
The sensitive non-narcissistic child faces perpetual assaults from the sadistic narcissistic brother or sister. In some cases other children in the family are too afraid of this cruel narcissist and join in on the bullying and terrorizing of the innocent, very vulnerable sibling. The psychological damage left behind is immense. Victims of this abusive treatment spend much of their childhoods in a state of terror. Many of them find ways to hide in their own homes. They know that neither mother nor father will protect them from ongoing verbal bombardment. The victimized child is left alone to protect himself, know that no one, not any member of his family will come to his rescue. He feels and is all alone. Narcissistic parents who allow one child to terrorize another year after year are despicable human beings. A child brutalized by this form of imprisonment often learn to numb out emotionally to protect himself.
There are adult victims of these highly dysfunctional family constellations including sadistic narcissistic brothers and sisters who survive to tell the tale. Many of them find ways to stay away from home if at all possible. Others leave the house early and live with friends and their families. Often these victimized siblings are not believed and discover that not only did they have to endure the abuse, they are now being with disrespect and ridicule and accused of being a liar when they speak the truth about their narcissistic sibling. This is especially the case if the narcissistic siblings has achieved "professional or worldly success" with a capital "S". Many of these children end up severing their relationships with their narcissistic sibling and and narcissistic parent(s.)They say No to more narcissistic abuse. They have won the battle against the narcissistic family to become, they they have value as separate individuals. I hear from adult children who bore the ugliness of having a sadistic narcissistic sibling and often narcissistic parents. After study on their own, they have learned that the narcissistic personality is fixed, that narcissists are psychologically brutal and most importantly, that they have now reclaimed their lives and are free to be their unique selves. To learn about the narcissistic personality disorder in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, online book stores, etc.
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Sociopathic Narcissists Harm Their Children
The sociopathic narcissist appears in innumerable disguises. Since childhood they are been refining a persona that is magnetic, charming and irresistible to others. They study human nature, understand emotional vulnerabilities and know precisely whom and when to attract those individuals who will fulfill their wishes and desires. Early on this child learned directly from the parent, that life was all about winning in all of its forms--money, prestige, praise, fame, material acquisitions, competing and winning at the top tiers of power. There are parents who program their small children to become successful, compete and defeat others who are in their way and teach them to be ruthless and uncaring as long as they reach their goals. Children are taught to take a "no prisoners" attitude about other human beings. If someone cannot perform for you and get you directly to your goal, discard them. If they are in your way, make their life so miserable that they can no longer compete with you. If they persist, find cunning methods to destroy their reputations, financial security and emotional well being. These lessons are taught early and they resonate deeply in the child.
Some children of sociopathic narcissists have access to an inner part of themselves who intuitively knows that what the parent is demanding of them is wrong and inconsistent with their own nature. I have heard many stories of grown children who bucked the narcissistic parent and suffered the consequences. They were quickly discarded psychologically and cut permanently out of the family circle.
The spouse of the sociopathic narcissist is often complicit through her psychological weakness, her addiction to a certain lifestyle and her fear of being cast out of paradise. She is so distressed and feels incapable of leading an independent life, that she colludes with the sociopathic narcissist who controls the family.
Some children in these families become sociopathic narcissists like mom or dad. After all, this is the family tradition and heritage. They often learn to outdo the parent and become even more ruthless, unethical and conniving than their original teacher. Children in these families who do not follow the "winning at any cost" rules are left on their own without support of any kind. Mother or father won't pay for their educations, demeans them constantly and undermine their individuality and creativity. The pain that these discarded children suffer is extreme. Many of them leave home early in their midteens to look for ways to survive. They are estranged from the siblings that went along with the narcissistic parent, These siblings despise the ones who were cast out and do everything they can to make their lives miserable. There is no opportunity for a "prodigal son or daughter" reunion with the narcissistic parent. The familial doors have been locked and the compound is sealed off.
Those who survive the sociopathic narcissistic parent have a long hard scrabble road ahead of them. I have communicated with these adult children. They endured many psychological and monetary harsh winters of striving to just get the bare necessities. For many, the wounds of childhood are still raw and painful. Others persevere through arduous work and schooling (every cent paid by them alone) to achieve their professional goals. As adults many of these individuals have difficulty finding partners who are supportive and empathic. Some fall in love with narcissists and sociopathic narcissists. They end up repeating the torments of childhood. This demonstrates the depth of pain the child of such parents experienced. They were never protected or cherished or felt special and valued. It is not surprising that they would find partners who would treat them with disrespect, cruelty and contempt.
Some of these adult children break the cycle of self harm and sever their relationship with the sociopathic narcissist. They redefine themselves, develop a sense of self entitlement and renew themselves as individuals who have moved beyond the pain of their family of origin and into a life that they deserve where there is hope, self initiative, inner peace and psychological and emotional freedom. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Some children of sociopathic narcissists have access to an inner part of themselves who intuitively knows that what the parent is demanding of them is wrong and inconsistent with their own nature. I have heard many stories of grown children who bucked the narcissistic parent and suffered the consequences. They were quickly discarded psychologically and cut permanently out of the family circle.
The spouse of the sociopathic narcissist is often complicit through her psychological weakness, her addiction to a certain lifestyle and her fear of being cast out of paradise. She is so distressed and feels incapable of leading an independent life, that she colludes with the sociopathic narcissist who controls the family.
Some children in these families become sociopathic narcissists like mom or dad. After all, this is the family tradition and heritage. They often learn to outdo the parent and become even more ruthless, unethical and conniving than their original teacher. Children in these families who do not follow the "winning at any cost" rules are left on their own without support of any kind. Mother or father won't pay for their educations, demeans them constantly and undermine their individuality and creativity. The pain that these discarded children suffer is extreme. Many of them leave home early in their midteens to look for ways to survive. They are estranged from the siblings that went along with the narcissistic parent, These siblings despise the ones who were cast out and do everything they can to make their lives miserable. There is no opportunity for a "prodigal son or daughter" reunion with the narcissistic parent. The familial doors have been locked and the compound is sealed off.
Those who survive the sociopathic narcissistic parent have a long hard scrabble road ahead of them. I have communicated with these adult children. They endured many psychological and monetary harsh winters of striving to just get the bare necessities. For many, the wounds of childhood are still raw and painful. Others persevere through arduous work and schooling (every cent paid by them alone) to achieve their professional goals. As adults many of these individuals have difficulty finding partners who are supportive and empathic. Some fall in love with narcissists and sociopathic narcissists. They end up repeating the torments of childhood. This demonstrates the depth of pain the child of such parents experienced. They were never protected or cherished or felt special and valued. It is not surprising that they would find partners who would treat them with disrespect, cruelty and contempt.
Some of these adult children break the cycle of self harm and sever their relationship with the sociopathic narcissist. They redefine themselves, develop a sense of self entitlement and renew themselves as individuals who have moved beyond the pain of their family of origin and into a life that they deserve where there is hope, self initiative, inner peace and psychological and emotional freedom. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Returning to a Narcissist-Choose Wisdom over a Child's Wishes
You have been there so many times---the irresistible charm, being impressed with professional status, physical attraction, extravagant promises, a new life vision, unlimited possibilities, a wonderful powerful person with whom to share your life.
It is so tempting, remembering the peak times, the emotional highs, putting the ugliness in the background---forgetting chronic rages, demands for perfection, the wearing down and grinding down to exhaustion, the 24/7 demands, the deceits and betrayals, the bombardment of lies.
Much of the reason to return to narcissists lies in the unfulfilled needs and wishes of childhood of the narcissist's victims.These needs and wishes are often forgotten or lie in the recesses of the unconscious. Some victims strongly feel that they don't deserve to be treated with respect as a separate individual. They were never loved, accepted, experienced parental warmth. In some instances their parents were narcissists. Many of those who return to the narcissist are repeating this destructive childhood pattern.
No one person or persons can satisfy or respond perfectly to them. Eventually, many do the hard work of recognizing, accepting and repairing the psychological and emotional damage. As a result we are free from parental conditioning and become independent from the family of origin.
Awaken and choose wisdom and intuition as you move toward becoming separate, steady and strong. Take your life in your hands. Now you are free. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
It is so tempting, remembering the peak times, the emotional highs, putting the ugliness in the background---forgetting chronic rages, demands for perfection, the wearing down and grinding down to exhaustion, the 24/7 demands, the deceits and betrayals, the bombardment of lies.
Much of the reason to return to narcissists lies in the unfulfilled needs and wishes of childhood of the narcissist's victims.These needs and wishes are often forgotten or lie in the recesses of the unconscious. Some victims strongly feel that they don't deserve to be treated with respect as a separate individual. They were never loved, accepted, experienced parental warmth. In some instances their parents were narcissists. Many of those who return to the narcissist are repeating this destructive childhood pattern.
No one person or persons can satisfy or respond perfectly to them. Eventually, many do the hard work of recognizing, accepting and repairing the psychological and emotional damage. As a result we are free from parental conditioning and become independent from the family of origin.
Awaken and choose wisdom and intuition as you move toward becoming separate, steady and strong. Take your life in your hands. Now you are free. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Some Children of Narcissists are Psychologically More Vulnerable
Dr. Elaine Arons introduced the concept of the highly sensitive person as a result of her extensive clinical research. She tells us that it is vital to understand certain characteristics about these individuals: "Your trait is normal. It is found in 15 to 20% of the population." "It is innate." "You are more aware than others of subtleties. This is mainly because your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply." "You are also more easily overwhelmed." "You are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel..."
A highly sensitive child of a narcissistic parent is inclined to have a more difficult and traumatic experience. With a parent who is insensitive to the feelings and perceptions of others, who is emotionally distant, incapable of empathy, highly manipulative, living each day in this psychological environment is extremely challenging and painful. Some sensitive children learn to protect themselves from the narcissistic parent through their deep intuitive sense. They learn to keep a safe emotional distance from this parent and some fortunate children discover that there are others in the family environment from whom they can obtain feelings of security and acceptance. Some children wall themselves off emotionally and use their minds to escape into their private worlds of the imagination. There are children who have no where to go---they feel imprisoned by their narcissistic parent. They become the receptacle of the narcissist's aggressive, cruel projections. From early childhood they take in these criticisms and humiliations and believe that there is fundamentally flawed deep within them. I hear life stories of many of these adult children of narcissistic parents. Their nightmarish tales wrench your heart. Often their suffering is protracted and continues through much of their adulthood. With many adults of narcissistic parents, there comes a time, often during a time of crisis, when these survivors recognize that they separate human beings who are intrinsically good and worthwhile. Most of all, these children realize that they are neither mother nor father but unique individuals. Many are helped toward healing of these specific childhood wounds through quality psychotherapy, meditation and hatha yoga. They step out of the painful identities imposed on them by the narcissistic parent and reclaim their lives. A new cycle of life has begun for them. We celebrate their tremendous victory. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
A highly sensitive child of a narcissistic parent is inclined to have a more difficult and traumatic experience. With a parent who is insensitive to the feelings and perceptions of others, who is emotionally distant, incapable of empathy, highly manipulative, living each day in this psychological environment is extremely challenging and painful. Some sensitive children learn to protect themselves from the narcissistic parent through their deep intuitive sense. They learn to keep a safe emotional distance from this parent and some fortunate children discover that there are others in the family environment from whom they can obtain feelings of security and acceptance. Some children wall themselves off emotionally and use their minds to escape into their private worlds of the imagination. There are children who have no where to go---they feel imprisoned by their narcissistic parent. They become the receptacle of the narcissist's aggressive, cruel projections. From early childhood they take in these criticisms and humiliations and believe that there is fundamentally flawed deep within them. I hear life stories of many of these adult children of narcissistic parents. Their nightmarish tales wrench your heart. Often their suffering is protracted and continues through much of their adulthood. With many adults of narcissistic parents, there comes a time, often during a time of crisis, when these survivors recognize that they separate human beings who are intrinsically good and worthwhile. Most of all, these children realize that they are neither mother nor father but unique individuals. Many are helped toward healing of these specific childhood wounds through quality psychotherapy, meditation and hatha yoga. They step out of the painful identities imposed on them by the narcissistic parent and reclaim their lives. A new cycle of life has begun for them. We celebrate their tremendous victory. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Children of Narcissistic Parents - Moving Beyond Your Personal History
I receive some of the most painful and touching communications from children of a narcissistic mother or father. In some cases, these individuals were surrounded by narcissistic family members, including parents and several narcissistic siblings. I hear from adult scapegoated children who were grew up with golden child siblings. There life stories are emotionally wrenching. The cruelties perpetrated on them were chronic and unmerciful. While the narcissistic parent constantly made outrageous demands on the non-narcissistic child, she/he picked one or two other children in the family who were found to be superior, unblemished almost godlike. The scapegoated child was constantly humiliated and treated as an inferior person. Unrelenting cruelties and verbal and in some instances physical abuse were thrust upon these children.
In many cases the narcissist parent was an instigator in turning her budding narcissistic children against the victimized son or daughter whom she viewed as second rate and defective. All of the mother's/father's primitive aggressive projections were projected upon these targeted children. Many courageously learned to survive in creative ways. Some scapegoated children become hermits within their own home and play the role of being invisible. They are frequently left to their own devices, unprotected by the narcissistic parent, learn how to fend for themselves. Some of these children are already living on their own before the age of eighteen. I have known of children who have left theses homes of horror before legal age in order to be free from the constant taunting, cruel games, harsh criticisms and constant fear and anxiety.
The narcissist is never going to change regardless of your hopes, wishes, sacrifices, kindnesses. These are losing propositions when dealing with a narcissistic parents.
Those who free themselves from narcissistic parents build a life that is beyond their personal history. This is challenging, takes perseverance and unrelenting purpose and focus. You are not your narcissistic parent. You are a unique human being of great value. It is not your fault that your narcissistic parent has a severe personality disorder, is cruel and deceptive and has attempted continuously and purposely to disrupt, interrupt and devalue your life. Those who free themselves form narcissistic parents, find friends whom they can trust. Another route is to establish a practice of stillness in the form of meditation, gentle yoga or other modality. By consistently practicing these forms of stilling the mind, we communicate with the part of ourselves that cannot be touched or harmed by our early traumatic conditioning. These practices can fit into a spiritual belief used in a non-spiritual purpose to improve and steady our nervous systems, increase our focus and concentration. Many benefit from high quality psychotherapy.
Getting in touch with the innermost parts of yourself where you will find peace and acceptance is well worth the consistent practice that it takes. When we learn to separate and individuate out of our family of origin we have begun to see ourselves as we are, using our own lens, writing our own unique history. We are a work in progress throughout our lives. Each day we have a new opportunity to become more authentic, to activate our creative gifts, to fulfill our many potentials, to practice giving and receiving love and affection. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the Book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
In many cases the narcissist parent was an instigator in turning her budding narcissistic children against the victimized son or daughter whom she viewed as second rate and defective. All of the mother's/father's primitive aggressive projections were projected upon these targeted children. Many courageously learned to survive in creative ways. Some scapegoated children become hermits within their own home and play the role of being invisible. They are frequently left to their own devices, unprotected by the narcissistic parent, learn how to fend for themselves. Some of these children are already living on their own before the age of eighteen. I have known of children who have left theses homes of horror before legal age in order to be free from the constant taunting, cruel games, harsh criticisms and constant fear and anxiety.
The narcissist is never going to change regardless of your hopes, wishes, sacrifices, kindnesses. These are losing propositions when dealing with a narcissistic parents.
Those who free themselves from narcissistic parents build a life that is beyond their personal history. This is challenging, takes perseverance and unrelenting purpose and focus. You are not your narcissistic parent. You are a unique human being of great value. It is not your fault that your narcissistic parent has a severe personality disorder, is cruel and deceptive and has attempted continuously and purposely to disrupt, interrupt and devalue your life. Those who free themselves form narcissistic parents, find friends whom they can trust. Another route is to establish a practice of stillness in the form of meditation, gentle yoga or other modality. By consistently practicing these forms of stilling the mind, we communicate with the part of ourselves that cannot be touched or harmed by our early traumatic conditioning. These practices can fit into a spiritual belief used in a non-spiritual purpose to improve and steady our nervous systems, increase our focus and concentration. Many benefit from high quality psychotherapy.
Getting in touch with the innermost parts of yourself where you will find peace and acceptance is well worth the consistent practice that it takes. When we learn to separate and individuate out of our family of origin we have begun to see ourselves as we are, using our own lens, writing our own unique history. We are a work in progress throughout our lives. Each day we have a new opportunity to become more authentic, to activate our creative gifts, to fulfill our many potentials, to practice giving and receiving love and affection. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the Book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Don't Capitulate to the Narcissist---You Are Whole and Strong
You are and were meant to be whole and strong human beings. Many of you have had a very rough ride in life, often too much to bear. I know of those who have been almost at the breaking point with narcissists' deceptions, betrayals and horrendous cruelties. Their secret psychological tortures are performed out of public notice when no one but the victim is their target. Even children don't suspect how horrendous and overwhelmingly painful a non-narcissistic spouse has suffered under unspeakable pain and chronic distress---But we must talk about them---these narcissists who are becoming normalized by our current society---bring them out into the open, pin them down, wriggling, with the truth of our words and our lives.
The narcissist is a clever deceiver. Most people believe him/her, even professional psychotherapists, judges on the bench, and too many of those in authority who wield the power to make life changing decisions. (custody of children for starters) Too often those who sit in judgment favor the narcissist's twisted stories, packs of well constructed layered lies and traps that they lay for those whom they plot to ensnare and vanquish. Each one of us---victims of narcissistic cruelty--daughters and sons of narcissists, spouses of narcissists, siblings of narcissists, family members can start by learning in detail as much as they can about the ways these individuals operate beneath the radar (when they are off stage), the family dynamics that mold these clever impostors, the many ways that today's society accepts this severe personality disorder and discounts the emotional and psychological devastation of other human beings that narcissists always leave behind them. That is the tragedy that we must face, acknowledge and start to communicate directly so that the voices of the victims of narcissistic abuse are heard through every medium possible. The Internet is a powerful source for truth telling and the global distribution of vital information----instantaneously. I communicate with too many of those who have suffered too much for too long and are still at the mercy of narcissistic abuse in their daily lives or through past cruelties that still resonate within them.
Know that you will heal. The human psyche, mind and soul is always in the process of healing. This is a vital aspect of human nature and all of life. When we are receptive to the deepest parts of ourselves and can attune to the stillness, the straight truth that speaks directly to us, we become aware of the forces of healing that are waiting for us to say: "Yes, I am whole, free and strong"! Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
The narcissist is a clever deceiver. Most people believe him/her, even professional psychotherapists, judges on the bench, and too many of those in authority who wield the power to make life changing decisions. (custody of children for starters) Too often those who sit in judgment favor the narcissist's twisted stories, packs of well constructed layered lies and traps that they lay for those whom they plot to ensnare and vanquish. Each one of us---victims of narcissistic cruelty--daughters and sons of narcissists, spouses of narcissists, siblings of narcissists, family members can start by learning in detail as much as they can about the ways these individuals operate beneath the radar (when they are off stage), the family dynamics that mold these clever impostors, the many ways that today's society accepts this severe personality disorder and discounts the emotional and psychological devastation of other human beings that narcissists always leave behind them. That is the tragedy that we must face, acknowledge and start to communicate directly so that the voices of the victims of narcissistic abuse are heard through every medium possible. The Internet is a powerful source for truth telling and the global distribution of vital information----instantaneously. I communicate with too many of those who have suffered too much for too long and are still at the mercy of narcissistic abuse in their daily lives or through past cruelties that still resonate within them.
Know that you will heal. The human psyche, mind and soul is always in the process of healing. This is a vital aspect of human nature and all of life. When we are receptive to the deepest parts of ourselves and can attune to the stillness, the straight truth that speaks directly to us, we become aware of the forces of healing that are waiting for us to say: "Yes, I am whole, free and strong"! Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Learn to Detach from Narcissist's Outrageous Projections
Narcissists are constantly projecting their unconscious psychological venom on to others, especially spouses, children, siblings and other family members. Inside the privacy of the home, those who revere the image that the narcissist presents in the outside world have no inkling just how ugly the narcissist's personality can be. For those he/she is impressing to obtain narcissistic supplies, this person becomes a source of adulation and veneration.
For those who live with him behind closed doors, the narcissist is a living nightmare. He is constantly demanding, spoiled, insisting on perfection from others. When you do something perfectly he/she finds a flaw and starts picking away at you. When narcissist's don't get from you what they say they want, they are inclined to scream like two year olds with greatly enhanced volume. They are relentless insisting that they are right, you are wrong and that there is something psychologically and mentally askew with you. You need professional help. The reverse is true---this individual has a severe personality disorder that is not going to change.
If you are staying with the narcissist while you are making a decision about your future, learn how to detach yourself emotionally from these individuals. Developing a meditation practice, yoga practice, learning how to still the mind, takes consistent discipline but it is well worth the effort. When we achieve a level of objectivity about the outrageous behaviors and verbal slings of the narcissist, we are able to distance ourselves from them . We recognize often in the moment that what is happening is that this person is unloading all of his rage and blame on to us. The discipline of learning to own what is ours psychologically ours and what belongs to someone else is invaluable in dealing with the corrosive, volcanic and unpredictable behavior of the narcissist. We see and hear a person who is not more than two years of age, screaming, squirming, red faced and throwing himself/herself about because they must have what the want now. If we can view this from a psychological distance, we grow stronger on every level. For some spouses it is necessary to sever the relationship because of its toxicity to them and their children. Learning how to detach and building a stronger solid sense of self and your own entitlement are key to dealing with this personality disorders. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
For those who live with him behind closed doors, the narcissist is a living nightmare. He is constantly demanding, spoiled, insisting on perfection from others. When you do something perfectly he/she finds a flaw and starts picking away at you. When narcissist's don't get from you what they say they want, they are inclined to scream like two year olds with greatly enhanced volume. They are relentless insisting that they are right, you are wrong and that there is something psychologically and mentally askew with you. You need professional help. The reverse is true---this individual has a severe personality disorder that is not going to change.
If you are staying with the narcissist while you are making a decision about your future, learn how to detach yourself emotionally from these individuals. Developing a meditation practice, yoga practice, learning how to still the mind, takes consistent discipline but it is well worth the effort. When we achieve a level of objectivity about the outrageous behaviors and verbal slings of the narcissist, we are able to distance ourselves from them . We recognize often in the moment that what is happening is that this person is unloading all of his rage and blame on to us. The discipline of learning to own what is ours psychologically ours and what belongs to someone else is invaluable in dealing with the corrosive, volcanic and unpredictable behavior of the narcissist. We see and hear a person who is not more than two years of age, screaming, squirming, red faced and throwing himself/herself about because they must have what the want now. If we can view this from a psychological distance, we grow stronger on every level. For some spouses it is necessary to sever the relationship because of its toxicity to them and their children. Learning how to detach and building a stronger solid sense of self and your own entitlement are key to dealing with this personality disorders. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com
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