Narcissistic Spouses Deepen Psychological Childhood Wounds

 You may be repeating the psychological abuse and deprivation you experienced as a child in your marriage to a narcissistic personality disorder. Living with this person, you are made to feel unimportant, discarded and unworthy. You are not getting the attention and caring that you deserve.
When you live with a narcissist the home environment is chaotic and unpredictable. The narcissist often goes into extreme rages that have a shocking and disrupt effect on the nervous systems of the spouse and children.
The narcissists expects perfection from you. When you perform at a high level you are brutally criticized and demeaned. The narcissist is projecting unconscious feelings of inadequacy and aggression on to you.
There is a complete lack of sensitivity when you are married to a narcissist. Your feelings are never acknowledged appropriately. He/she may react by going out the door, arguing with you or saying: "I am superior to you; there is something very wrong with you. The message to the non-narcissist spouse is: "I will never be good enough; I have no value."

When you are married to a narcissist there is no room for your individuality, thoughts, feelings, creativity, emotional expression---no freedom or space to be yourself.

When you live with a narcissist your opportunities for healing psychological wounds of childhood can be disrupted by the narcissist's selfish, cold, cruel way of treating you and the constant bombardments of his/her mood swings.

The first step is to study about the true nature of the narcissistic personality disorder, recognizing that this individual is not going to change and that he is often accusing and criticizing you unjustly. Detach yourself from this severe psychopathology. Take very good care of yourself. Visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissist's Projections are Psychologically Abusive

A projection is an unconscious defense mechanism in which the  individual ejects aggressive, negative feelings and thoughts on to another person. Most people are unaware of their projections. If they get upset or angry they simply let it spew out on those closest to them---children, spouses, business associates, siblings.

Narcissists are constantly projecting feelings that they cannot tolerate out rather than turning inward, identifying that they are projecting and owning what they have done. The narcissist creates his own world. Everything revolves around him/her. He believes that he is the initiator and master of his personal and professional domain. Everyone has a role and that is of serving him and his specific purposes. This characterlogical structure is not going to change; it is rigid and unyielding. Besides the narcissist is never wrong. He automatically blames others when anything goes wrong. It is very stressful to be the recipient of narcissistic projections. The sheer force of the narcissist's accusations and recriminations are stunning and disorienting. No one deserves to be accused, demeaned, humiliated and treated like an inferior human being.
When we are children and have a narcissistic parent we have no choice and must learn how to survive these abusive conditions. As adults we have a choice. We can confront the narcissist in a civil manner and communicate that we have personal boundaries and that this person has stepped over them. In expressing these thoughts it is important to remain emotionally detached from the narcissist's reaction. He/she is waiting for you to cower when he comes back with a counter-attack.

It is vital that you learn to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse. You are in control of your reaction to the narcissist. You cannot change his/her personality structure but you are capable of stating clearly that you deserve to be treated with respect. You expect nothing less. Narcissists feel so entitled and would never believe that you would disagree with them. They are so delusional, thinking that they are superior to everyone else, they know that you will cave in to their demands and threats of recrimination.

Respond to the narcissist's psychological abuse by practicing ways  to remain calm, separate, mentally clear and discerning and focused in dealing with these individuals. Consistent meditation practice is a form of keeping the mind calm and strong. The practice of yoga is another way of deflecting narcissistic abuse. The discipline of these practices builds a flexible, grounded, intuitive and compassionate human being. You are a solid separate human being. You stand on the ground of your authenticity. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation:United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Learn to Detach from Narcissist's Outrageous Projections

Narcissists are constantly projecting their unconscious psychological venom on to others, especially spouses, children, siblings and other family members. Inside the privacy of the home, those who revere the image that the narcissist presents in the outside world have no inkling just how ugly the narcissist's personality can be. For those he/she is impressing to obtain narcissistic supplies, this person becomes a source of adulation and veneration.

For those who live with him behind closed doors, the narcissist is a living nightmare. He is constantly demanding, spoiled, insisting on perfection from others. When you do something perfectly he/she finds a flaw and starts picking away at you. When narcissist's don't get from you what they say they want, they are inclined to scream like two year olds with greatly enhanced volume. They are relentless insisting that they are right, you are wrong and that there is something psychologically and mentally askew with you. You need professional help. The reverse is true---this individual has a severe personality disorder that is not going to change.

If you are staying with the narcissist while you are making a decision about your future, learn how to detach yourself emotionally from these individuals. Developing a meditation practice, yoga practice, learning how to still the mind, takes consistent discipline but it is well worth the effort. When we achieve a level of objectivity about the outrageous behaviors and verbal slings of the narcissist, we are able to distance ourselves from them . We recognize often in the moment that what is happening is that this person is unloading all of his rage and blame on to us. The discipline of learning to own what is ours psychologically ours and what belongs to someone else is invaluable in dealing with the corrosive, volcanic and unpredictable behavior of the narcissist. We see and hear a person who is not more than two years of age, screaming, squirming, red faced and throwing himself/herself about because they must have what the want now. If we can view this from a psychological distance, we grow stronger on every level. For some spouses it is necessary to sever the relationship because of its toxicity to them and their children. Learning how to detach and building a stronger solid sense of self and your own entitlement are key to dealing with this personality disorders. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com