Learn to Detach from Narcissist's Outrageous Projections

Narcissists are constantly projecting their unconscious psychological venom on to others, especially spouses, children, siblings and other family members. Inside the privacy of the home, those who revere the image that the narcissist presents in the outside world have no inkling just how ugly the narcissist's personality can be. For those he/she is impressing to obtain narcissistic supplies, this person becomes a source of adulation and veneration.

For those who live with him behind closed doors, the narcissist is a living nightmare. He is constantly demanding, spoiled, insisting on perfection from others. When you do something perfectly he/she finds a flaw and starts picking away at you. When narcissist's don't get from you what they say they want, they are inclined to scream like two year olds with greatly enhanced volume. They are relentless insisting that they are right, you are wrong and that there is something psychologically and mentally askew with you. You need professional help. The reverse is true---this individual has a severe personality disorder that is not going to change.

If you are staying with the narcissist while you are making a decision about your future, learn how to detach yourself emotionally from these individuals. Developing a meditation practice, yoga practice, learning how to still the mind, takes consistent discipline but it is well worth the effort. When we achieve a level of objectivity about the outrageous behaviors and verbal slings of the narcissist, we are able to distance ourselves from them . We recognize often in the moment that what is happening is that this person is unloading all of his rage and blame on to us. The discipline of learning to own what is ours psychologically ours and what belongs to someone else is invaluable in dealing with the corrosive, volcanic and unpredictable behavior of the narcissist. We see and hear a person who is not more than two years of age, screaming, squirming, red faced and throwing himself/herself about because they must have what the want now. If we can view this from a psychological distance, we grow stronger on every level. For some spouses it is necessary to sever the relationship because of its toxicity to them and their children. Learning how to detach and building a stronger solid sense of self and your own entitlement are key to dealing with this personality disorders. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Take Your Life Back from the Narcissist-Make It Your Own

Narcissists possess others for many reasons. First, despite all of the information available now about the narcissistic personality disorder, many individuals are still unable to identify these clever conniving method actors. We are so disarmed and mesmerized by them, we don't realize that they have come to take over our lives. The narcissist believes that everything and everyone belongs to him/her. He takes possession of those who will benefit him with his insatiable ego, need for praise and adulation, inflated self image and extraordinary sense of self entitlement and superiority. Devoid of self knowledge or insight, the narcissist is a cunning animal who instinctively knows how to select individuals whom he can control.  If you marry a narcissist, he will commandeer your life--intruding on your thoughts, your feelings, your imagination and creativity. Your apprehension and worry about how he or she will react to you will supersede your creative movement forward, your most personal perception and interactions with yourself and others---your essence. Yes, the narcissist is capable of this poisonous level of personal intrusion if you allow him to go there. The narcissist has neither boundaries nor mercy. He is a tempestuous child--He wants what he wants and will get it if he has to stop your psychological pulse to get there. Most people do not understand the narcissist's "heart of darkness." Yes, these individuals suffer but this experience of an empty self is deep in their unconscious. It is their victims who consciously go through innumerable hells and tortures.

Focus your attention and effort on learning in detail everything you can about the psychodynamics, origins and predictable behaviors of the narcissistic personality disorder. Begin to recognize who you are---separate from the narcissist. Dig deep, open,expand and you will find the mother lode of the true self that has been bound and hiding in the basement of fear. Open all the windows and doors---inviting the breezes and soft winds to come through your mind, heart, and psyche. This is the beginning of your healing which will continue throughout your life. Life is an ongoing creative project.There are small miracles that are always occurring midst life's bumpiness and full stops.

When we look up into the night sky this Fall and see Jupiter---the brightest light at present, we feel our connection to this wondrous beauty--so far away yet so close. Take Jupiter inside you. Know that you carry this light in you. Let yourself shine! Visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Narcissist's Damaging Verbal Abuse-No More Excuses

I have communicated with many women who have been subjected to severe chronic verbal abuse from their narcissistic husbands. Surprisingly a number of these women are willing to tolerate these verbal bombardments on a regular basis. Narcissists scream right into your face. They threaten with their gestures. They lose control of themselves and fulminate with nasty words and accusations. Spouses are constantly tip-toeing around their narcissistic partners. When I ask some of these victims why they continue to put up with this brutal treatment, they suddenly underplay the effect it is having on them. "Oh, He just goes off once in a while." "He's like a little kid; I know how to quiet him down." "He was in one of his moods; it won't last forever." (There are many verbally abusive narcissistic wives).

When someone is continually screaming, raging, accusing and demeaning you, it takes a tremendous toll on your body, mind and psyche. These irrational eruptions course through the body which is placed in a state of terror and hypervigilence. The spouse always wonders when the next blowup is going to happen. He or she cannot let down for a moment---even when they try to sleep. For many it is reminiscent of a childhood in a highly dysfunctional, emotionally chaotic home with parents detesting one another, arguing constantly, spitting out their hatred of each other, spreading misery throughout the household on to the children. We can become so accustomed to abuse that we expect it. It's what we know and understand. Our sense of reality and expectations about life can be deeply colored by the verbal abuse to which we were exposed as children and then again as adults.

No one deserves to be treated with such vile cruelty, terror and disrespect. The narcissistic personality is never going to stop his or her verbal abuse, screaming, accusations and in your face threats. If you are the victim in this marriage with a narcissist, learn everything you can about this personality disorder. If you are under continuous stress as a result of sharing your life with a narcissist, you can benefit from quality psychotherapy to help you clarify your need to justify and remain a victim of verbal abuse. You can change your sense of self and feel entitled to and worthy of living in a psychologically healthy environment where you feel at peace and are appreciated as an individual---free to be genuine, spontaneous and loving. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com