One of the most difficult roles in life is to be the daughter of a narcissistic mother. There are many styles of narcissistic mothers. Although they are emotionally unattached to their daughters, they provide the basics of food and shelter to their children. These mothers lead selfish lives and do not offer their daughters any affection or emotional warmth. Some narcissistic mothers are actively abusive, verbally and sometimes physically. They are envious of their daughters, intimidating and highly critical. Some narcissistic mothers are obsessed with creating narcissistic clones of themselves. They don't permit any individuality in their daughters and other children. They choose one or even two daughters and mold them into a perfect facsimile of themselves.
There are narcissistic sociopathic mothers who expose their children to drugs, alcohol. The mother often has numerous sexual partners creating circumstances that endanger the daughter and expose her to sexual abuse by the men who are going in and out of the home environment and in some instances, rape. Some daughters learn to survive and navigate these highly chaotic and dangerous home environments.
Daughters of narcissistic mothers can learn how to heal. Acknowledge that your mothers suffers from a severe psychological disorder--narcissistic personality. You are not to blame. As a small child you had to do everything possible to survive. You cannot change your mother. Her unconscious self hatred has been projected on to you. She will always remain self absorbed, deceitful, manipulative and have a complete lack of empathy.
Learn to fully appreciate yourself as a unique individual who has survived a very difficult role as the daughter of a narcissistic mother. Awaken and celebrate your individuality, honor your self knowledge and special gifts. Understand the past, mourn it and move forward. We are always in the process of evolving. Discover and nourish friendships of empathy and understanding.
Study the body/mind/ spirit paradigm. Set up a program of cardiovascular exercise that takes the form that works for you. Try gentle yoga--it is very healing to mind/body/spirit. Begin a spiritual practice that is right for you---prayer and meditation. You are rediscovering and renewing your life.
To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition