I had a relationship with a distant relative for some time whom I knew was a narcissist. His conversation --a one way street since he was incapable of listening or caring about what some one else was thinking, centered around himself--his professional accomplishments, important people to whom he had access, his many trips to exotic shores, the way in which he impressed others with his extraordinary brilliance and social skills. This self anointed monologue was in contrast to another type of communication. He would catch you off guard and begin to pick away, snipe, and grind down your self confidence. This didn't work with me because I always knew exactly what he was doing, the stark cruelty and viciousness of his manner and I saw him infrequently. But it was very unpleasant on those occasions. I am in communication with those who are challenged every day by the narcissist if they are spouses, children or siblings of these severe personality disorders. You deserve so much credit for your courage. Many of you have decided to leave the narcissist even though this can be complex. Children of narcissists work hard at healing from a parent who was so selfish and self absorbed that they never received the attention needed or the love and affection that is so necessary to a child. Many of these individuals receive good psychotherapy and work with the trauma of having to deal with a parent that was incapable of empathy, affection or the ability to accept their child as a s separate valuable individual. You can sever our ties with the narcissist and finally say goodbye to narcissistic abuse. Enlist the help of one or two very close friends whom you can trust completely. They will listen and be present for you. Study the narcissistic personality disorder in detail. Do not blame yourself when the narcissist makes accusations, is highly critical and cold. This is not about you; it's about him/her. You deserve to lead your own life, free of the narcissist. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website: http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
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