Monday, October 4, 2010

Narcissist Tempts us into His Delusional World

It is very easy for most people to become seduced and then trapped in the world of the narcissist, especially if he or she is attractive, magnetic, clever, socially gifted and successful. A high achieving narcissist knows how to turn on the charm like no one else. When these individuals on going through their act (which is real for them) they could be nominated for an academy award. Many of them were raised in the fine art of human attraction--that knowing and skill that draws another person in and then becomes irresistible. Long before we recognize it, we are hooked. The veils of denial have covered our eyes, our  mental discernment and judgmental capacities are weakened. We are ripe and ready to merge into the world of the narcissist. It can be thrilling to be in the company of someone who is so self assured and accomplished, idolized by some many. For the high flying narcissist, life is smooth. He can get whatever he wants and as his partner you share his favored status. The society today rewards high level narcissists with material largess, access to tremendous power, and lifestyles that most of us cannot imagine. It is very difficult to say "No" to the narcissist at this stage. Those who come under this thrall are hypnotized, in a trance like state, giddy with excitement, never wanting the fantasy to stop.

The narcissist's world has a dark side. It's captives are leading their lives on his/her terms, not their own. Some partners and spouses are unaware of their situation because they were never psychologically separate enough to claim their unique individuality. They will go along with the narcissist until he discards them. They are willing to accept the abuse, taunts, deceptions, criticisms, tantrums that the narcissist serves up daily because deep inside they feel unworthy and incapable of leading a separate life. Others find themselves trapped but decide to stick with the lifestyle (good and mainly bad) because they don't have the drive or energy or will to strike out on their own. They take the default position and surrender to the narcissist's cruel darkness than to feel abandoned and have to take personal initiative. .

There are a growing number of individuals who recognize who the narcissist is---a severe, rigid personality disorder that is very unlikely to change. They are ready to step out of the narcissist's delusional world and leave the narcissist behind. They recognize that it won't be easy but they must do this in order to grow psychologically and free themselves, their talents, energies and creativity. Some of those who leave the narcissist feel liberated like long held prisoners. Growing, learning, creating and giving are all part of our true nature. After leaving the delusional world of the narcissist we view ourselves and the world with greater clarity, expansiveness and a deeper appreciation for our separate solid self. Visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: and amazon kindle edition

No comments:

Post a Comment