When marriage to a narcissist has become impossible for the last time, the emotionally abused spouse decides to make the legal break. It is not uncommon for her to find out that there are no financial assets or that they have been spirited away over a period of years. Some spouses have made the mistake (because they trusted this person) to let allow them to control the money and property. In some cases the non narcissistic spouse has invested her earnings in her narcissistic spouse's business to find out later that everything is in his name or has been put under the control of one of his family members or a friend. These life stories are devastating. The abused spouse has been left with no financial resources. If she is fortunate to have a career she will move forward. Like a common criminal her husband has stolen her hard earned money from her. In some cases the narcissistic wife is the perpetrator. Make sure that you personal assets are protected and that you are actively engaged and knowledgeable about your community property, investments, etc.
Narcissists with their constant demands, criticisms, betrayals and manipulations, are always poised to wreak psychological damage upon their spouses. Day after day of bouts of volcanic rage aimed at you, false accusations and threats is damaging to your nervous system. Every time the screaming starts, the endless barbs are volleyed, you feel the flight or flight syndrome coursing through your body. Many spouses put up with this kind of abuse over many decades and find themselves depleted and exhausted.
Your psychological well being is invaluable. To be able to lead your life with inner peace and the solitude you need, to share yourself with a person who appreciates you as an individual is your right. So many spouses who are married to narcissists feel undeserving. Much of this attitude stems from early childhood when the spouse was treated with rampant cruelty, extreme humiliations, dangerous neglect. In some cases, children are discarded and placed with other family members who are unable to care for them and fulfill any of their needs. It is not unusual for a child who grows up feeling unworthy to marry a narcissist who continues patterns of abuse that are familiar and exceedingly harmful.
Learn to protect yourself from the narcissistic spouse. Make sure no one takes control of Your Life. Study the narcissistic personality in-depth. Narcissists are a very fast growing part of the population. Assert your entitlement and use your creative gifts. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in your Life