The narcissist lives in a complex psychopathological world, dominated by impenetrable delusions: supreme superiority to everyone, belief in his perfection, limitless self entitlement, massive denial, total lack of conscience, a drive to severely damage those who obstruct his goals.
A delusion is a series of false beliefs that the narcissist holds as his reality.Immersed in deep delusion the narcissist has no access to self truth. His psychological defenses are like reinforced layers of steel.
When you marry a narcissist it is likely that you are unaware of his true nature. You have fallen in love with a highly believable false self individual. Narcissists are often physically attractive. They are obsessed with their physical appearance and display a compelling outer image. Once they make the decision they rivet their attention on you, making you feel special, irreplaceable. Narcissists move in very quickly at the seduction game and wrap up "the deal" --the marriage---with great aplomb. The spouse of the narcissist is fully entranced. As the years go by and the abuse and cruelties mount there are rough spots. Along with these are interspersed huge upsides---money, properties, travel, the royal treatment---that always brings the prodigal partner back into the fold.
The non narcissistic spouse has lost touch with her own identity despite a successful professional career of her own. She/he dives deeper and deeper into the solid belief that material goods, high social status and worldly clout matter the most. She has the freedom to do whatever she wants.
Spouses who now are permanently attached to their narcissistic mates are belted in for the full ride. The curtain of delusion has fallen over this spouse as she fully embraces the false regressive reality, a full eclipse of her real self. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life