Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Love-Hate Relationships--Sons of Narcissistic Mothers

Sons of narcissistic mothers are possessed by them. Their lives are never their own. Thoughts and feelings of "mother" is always pulsing through their heads. They are never free of the narcissistic mother. She is always present even if she is physically absent. The son of a narcissistic mother has internalized this woman who "adores" him.  In many cases, he has been her psychological possession for his entire life. The icon Frank Lloyd Wright had a classic love-hate relationship with his mother. She called him "her prince". He maintained the relationship for most of his life and was extremely ambivalent about her. She was constantly meddling. She became an albatross for Wright. Frank was an incredible grandiose narcissist--highly talented but irresponsible, cruel, unempathic,and outrageous.

The narcissistic mother creates a false self of her son. She decides who he is and will become. If he is the golden child, he can do no wrong, does not develop a conscience, takes advantage of others, is merciless and cruel to others, treats even his family like dirt. These mothers emasculate their sons who end up having highly pathological relationships with women. They truly hate women even through they may be great flirts and womanizers.

Avoid marrying the narcissistic son of a narcissistic mother. You will be grateful that you have learned to recognize a narcissist. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life



  1. There seems to be a paucity of information on the internet on trying to help the sons of narcissistic months and most seem to talk about labelling them as narcissists rather than recognising the many who have suffered at the hands of their mother and are trying to build their lives. I wish more websites addressed this issue. Unfortunately most men would probably never express what has happened to them. There is little support available. I am lucky being a doctor and having a limited training and awareness of psychology and access to books/journals over the years. I have still found it exceedingly difficult to deal my mother who has mostly covert narcisstic traits. Others are not so.

    1. I totally agree. "most men would probably never express what has happened to them. " it's an inner excruciating pain!!! We desperately seeking for understanding and help! it is so hard,so hard......

  2. I agree with Giles. I too suffered at the hands of a narcissistic mother and I have suffered for many years. I am now 53 and just now figuring this out. I don't suffer from much if what this article states about sons. Mine went in another direction with the betrayal of myself and my dad. I wish there were more sites for support

  3. I am 26 years old and just realizing what my mother was doing to me. Small things from going through all my stuff, telling me what to do with my money. Guilt tripping me with small gifts (leading to me having to do HUGE things, like put up a pool, re-sod the backyard, etc).

    My current girlfriend when she would come over would wear my socks (either because she was cold, or being cute, flirty, w/e) - but then my mom started to as well, when she NEVER would wear my socks - weird. It has damaged me and I am trying to better myself

  4. I am a survivor and a man of a Narc Mother! Men have been labeled as no good by feminists ... which I see as the creators of NARC Mothers.These females who blame men for all their problems are NARCS themselves! They see men as nothing as did their NARC Mothers. They are quick to judge without seeing what lies underneath yet bemoan their own lives as hard...and in need of attention. I think a great book and research could be done on the modern feministic philosophy and the rise of NARC WOMEN AS MOTHERS. Something that may not be PC but is a FACT! I have survived and now thrive independent from an abusive Mother. I could care LESS about some of these idiotic and unemphatic women who simply use this as a way to beat a man down ( which IS what a NARC WOMAN will do ). know who you are..WE ARE THE TRUTH TELLERS...but modern feminism has said otherwise and how no good we are! These women ARE THE NARCS and are simply expressing what a NARC MOTHER would do...THEY CANT BE WRONG BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN. I love the women who are fair, about TRUE EQUALITY between a man and woman, who are humble and kind and EMPATHETIC. They are becoming a rare breed in this NARC society. I laugh out loud at these NARC women who use this post as a means to bash men. You are known and your days are numbered.